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RE: married sub - 2/11/2006 3:37:47 PM   
DelRey


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		hey !

Cut the guy some slack, isn't there a presidential seal somewhere that says it's not cheating ????

Oh, that applies to ORAL only..... Maybe some day some other president will put the seal of approval on getting your balls kicked and made to submit and give you a pass on cheating.

Until then you'll just have to keep serving your present master(nilla-wife), ain't that frying pan over your head enough pain? .... (ouch)



(in reply to pearlandsub)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: married sub - 2/11/2006 4:20:31 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'm married and want to serve a fem/dom without my wife's knowledge. Wrong or not?


Well, I'm not judging you. I don't claim to understand male submissiveness, but there are a couple of places that attempt to deal with scratching the BDSM itch without 'cheating' in the traditional marital sense. Yahoo has some of those groups. One of them is called FriendshipSpankings (in Yahoo) and you can find others. They have a list-server, and you can get list mailing at [email protected]


(in reply to pearlandsub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: married sub - 2/12/2006 10:03:05 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
Marriage often necessitates deception for both parties, though I can certainly say I think it's not 'right' to get into such arrangements in the first place.

Follow your path as you see fit. Make certain it's worth it, however.



"It seems you are living two lives, Mr. Anderson."

(in reply to pearlandsub)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: married sub - 2/12/2006 10:52:35 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

Question: I'm married and want to serve a fem/dom without my wife's knowledge. Wrong or not?


Of course it's fine.

But do make sure you approach a domme correctly. The only acceptable way a married boy is to approach a domme is to address her as "Hey Babycakes!" followed by a laundry list of sexual acts you want her to perform on you. Don't even think about offering to do anything for her - it's all about YOU.

<koff>

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to pearlandsub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: married sub - 2/12/2006 11:40:45 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

quote:

Question: I'm married and want to serve a fem/dom without my wife's knowledge. Wrong or not?


Of course it's fine.

But do make sure you approach a domme correctly. The only acceptable way a married boy is to approach a domme is to address her as "Hey Babycakes!" followed by a laundry list of sexual acts you want her to perform on you. Don't even think about offering to do anything for her - it's all about YOU.

<koff>



smirks and hands MsSonnetMarwood a martini


_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: married sub - 2/12/2006 11:42:35 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I think he best hope that none of the Dommes from here ever got near him, I can feel the stilletto heels being sharpened as we speak

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: married sub - 2/12/2006 11:51:39 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

I think he best hope that none of the Dommes from here ever got near him, I can feel the stilletto heels being sharpened as we speak



now Raven, for Me that is so passe---have to watch the arches you know--I much prefer My favorite--chains--one end CBT and one end to the bumper of a hummer---but I never seem to be able to hear those safewords--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: married sub - 2/12/2006 11:54:07 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, I was thinkin' along those same lines... with a little juking of the concept about the edges.......

OK, Stef; you talked me into it; now I need someone to cheat on........

Goddammit, if it ain't one thing holding me back it's another......

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: married sub - 2/12/2006 1:00:27 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hummm..I am thinking the old phrase be careful what you ask for you just might get it!....and reading some of the Dommes post you might get it and then some...*evil grin*

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: married sub - 2/13/2006 3:52:32 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Perhaps you should ask your wife if she considers it cheating or not, revealing your fetishes to her is less likely to jeopardise your relationship with her than going to see another women will. If you do see another woman to fulfil your masochistic tendencies it will not be a very fulfilling experience for you because your mistress will not be able to leave even slight marks on your skin because you will be to scared that your wife will see them. If you do cheat on her I am sure she will find out about it eventually and it will be far more messy and embarrassing for you when she does.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: married sub - 2/13/2006 4:07:56 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

pearlandsub
Question: I'm married and want to serve a fem/dom without my wife's knowledge. Wrong or not?
As I said before, you already know the answer to this, so why wanting to look like an asshole to those people who might see lying to your spouse as an asshole move?

My guess is you are boring your wife to death as well, so just suggest to her you two have an open marriage, and than you can both go out and find more fun exciting people to do things with without the inconvenience and cost of divorce.
quote:

mnottertail
OK, Stef; you talked me into it; now I need someone to cheat on........

Goddammit, if it ain't one thing holding me back it's another......
Ron
LMAO.. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 2/13/2006 4:12:11 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to pearlandsub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: married sub - 2/13/2006 4:12:58 PM   
WikedUncle


Posts: 45
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

Question: I'm married and want to serve a fem/dom without my wife's knowledge. Wrong or not?


Been there, done that, not worth it. I was lucky that Hubby forgave me and agreed to learn to be my Master. Feel free to email me if you want more details. There have been a lot of threads on this. If you click search at the top, then put in "married" then change the search to topics and subjects you will get 2 pages of threads.


I've only skimmed to this point. There is a dreary sameness to the lynch-mob mentality this question elicits: One can predict what will be said without the bother of reading it. The response I quote is refreshing: what I object to in most such threads is the eagerness with which participants condemn without offering either understanding or solutions. This is what happens when we value online "honesty" over its companion, tolerance. You can only be "honest" about certain topics online. This isn't one of them. When you ask this honest question, you become the lightning rod for all those who are seeking LTRs and have been burned by the dishonest. The dishonest ones are long gone, so they pitch into the ones who have the guts to ask the question openly.

That said, by all means come out at home. Don't expect it to be easy, and understand the risks. You can also be pleasantly surprised by the results. Many people have.

I think you can do it. After all, you had the courage to ask online BDSM's most unpopular and unfashionable question. Show the same courage at home. Yes, your marriage may end, but it may also go places you didn't imagine.

Best of luck (I'm also available offlist)

Uncle



_____________________________

"A man who can express himself in song need not express himself in suicide."

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: married sub - 2/13/2006 5:24:43 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I think he best hope that none of the Dommes from here ever got near him, I can feel the stilletto heels being sharpened as we speak


(laughing) It's always a lose-lose for subMs.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: married sub - 2/13/2006 6:19:37 PM   
cutesub4Him


Posts: 17
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If you cant be honest to your lifemate then how can you be honest with a Domme?.. This life is built on trust, how can One trust without total honesty?

wolfscub
slave to Master Michael
House of The Wolf

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: married sub - 2/13/2006 7:55:28 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

That said, by all means come out at home. Don't expect it to be easy, and understand the risks. You can also be pleasantly surprised by the results. Many people have.


Good advice. I wish I had done that before going outside my marriage. I never thought Hubby would understand, boy was i wrong.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to WikedUncle)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: married sub - 2/13/2006 9:45:44 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:


smirks and hands MsSonnetMarwood a martini


lol omg..I am still waiting on mine!


_____________________________





(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: married sub - 2/13/2006 11:44:59 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DelRey

hey !

Cut the guy some slack, isn't there a presidential seal somewhere that says it's not cheating ????

Oh, that applies to ORAL only..... Maybe some day some other president will put the seal of approval on getting your balls kicked and made to submit and give you a pass on cheating.

Until then you'll just have to keep serving your present master(nilla-wife), ain't that frying pan over your head enough pain? .... (ouch)






Was that Cut him some slack, OR cut off his sac?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence!
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and Determination alone are omnipotent!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's all in the game and how you play it!


< Message edited by IronBear -- 2/13/2006 11:45:50 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DelRey)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: married sub - 2/14/2006 12:01:45 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Wrong or not?


Does it matter?

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to pearlandsub)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: married sub - 2/14/2006 1:38:04 PM   
TyrAnasazi


Posts: 19
Joined: 9/10/2004
From: The Palm Beaches
Status: offline 		Why would you even ask a question you know the answer to?
Wrong, or are you asking this. Can I find a Master in time that will cuckold me with my wife?

_____________________________

Hunc tu cavetto Advocatus Diaboli
Tyr Anasazi

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 39
Lighten up. - 2/14/2006 5:09:55 PM   
Zensee


Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Folks, how do we know the OP already knows “the” answer. He obviously didn’t or he wouldn’t have come here and asked such a heat-score question. A little more light and a little less heat would help.


pearlandsub; If you haven’t told your wife about your needs, that’s the place to start. If she accepts and even enjoys them, you could be on your way to heaven.

If she rejects them, see if she would let you see a pro Domme or to attend play parties to get your itch scratched. If she says no, or if your itch is the 24/7 kind you will be faced with choices; divorce, denial of your needs or an extramarital affair. Each have risks and need to be weighed.

That said, a discrete Pro Domme might be the answer for the last option. In a world of absolutes this is ‘cheating’ but it does not require emotional commitment and is arguably less risky than finding a lover. If it preserves your marriage and allows you some experience of your needs to serve then it may be a risk worth taking. Only you can make that choice.

It’s not perfect but then castration never solved anything either.

Z.

_____________________________

"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." (proverb)

(in reply to TyrAnasazi)
Profile   Post #: 40
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