You did WHAT?

You did WHAT? (Full Version)

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ThatDamnedPanda -> You did WHAT? (6/2/2009 11:37:59 PM)
Good thing this one speaks for itself, because for the life of me, I can't think of a thing to say. quote: COLUMBIA, S.C. — Authorities revoked the licenses of a South Carolina funeral home and its director after he admitted one of his employees cut the legs of a 6-foot-7 man without the family's permission so the corpse would fit in a casket. The state Board of Funeral Service voted unanimously Monday to close Cave Funeral Home in Allendale. The board also fined funeral director Michael Cave $500 and ordered him to pay $1,500 for the investigation. In an agreement with the board, Cave said employees never told James Hines' family that his body might not fit in a standard casket. An unlicensed worker, Charles G. Cave, cut the legs with an electric saw without consulting relatives. Hines' widow has said his legs had been cut off between the ankle and calf and put back in the coffin, but the document didn't detail exactly what happened. Michael Cave did not immediately return messages left at his home and business Tuesday. A phone number listed for a Charles Cave in Allendale was disconnected. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time... quote: The widow threatened to sue Cave Funeral Home and the business agreed to settle out of court as long as she did not tell anyone how much she received. Of course they agreed to settle. Clearly, they did not have a leg to stand on!

hlen5 -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/2/2009 11:42:07 PM)
Panda Panda Panda.... That last line was sooooooooo bad!!!!

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/2/2009 11:44:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hlen5 Panda Panda Panda.... That last line was sooooooooo bad!!!! You're right. I'm sure someone will come along and chop me off at the knees for it.

Vendaval -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/2/2009 11:45:35 PM)
At least none of the body parts were thrown away or sold. [&:]

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/2/2009 11:46:58 PM)
Good point. If he were an elephant, they would have made umbrella stands out of them!

TheHeretic -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 12:35:24 AM)
Same last name on the employee who did the deed, as on the owner. A dumbass nephew, maybe? Honestly though, I'm 6'2" and I have trouble fitting into standard size stuff on occasion. Are we supposed to believe his family didn't know he never took a 'standard' anything? Around here, the mortuary would have called the most vulnerable member of the family about two hours before the service, and insisted on cash for the longer casket, and if the ensuing drama didn't produce a bigger payday for them, then a 'remains remediation' fee would have been tacked on for chopping him down.

flowerchicknz -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 2:04:00 AM)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rigor_mortis "...The body may only move, after Rigor Mortis has set in, if put into a below freezing temperature, and forty-five minutes later switched to a higher temperature. Repeat this cycle to get the muscles moving..." What wusses, they were squeamish about jumping into a spa pool with a corpse, so they could make the legs floppy enough to fold? "...a process known as electrical stimulation is carried out, especially in beef carcass, immediately after slaughter and skinning. In this process, the carcass is stimulated with alternating current, causing it to contract and relax, which depletes the ATP reserve from the carcass and prevents cold shortening...." Who's got a taser? Two tasers, one for corpsy and the other for the morons. [:D]

sirsholly -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 2:21:41 AM)
quote: Of course they agreed to settle. Clearly, they did not have a leg to stand on! [sm=Groaner.gif]

LadyEllen -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 4:28:30 AM)
So, now they have short selling in the funerals market too? Where will it end? (apart from "at around 6ft") E

BitaTruble -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 6:51:42 AM)
Just did a quickie research and the standard coffin size is only 5'9". I think I'd have had other things to think about, but I would never have thought that the standard would be that short. Yer in trouble. Rich especially, cuz, yanno, Soylent Green is people. Just sayin'. [8D]

sirsholly -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 6:54:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Just did a quickie research and the standard coffin size is only 5'9". I think I'd have had other things to think about, but I would never have thought that the standard would be that short. Yer in trouble. Rich especially, cuz, yanno, Soylent Green is people. Just sayin'. [8D] i am pretty sure the body shrinks after the fluids are removed. (oh suuuuure....a fast way to lose weight and you are too dead to enjoy it)

GreedyTop -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 7:20:42 AM)
dammit, Celeste.. now I wanna see that movie again...

breatheasone -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 7:32:47 AM)
Maybe they just wanted to get a LEG UP on the issue?[8D]

PeonForHer -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 7:35:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Just did a quickie research and the standard coffin size is only 5'9". I think I'd have had other things to think about, but I would never have thought that the standard would be that short. Yer in trouble. Rich especially, cuz, yanno, Soylent Green is people. Just sayin'. [8D] i am pretty sure the body shrinks after the fluids are removed. (oh suuuuure....a fast way to lose weight and you are too dead to enjoy it) Er, may I ask how you're sure, Holly? You look pretty harmless in your photo. Is that a misconception?

sirsholly -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 8:10:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Just did a quickie research and the standard coffin size is only 5'9". I think I'd have had other things to think about, but I would never have thought that the standard would be that short. Yer in trouble. Rich especially, cuz, yanno, Soylent Green is people. Just sayin'. [8D] i am pretty sure the body shrinks after the fluids are removed. (oh suuuuure....a fast way to lose weight and you are too dead to enjoy it) Er, may I ask how you're sure, Holly? You look pretty harmless in your photo. Is that a misconception? i had the thrill of working with a coroner when i was in school. And it was a thrill...i was fascinated [:)].

ShaharThorne -> RE: You did WHAT? (6/3/2009 8:42:30 AM)
Another GROAN for the leg to stand on statement Now, as for my coffin, just cremeate me and toss my ashes in the river...no funeral expense for me!

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