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How do i find a dom? - 2/10/2006 6:27:07 PM

cocodancer777

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How do I go about weeding potential real masters from the fakes? What d I look for?

Thank you very much.

< Message edited by cocodancer777 -- 2/10/2006 6:52:18 PM >

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/10/2006 6:54:26 PM

Troubleinparadis

Posts: 55
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Tulsa, Ok
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I would suggest first you decide what makes a Master "real" in your eyes....and what traits you like in a partner.

once you have a semi clear idea of what you are seeking, the questions to ask should be easy....

I cant help you with how long to carry your search...I have a friend that has been looking for a sub for 4 years....he has had offers, but hasent found "the one".

I know another that found her perfect match in less than a month....fate has a sense of humor, and the coin flips every day.

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/10/2006 7:50:25 PM

foxglove716

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thats easy. You walk into a restaraunt and "accidentally" fall over a man at a table and land in the OTK position. Then the ball is in his court.

Excellent advice there from trouble. Evaluate which qualities you are looking for first and foremost. Weeding out the bad ones? Thats essential. A huge red flag for me is someone who demands that you submit right from the getgo without getting to know you. What do you look for? Only you can answer that

Its a jungle out there!

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/10/2006 8:19:06 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
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Hmm...potential from fakes....

a good friend of mine (a dom) told me when I first came here...that if someone tries talking about kinks in the first two weeks...to put a stop to it...or quit talking to him.

I tend to agree.

First, you have to find out if you have 'vanilla' interests in common...if your personalities are compatible...and if you both are looking for something at least similar...

Then, you move on to the d/s or s/m or whatever dynamic you are looking for...

My advice?

Find a friend who can become more...

Good luck!!

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/10/2006 9:14:28 PM

MHOO314

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cocodancer777

How do I go about weeding potential real masters from the fakes? What d I look for?

Thank you very much.

Based on your profile stating you are married and want to leave your husband, you have set yourself up for failure at the start---No respectable Dom will help you leave the frying pan--get your life straight YOURSELF first---get your head togther next, then decide what you have to offer a Dom--right now--I'd say it's not a sitiuation many Doms would walk into---eyes wide open or shut.

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/10/2006 11:09:01 PM

OscarHargraves

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Well, let's see......... How do you go about judging men you are dating in the Vanilla world? Observation, ask questions and use good judgement right? Now just apply that to your BDSM world. Does he meet YOUR standards for a Dom? Is he someone you can learn to trust and enjoy serving? Is he too fast? Too slow? Too mean? Too gentle? AND, most importantly, what kind of an attitude does he have? Is it one that coincides with yours? See. It's simple. Just like choosing the right Sub.

Don't worry about whether he is a 'fake' in someone else's eyes. Your eyes are the important ones and how you see him is what matters.

< Message edited by OscarHargraves -- 2/10/2006 11:10:32 PM >

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/10/2006 11:23:20 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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Wow, just checked out your profile and apparently you found someone since posting just a few hours ago?

Cin

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 1:27:15 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
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From: Newcastle, Australia
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You trust your own instincts - they really don't lie to you.

There's all manner of things in this world that I know little about, but I come equipped with a great inbuilt "bullshit detector" that lets me know when something doesn't sound or feel right. And I listen to it - that's the key. Genuine and sincere people have a knack of sounding genuine and sincere.... But some are clever (or more devious) and your own b/s detector may not sound off straight away. But same rule of thumb applies - if and when it does go off, *listen* to it.

Focus.

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 6:20:22 AM

DelRey

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Yahoo . com has a personals section

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 6:26:08 AM

MrDiscipline44

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This whole thread is just wrong. Get a grip before you lose control.

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 6:27:57 AM

fastlane

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You may not find the needle in the haystack on the first go around....Which leads to my theory of the Dom i no Factor.......you have to line up a few and watch em fall in order, before finally finding that last one standing.........and ready to take care of you.

Good luck Dear, Kevin

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 7:09:09 AM

yoursnatch

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You have to be in a place in your life where you can commit to your lifestyle choice. As far as finding your master it is like anything else a learning experiance. Trial and error, You just keep looking and don't give up and be sensible about it any one can call themselves a master. And read the message boards they are a fountain of information. Most of the people who post here really know what they are talking about and sometimes just reading thier responses can help you tell the differance between "the real ones" and the fakers.Don't agree to be just anyone's slave becauuse you crave it. Take your time and learn as much as you can

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 7:23:30 AM

Prunesquallor

Posts: 181
Joined: 10/12/2005
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quote:

a good friend of mine (a dom) told me when I first came here...that if someone tries talking about kinks in the first two weeks...to put a stop to it...or quit talking to him.

I tend to agree.

I don't. Apologies to your friend, but I think that is really stupid advice.

The whole point of meeting someone new is to find out as much as you can about them. If you find out that he is into the infliction of extreme pain and you are only interested in bondage and being tickled, then that gives you a pretty good indication that things will not work out between you.

As far as I am concerned no subject should be taboo; you should be a sponge so far as the other is concerned, whether you are a Dom or a sub.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 8:16:57 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

thats easy. You walk into a restaraunt and "accidentally" fall over a man at a table and land in the OTK position. Then the ball is in his court.

LMAO Foxglove; are you sure though that it has to be an accidental fall? Could you not just kind of make it look like that?

/grins

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 11:37:36 AM

fastlane

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quote:

LMAO Foxglove; are you sure though that it has to be an accidental fall? Could you not just kind of make it look like that?

Yeah, but what if he didn't extend his hand to pick you up?
Then, to make matters worse, your skirt is above your head and the lesbian waitress is the one that grabs a feel as she helps you to your feet.....LMAO

You crazy kids!

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 12:06:59 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

Then, to make matters worse, your skirt is above your head and the lesbian waitress is the one that grabs a feel as she helps you to your feet

::blinks:: And this is bad?

Celeste

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 4:12:45 PM

Petruchio

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quote:

You walk into a restaraunt and "accidentally" fall over a man at a table and land in the OTK position. Then the ball is in his court.

(laughing) So NOW I find out why that keeps happening to me!

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/11/2006 4:20:35 PM

wouldlike2

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
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quote:

thats easy. You walk into a restaraunt and "accidentally" fall over a man at a table and land in the OTK position. Then the ball is in his court.

... i thought the ball is always in His court?? - smile -

god damn , seems like i missed something... ok i will check my pants lol

pet

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/13/2006 10:43:31 AM

Arpig

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Ummmmm? errr....just which restaurant is it you all frequent?

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RE: How do i find a dom? - 2/13/2006 6:17:21 PM

cutesub4Him

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if you are really serious about finding a Master then go to local munches, groups that cater to the life. i think just about every city and even alot of rural towns have groups that are BDSM,D/s friendly. i belong to a couple here in fort wayne indiana and that is how Master found me..

Good luck on your search but above all stay safe

wolfscub
slave to Master Michael
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