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QuixoticErrant -> RE: letter of apology to my MstrDragon on the one year anniversary of your death (6/25/2009 4:07:05 PM)
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quote:
Remember how you told me when you had agreed to be my training Dominant, that I was too trusting and it was going to get me into trouble? You made us go very slow until it was safer to meet. Sir, that lesson went right out the window, and I would actually meet men that I had only IM’ed with for a few days. Worst of all (I can almost see the scowl on your face) I let them come to my home. I know, I am very lucky that the only bad thing that happened was that I allowed myself to be treated like an unpaid prostitute, and that was my fault entirely.
I had a large empty space inside of my heart and my soul, and instead of filling that hole with memories of you and the lessons that you taught me, I desperately tried to fill it with cold, emotionless scenes with men that really had no feeling for me at all, other than they were thrilled that I was there for the taking with no strings attached.
I went into most of these relationships hoping that there would be emotional attachment and perhaps even love at some point, and that was quite acceptable. The inexcusable part of this behavior, was that I continued to allow myself to be used like that even after I knew there was no chance that that was going to happen. You taught me so much better than that Sir and I am very sorry to have behaved this way
This is more sweet than I have words for. I pray that a certain girl sees me this way. I really hope and pray that I could be that good for her. I can't imagine a dominant being more profoundly touched by something. Good luck in all things.
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