RE: Thinking about giving up

RE: Thinking about giving up (Full Version)

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sirsholly -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 10:21:14 AM)
quote: he best method I have found, to discover people with similar interest, is to walk out my front door and find them. Do not worry so much about age, and such, if you are just wanting to hang out with people with similar interest. Just find where they hang out and go there. Walk up to a group, smile, and say "Hi my name is ___________. I wanted to introduce myself because I am new to this place/group/munch/etc. " really good advice! You can use Google to locate munches in your area.

IronBear -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 11:17:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: brisbaneBoy88 Been on this Site for what seems like years, in fact its been a couple of years. The reason i joined in because I'm genuinely interested in BDSM and its lifestyle and wanted to find people my own age in my area who have the same interests. For some reason Though no matter what i do, people just don't respond, I send genuine emails,(not just one liners) and have tried multiple approaches, but nothing seams to work. I don't know what else to do, Thinking about giving up and not bothering anymore. Am I doing something wrong? Contact me on the other side and I'll give you some info and a link which could help. Queenslanders should help each other after all..

NihilusZero -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 11:49:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: brisbaneBoy88 Been on this Site for what seems like years, in fact its been a couple of years. quote: brisbaneBoy88 Posts: 1 Joined: 5/25/2009 Status: offline ? In addition: This is apparently your first forum post. The entirety of your written bio is 54 words long (17 of which are either 1 or 2 characters long). You have ticked no interests/likes/loves/dislikes in your profile at all.... Shall I go on?

DesFIP -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 11:49:53 AM)
Basically when someone says they are giving up because their come ons haven't been responded to, I wonder if they were looking to get married for two years and hadn't - would they then decide never to meet another person of the opposite sex for the rest of their life. Now with that said, writing people and saying you want them to do x, y and z to you will not get any responses. Nobody wants to be seen as a masturbatory fantasy come to life. We want to be seen as people. And just because we're on here doesn't mean we don't want to get to know people. If you went up to strange women in the local coffee shop and asked them point blank if they would give you a blow job, do you really think you would get anyone to say yes? No, obviously they would get away from you as soon as possible and tell the people they came there with what a creep you are. Same thing goes in writing strange women. Fill out your profile with your other interests, I presume you would like to have dinner with your partner occasionally, go to a movie, a concert, send funny bumper stickers to amuse them? Or do you really want someone to show up at your door, have kinky sex and leave immediately after? If so hire an escort. We're women, we want to know you're a safe person to get naked with, we want to know that we won't be ashamed to introduce you to a friend we might pass in the street, we want to know that you like us as people, enjoy our company. Now beyond going to munches, let's be honest here. You have zero experience so you aren't looking to jump right in with scat play and needles through your scrotum. You want to start at the shallow end of the pool. So why not date women who appeal to you and ask once you've found you like each other, if they would be interested in you tying their wrist to the bedpost with a scarf? And then ask them to do so to you? Explore together instead of seeking someone to teach you about this. If you want a teacher, take workshops, go to demos, go to a pro. But there are two people in that bed and they better both be getting their needs met. Don't be a user, which frankly, is the way your profile reads.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 12:46:28 PM)
I'm surprised as Brisbane has several quite marvelous groups with munches and events--try looking into those.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 1:14:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael So, as a 21 year old kid your kind of fucked. Most women your age who want to have sex don't have to hang out online looking and there is a REASON women your age are on here, they are lost in fantasy, they are complete nutjobs, or they are actually men my age pretending to be women. The few your age who ARE cool chicks are probably in high demand and your profile doesn't exactly scream "hot with it young stud" Just reposting Dude I am 22 and not lost in a fantasy or a nutjob but ta for the brush stroke Hey, I said MOST, not all.

DarkSteven -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 4:49:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero quote: ORIGINAL: brisbaneBoy88 Been on this Site for what seems like years, in fact its been a couple of years. quote: brisbaneBoy88 Posts: 1 Joined: 5/25/2009 Status: offline ? In addition: This is apparently your first forum post. The entirety of your written bio is 54 words long (17 of which are either 1 or 2 characters long). You have ticked no interests/likes/loves/dislikes in your profile at all.... Shall I go on? Yeah, you might want to mention that this guy has gotten phenomenal advice from people with combined decades in the lifestyle, and he's never responded to anyone. He seems to lack that elusive staying power.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 6:10:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: brisbaneBoy88 Been on this Site for what seems like years, in fact its been a couple of years. The reason i joined in because I'm genuinely interested in BDSM and its lifestyle and wanted to find people my own age in my area who have the same interests. For some reason Though no matter what i do, people just don't respond, I send genuine emails,(not just one liners) and have tried multiple approaches, but nothing seams to work. I don't know what else to do, Thinking about giving up and not bothering anymore. Am I doing something wrong? Take an aspirin....you're a kid...you're 21 years old....you haven't even figured out that it's worth it to work 2 extra hours a week for the next 6 years to pay an attorney for all the shit you're gonna do in the next 8 years..... You don't know shit....but in short order you will. It's all good.... You'll get there....honest. Ya know what? Work hard....pay your fucking bills, know that chics want to fuck you waaaaaaaay the hell more than you'll ever guess....your buddies Mom (who you've thought was hot for the last 2 years....who, by the way, has thought you were hot for the last 4) is checking you out....and....those pricks that you work for (currently)....they're gonna have some say in your future. It's all good. Have a great time....truly.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 8:51:24 PM)
WE've met and I am from sacramento. Now true we didn't arrange to meet or intend to meet, but that being what it is, yeah, you have met ONE local women off of collarme. quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael There are a ton of real people on Collarme that I have met, loved one, dated a few, friends with many. However, I have never met a local woman off of Collarme despite being well respected and having all the "cool plastic badges" of a hot dom. NEVER!

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 8:54:57 PM)
You don't know that, unless of course you're friends and he told you so himself. Just because you may of been that way at 21 doesn't mean he is and it's insulting to think you know it all about what a 21 year old does or does not know when you're not even involved with that 21 year old, nor can you read his mind, nor are you clarvoyant, now quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie Take an aspirin....you're a kid...you're 21 years old....you haven't even figured out that it's worth it to work 2 extra hours a week for the next 6 years to pay an attorney for all the shit you're gonna do in the next 8 years..... You don't know shit....but in short order you will. It's all good.... You'll get there....honest. Ya know what? Work hard....pay your fucking bills, know that chics want to fuck you waaaaaaaay the hell more than you'll ever guess....your buddies Mom (who you've thought was hot for the last 2 years....who, by the way, has thought you were hot for the last 4) is checking you out....and....those pricks that you work for (currently)....they're gonna have some say in your future. It's all good. Have a great time....truly.

HeavansKeeper -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/5/2009 9:12:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael So, as a 21 year old kid your kind of fucked. Most women your age who want to have sex don't have to hang out online looking and there is a REASON women your age are on here, they are lost in fantasy, they are complete nutjobs, or they are actually men my age pretending to be women. The few your age who ARE cool chicks are probably in high demand and your profile doesn't exactly scream "hot with it young stud" Just reposting Dude I am 22 and not lost in a fantasy or a nutjob but ta for the brush stroke Colour, you missed the caveat. "The few your age who ARE cool chicks are in high demand, and your profile blar blar blar" I agree with Michael. The young little things that are also smart are either a) men dressed up like girls, b) rare and hence have their pick of schmucks to provide blowjobs to on demand, c) hawked up on D/s Cinderella fantasy, or d) happily taken. I've given a try to meet people through collarme with dismal success. If I did want to seal the deal (even for an amicable lunch) I'd have to follow up like a used car salesman. Being 8 hours from Canberra or Sydney probably hinders your prospects even more. My advice: Post on the forums as a method of entertainment. Every now and then someone will mention something to you, start a conversation, etc. Of my last 100 cmails, 96 are responses from forums. 1 is a response from a direct cmail, 3 are scams from Nigerian kings. I'm quite a notable among the nobility, it seems. Edited to be a gentleman.

Observer20 -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/6/2009 8:56:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael So, as a 21 year old kid your kind of fucked. Most women your age who want to have sex don't have to hang out online looking and there is a REASON women your age are on here, they are lost in fantasy, they are complete nutjobs, or they are actually men my age pretending to be women. The few your age who ARE cool chicks are probably in high demand and your profile doesn't exactly scream "hot with it young stud" My advice? Join local groups, where you are with people who actually DO do this stuff and you just might find a lass who finds you hot. You are not going to find one on here for a variety of reasons. "Fetlife" is a better site, because the people on there, use it to maintain contact with people they know in person. there is even information about real life events on there. It isn't a dating site, like this one. The ratio of men to women on here is like, 10 to 1. Not good odds for the men. And I agree with you, a lot of the hot women know that there are desperate men on sites like these, that they can sink their claws into. There are a lot of golddiggers and male wankers, looking to get off, pretending to be "dominant women" on here. [:'(] Trust me, this guy is better off researching any play parties or munches in his area. He'll have nothing to lose. He might not get played with the first couple of parties, but at the absolute worst, he'll meet people and make new friends.

Observer20 -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/6/2009 9:00:54 AM)
delete this post

colouredin -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/6/2009 9:06:06 AM)
SimplyMichael, Sorry caught me on a really bad day, was looking to be snarky. Sorry

Lagosas -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/6/2009 12:36:17 PM)
Very informative, non judgemental post. Keep spreading the love:)

murdoch -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/21/2009 8:39:07 AM)
Gday, I'm also from Australia and I'm not too lucky with this site either - I honestly thought it was just me having trouble on here, there are alternatives though. try http://aussieadultgroups.com/kinkcal/month.php It'll tell you local kink-friendly events happening in your state . Alternatively, you could also chat on the bdsmmelbourne channel on the bondage IRC network, I remember they do have a few QLDers on there. Yet another alternative of course is the very well known large alternative dating site though you need to pay subscription fees for that (Not sure if I can mention it's name here?) I've honestly been looking for what seems like forever for a kink-friendly partner, I do know how you feel when you say you feel like giving up, it sucks, but there are 10 times as many subbies as their Dominant counterparts and therefore it is particularly hard to find a compatible partner without a lot of luck. You could always try dating a vanilla girl and maybe bring her over to our side, though in my experience it also takes a special kind of woman to be the truly sadistic type (if that's what you're into) From what I've found most nilla partners will just participate to satisfy you, which feels pointless.

Prinsexx -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/21/2009 9:16:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: brisbaneBoy88 Been on this Site for what seems like years, in fact its been a couple of years. The reason i joined in because I'm genuinely interested in BDSM and its lifestyle and wanted to find people my own age in my area who have the same interests. For some reason Though no matter what i do, people just don't respond, I send genuine emails,(not just one liners) and have tried multiple approaches, but nothing seams to work. I don't know what else to do, Thinking about giving up and not bothering anymore. Am I doing something wrong? i just read your profile and it says nothing much about who you are, other than you are a switch (confuses many) and have been interested in the lifestyle for a few years. Interested? Everyone is interested. It's a dinner party show stopper when you say you like being collared like a dog, whipped like a horse and fucked like a rabbit. See? A little sense of humour goes a long way and so does a list of interests. Do you write? Ever? Have a diary? Then have a journal on here! Do you face book? Or twitter? Then you have something surely to say about yourself. Your type face is boring and the background to the few words you use is grey and drab-drab. Take a while to browse some of the male profiles here. There are some really very interesting guys.. i know i get hit on multiple times a day. That'll be my Witch's bottle working. See? Strap lines...excuse the pun.... It's not just the cock. It's what the cock has got. Catch my drift?

CNJDom -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/21/2009 10:37:28 AM)
Hello brisbaneBoy88, I did a quick search for kink in your area, and was wondering if you had done this? Club Lush, and other BDSM related clubs, and such should be around. And if that is the case, then there must be BDSM/Fetish munches as well. Even if you made into a store that catered to the lifestyle, then there might be someone around to direct you to some local kink groups to get you started. On the Dom/subfriends website I found this link: http://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdir/db.cgi?db=org&uid=default&country=AUSTRALIA&view_records=View+Records&ww=on I'm hoping this helps.

IronBear -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/21/2009 11:45:29 AM)
This is why I posted asking the OP to contact me via c-mail so I could put him in contact with some good folks and the local group I am a member of who will happily help him in his quest. Still as someone else said he has not bothered to reply on this thread or make any contact so it does make you wonder how serious he is... Still we can only but try to help can't we....

Prinsexx -> RE: Thinking about giving up (6/21/2009 12:26:54 PM)
It's amazing how many responses one gets when one does not know what the fuck one is doing.....

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