What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (Full Version)

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LAgirlsub -> What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 3:20:31 AM)

Since a fashion thread started...or rather just what to wear on a first domme/sub date, can someone tell me...what do you wear to a bdsm establishment? Heck I don't even know what you call the public play places...Do you say club? Dungeon?

This one local domme I chat with mentioned about going to one in Hollywood...so please tell me...what do you wear? Can I wear what I normally do such as fun jeans and a baby doll T?

And I'll just guess that it's OK to just watch right? I really don't think I'd ever want to be doing a public 'anything' but I'd go for the experience.

Advice for a newbie my wise ones...



DarkSteven -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 4:07:14 AM)

Street clothes have always been acceptable at the clubs I've attended.  They sometimes have problems with patrons dressing in full leather and bothering the neighbors.   If you DO want to wear a bustier and eight inch heels, bring that along as a change of clothes and change while inside.

Contact the club to find out what the rules are, and your Domme to see how she'd like you to dress.

Lots of people come and don't play.  If you attend without her, I'd recommend you not play for the first few times you attend.  If you attend with her, I suggest you discuss that with her ahead of time so there's no feelings of pressure once there.

Have fun!



LAgirlsub -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 4:51:29 AM)

Thanks DS. That was helpful...although no chance I'm wearing leather or anything particularly revealing. So it is a club...I wasn't sure. That's sensible. I'll call ahead.

And well, frankly no domme is telling me how to dress. Advice is one thing, but dictating to me is another. The 'fake' online domme went down that road with me and I didn't like it to begin with. I want to dress appropriately, but I do dress myself. This is one of those areas that if a domme makes these demands on me, she won't be the right one I should connect with.

Thanks again for the advice.



undergroundsea -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 4:59:39 AM)

This ain't no disco. It ain't no country club either. This is LA.

Sheryl Crow reference ;-)

If you are going to a BDSM establishment, you can be dressed in fetish attire. The only issue would be how you would feel dressed in fetish attire walking from your car to the place. If it is an establishment in Hollywood, it could either be a night club that hosts a fetish night, or a private club that hosts BDSM events.

If it is the private club, I doubt they have a dress code. If it is at a night club, it might be good to see if they have a dress code. To get a feel for things, wearing all black is a safe choice. I think a black t with black jeans, or black t with black cargo pants and boots would work. Most places that do not have a dress code allow anything. If you are going for the first time, you might feel better with something middle of the road (not too fetishy, not too vanilla).

Yes, you can just watch. There is no requirement to play.

Cheers,

Sea



Sylverdawn -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 5:29:50 AM)

Here in Dallas I generally wear ... some form of dark skirt... a softly constructed white blouse and a waist cincher... I carry a pair of fuck me pumps in my bag... and walk in something either flat or comfy... listen... some shoes are ment for show and others are ment for work.. I find a place to sit and slip on my pumps... and chat and so forth... if I am going to play...on come my others so I can work ....the back to my seat and pumps... I mean the sub doesnot really see my feet once they are blindfolded and bound.. hope this helps..



breatheasone -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 5:38:06 AM)

i wore lacy lingerie at a dungeon in DC... and to the one in Baltimore i just wore regular clothes.



PeonForHer -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 7:19:48 AM)

quote:

: undergroundsea

This ain't no disco. It ain't no country club either. This is LA.

Sheryl Crow reference ;-)



Once again, you show the most excellent taste, Sea. 

Here in the UK there's nearly always a strict dress code for BDSM clubs- I'm surprised it's not the same across the pond.  Without said dress code, here, there'd be lots of vanillas turning up to ogle and titter. 

I always carry my costume and change when I get there.  Women quite often travel there already in their outfits:  many of these would just about pass as street attire anyway.

Invariably, I've found that people are polite and un-pushy at these venues.  It's always been completely OK just to watch.



OttersSwim -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 7:45:42 AM)

Standard Issue U.S. Submissive Suit - type: male:

1 pair sturdy but slightly worn blue jeans
1 black t-shirt (tight fitting if appropriate)
1 black leather belt
1 pair black Doc Martins or other industrial-style footwear
1 pair ladies lace or satin underwear or thong (if appropriate)
1 pair black leather cuffs
1 black leather collar or chain with padlock



PeonForHer -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 7:54:32 AM)

That satin underwear sounds nice 'n' comfy, Otters.  I'm beginning to see the attraction of this CD lark . . . 



MsFlutter -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 7:57:29 AM)

I change when I get there - saves a lot of explaining in case I have to stop at the store on the way !
 
My mood dictates my wardrobe but I've been all over the map
 
~ a silky blouse paired with a floor-length skirt slit up to *there* on the side and 4" black patent leather stilettos
~ PVC mini-dress, a chevron collar and stiletto platform boots
~ A lightweight shirt, leather skirt, leather underbust corset and heels (see profile photo)
~ pencil-legged pants tucked into some fierce looking boots and a black lace v-necked top
 
Its normal to see every sort of attire one can think of at a playhouse/dungeon. First time I visited our local playhouse, I left my toy case at home. I spent the evening absorbing information and talking to people I'd known from another playhouse years before.

 



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 10:38:01 AM)

I would call and check with the club in question. Some have dress-codes at certain times of the day/week, and abiding by the club dress code is no less important at public dungeons than it is at, say, Club 54 or someplace of that ilk.

In the same way, certain groups may have a certain dress code, or may require certain dress for certain individuals (for example, we have one group locally that requires submissive-type individuals to dress a certain way for group functions, while another group requires certain dress for dominant-type individuals while submissives are allowed to dress in whatever they are comfortable in that is clean.)

Dame Calla



MistressDolly -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 7:42:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub

Since a fashion thread started...or rather just what to wear on a first domme/sub date, can someone tell me...what do you wear to a bdsm establishment? Heck I don't even know what you call the public play places...Do you say club? Dungeon?

This one local domme I chat with mentioned about going to one in Hollywood...so please tell me...what do you wear? Can I wear what I normally do such as fun jeans and a baby doll T?

And I'll just guess that it's OK to just watch right? I really don't think I'd ever want to be doing a public 'anything' but I'd go for the experience.




If there's no dress code, what you describe sounds perfectly fine! Make sure you're wearing nice heels too.

Going strictly as a voyeur is understandable! Have fun! :)



ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 8:31:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub

Since a fashion thread started...or rather just what to wear on a first domme/sub date, can someone tell me...what do you wear to a bdsm establishment? Heck I don't even know what you call the public play places...Do you say club? Dungeon?

This one local domme I chat with mentioned about going to one in Hollywood...so please tell me...what do you wear? Can I wear what I normally do such as fun jeans and a baby doll T?



Are you talking about the Lair, by any chance? If so, I think you can usually check out their website for any possible dress codes for whatever event you're attending (IIRC). I've seen people in jeans and T-shirts for the Saturday aternoon events, but the prime-time action usually calls for something a lttle more upscale. I was chatting with the owner once about dress codes, and he said something to the effect of, "my rule of thumb is, if you're dressed like you're going to Applebee's, please go to Applebee's." The owner is very good at calling back and answering whatever questions you have if you're unfamiliar with the place, and once you've been there once, you'll develop a sense of what works there and what doesn't.



quote:

ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub
And I'll just guess that it's OK to just watch right? I really don't think I'd ever want to be doing a public 'anything' but I'd go for the experience.


Absolutely. I've been there a number of times, and that's all I've ever done. Just  socialize. If it is the Lair we're talking about, there's an outdoor courtyard for people to mix and mingle by the fire, and a  kitchen area for people to graze on snacks and whatnot. And the play spaces have far more people watching than playing. You won't be the least bit out of place. If you're going with a friend, that would mean she's a member and has some experience in public play spaces. Just  follow her lead as far as play space etiquette is concerned, and you'll be fine. And if it's not the Lair you're talking about, some of the specific details obviously  may not apply, but the overall thrust of what I said is applicable in almost any public play space in the country.

Oh... and have fun! Keep in mind that parking for a Friday or Saturday night event at the Lair can be a real bitch, so sensible footwear is not a bad idea. Some people park around the corner on the side streets, but in that neighborhood i prefer to park on the main street for the night-time events, even it means a farther walk. It's not that it's a dangerous place to walk, but the side streets are maybe not the smartest place to park a car for several hours. You'll probably be fine either way, but just something to keep in mind. 



LadyHibiscus -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 8:58:05 PM)

Our local clubs have a dress code of all black clothing or fetishwear... with the idea being keeping out the guys in their khakis and golf shirts, I imagine!  I can't drive in a corset, so I normally change at the club. 

I hate dress codes. HATE them.  I love dressing up, but when I am not in the mood, I am NOT in the mood!  Thank heavens for the LBD!



LadyHibiscus -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 9:01:30 PM)

Oh, and Peon?  LBD = Little Black Dress [:D]



undergroundsea -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 10:17:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


Thanks mate :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda
I was chatting with the owner once about dress codes, and he said something to the effect of, "my rule of thumb is, if you're dressed like you're going to Applebee's, please go to Applebee's."


[:D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Oh, and Peon?  LBD = Little Black Dress [:D]


Thank you for the clarification. It's not only Peon who needed it. I was thinking LBD? Leather by Danny?

Cheers,

Sea



GreedyTop -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 11:10:45 PM)

OP.. if you are talking about the Lair, I have gone there in street clothes.  Granted, it was more stylish than jeans and a T.. usually a decent blouse, black (or dark colored) jeans and definitely NOT sneakers.  Heels, not always ( I cant do heels for any length of time, but black, flat boots was ok).  If it is the Lair you can contact Kane through the site  and ask.... 



stella41b -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/3/2009 11:37:57 PM)

If the club is in Ireland or Dublin for that matter be sure to wear something waterproof or take an umbrella with you.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/4/2009 12:03:23 AM)

I've been to very few, but generally, they ask that you show up in street clothes, than if you'd like, change into fetish attire once you get there.  My suggestion is, wear something comfortable, than bring your slutty outfit and heels to change into, if you like to dress that way, and want to attract attention/invites to play.   If you don't dress that way in general, dress like you are in your profile pic.   Enjoy yourself, and let us know how things go.  [:D]  M



OttersSwim -> RE: What to wear going to a bdsm establishment? (6/4/2009 6:08:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

If the club is in Ireland or Dublin for that matter be sure to wear something waterproof or take an umbrella with you.


If the club is near the comedian Gallagher, please do the same.  [;)]



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