RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT?

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RCdc -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:13:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne quote: ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr First NihilusZero: You rock man, your views are well thought out, and even when I dont fully agree I can appreciate the intelligence behind the view, secondly, what are the cone things in your pic? They're sailboats. It is part of an optical illusion that I cannot think what the name is, but it's cool. I am guessing they are incense cones, smouldered through.(Is that what you call sailboats?) Perhaps we should start a thread - guess Nihilus' pointie things.[;)] With extra points for pedency.[:)] the.dark.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:18:05 PM)
When I perved his pic, they do look like sailboats to me. ADDED: They are incense cones all right...I had to get my glasses to perv them one more. Question is...how did he keep them in shape after burning!?!?!

Asherdelampyr -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:18:40 PM)
My guess is Icecream cones though im kinda a fat bastard so I see food a lot

NihilusZero -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:23:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne quote: ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr First NihilusZero: You rock man, your views are well thought out, and even when I dont fully agree I can appreciate the intelligence behind the view, secondly, what are the cone things in your pic? They're sailboats. It is part of an optical illusion that I cannot think what the name is, but it's cool. I am guessing they are incense cones, smouldered through.(Is that what you call sailboats?) Perhaps we should start a thread - guess Nihilus' pointie things.[;)] With extra points for pedency.[:)] the.dark. extended laugh Almost tempted not to say now, just to enjoy the hilarity that would ensue. If I said the title of the image is The CinderMaker, would that help the guessing? [;)]

leadership527 -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:23:35 PM)
~FAST REPLY TO ALL~ I'd like to thank everyone for their input here (and not that I want to discourage additional discourse). This has all been very enlightening for me and I'm now going back over punishment threads trying to look at them with new eyes. It would appear that my perception of how commonly punishment is used within lifestyle relationships is pretty skewed.

NihilusZero -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:26:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne When I perved his pic, they do look like sailboats to me. ADDED: They are incense cones all right...I had to get my glasses to perv them one more. Question is...how did he keep them in shape after burning!?!?! While I quite enjoy the prospect of being perved [:D] I wonder if we may be running way off course concerning the topic of the thread...

RCdc -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:27:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne quote: ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr First NihilusZero: You rock man, your views are well thought out, and even when I dont fully agree I can appreciate the intelligence behind the view, secondly, what are the cone things in your pic? They're sailboats. It is part of an optical illusion that I cannot think what the name is, but it's cool. I am guessing they are incense cones, smouldered through.(Is that what you call sailboats?) Perhaps we should start a thread - guess Nihilus' pointie things.[;)] With extra points for pedency.[:)] the.dark. extended laugh Almost tempted not to say now, just to enjoy the hilarity that would ensue. If I said the title of the image is The CinderMaker, would that help the guessing? [;)] [:D]Do I get points? flutters lashes It doesn't feel right if we all don't get points....[;)] the.dark.

NihilusZero -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:28:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 ~FAST REPLY TO ALL~ I'd like to thank everyone for their input here (and not that I want to discourage additional discourse). This has all been very enlightening for me and I'm now going back over punishment threads trying to look at them with new eyes. It would appear that my perception of how commonly punishment is used within lifestyle relationships is pretty skewed. It's funny...when we first started talking more specifically about punishment, I got a flashback to a discussion on the boards a while ago where the topic was brought up and where I recall going into detail about it. I wonder if I can hunt it down...

Fitznicely -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:30:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne When I perved his pic, they do look like sailboats to me. ADDED: They are incense cones all right...I had to get my glasses to perv them one more. Question is...how did he keep them in shape after burning!?!?! They do keep their shape after they're burned thru....smallest puff of air and they're everywhere, tho [8\|]

CreativeDominant -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:30:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Jeff, two questions, if it is a "bother" to initiate a thread, why bother? Specifically, normally I do not "bother" because it's my impression that my worldview on the topics here is too different to have much utility to the readers. It's a lot easier to keep "on target" when I am responding to an initial thought of someone elses. In this case, I did "bother" because of the very bias you and CD below are alluding too. I'm well aware of it and I'm trying to peer through it. I figured that whether this stuff was right or wrong, I was going to learn a lot about myself and BDSM in general based on the answers... which I am. O.K., so you are aware of the bias yet...you are still equating coercion through force of will/personality/already-established boundaries as aggression. If my submissive knows that I rarely, rarely use physical punishment but does know I am not afraid to use discipline if need be and she has learned over time that a certain look or a certain smile is indicative of me feeling like she has about reached her limit with a certain behavior and she changes it, then did that happen because of a.) aggression in the present term? b. ) past physical punishment? c.) force of will? d.) knowledge of me and of the boundaries of her dynamic and what her place in that dynamic is? e.) A combination? If it is a combination in which all factors are combined, then is it what is occurring now to change her behavior important or is how we got to that point...learning, discipline, an establishment of the dynamic, possibly punishments for serious infractions, an acceptance and an embrace of the structure of our dynamic...the PAST, in other words? If it is only the past, then you can call a smile "aggression" because it may've taken harsher measures before she learned to understand what that smile or look means. But if what is most important is the end result...what she is doing today, even if it is based on the past building...and that end result occurs with no aggressive moves on my part, then it is still coercion and force of will but WITHOUT aggression.

NihilusZero -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:32:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark [:D]Do I get points? flutters lashes It doesn't feel right if we all don't get points....[;)] the.dark. Alright, alright! 30 points for everyone who guessed correctly. And 10 points for anyone guilty of "perving" me and/or my profile. [:D]

Asherdelampyr -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:32:45 PM)
Yay, I got points!

NihilusZero -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:38:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant O.K., so you are aware of the bias yet...you are still equating coercion through force of will/personality/already-established boundaries as aggression. If my submissive knows that I rarely, rarely use physical punishment but does know I am not afraid to use discipline if need be and she has learned over time that a certain look or a certain smile is indicative of me feeling like she has about reached her limit with a certain behavior and she changes it, then did that happen because of a.) aggression in the present term? b. ) past physical punishment? c.) force of will? d.) knowledge of me and of the boundaries of her dynamic and what her place in that dynamic is? e.) A combination? If it is a combination in which all factors are combined, then is it what is occurring now to change her behavior important or is how we got to that point...learning, discipline, an establishment of the dynamic, possibly punishments for serious infractions, an acceptance and an embrace of the structure of our dynamic...the PAST, in other words? If it is only the past, then you can call a smile "aggression" because it may've taken harsher measures before she learned to understand what that smile or look means. But if what is most important is the end result...what she is doing today, even if it is based on the past building...and that end result occurs with no aggressive moves on my part, then it is still coercion and force of will but WITHOUT aggression. This brings up a point I wanted to get into earlier: aggression is a method of compelling or implementing force. The thing is, it's historically (with all animals) probably the most prevalent means by which to compel...and maybe even a reason why many people claim it as a wanted/required dynamic in their own relationships...but it's not the only means of effecting force.

Fitznicely -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:44:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne quote: ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr First NihilusZero: You rock man, your views are well thought out, and even when I dont fully agree I can appreciate the intelligence behind the view, secondly, what are the cone things in your pic? They're sailboats. It is part of an optical illusion that I cannot think what the name is, but it's cool. Forced perspective, I believe... (I'm going back to the start and having a read thru all three pages now, I promise)

Asherdelampyr -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:44:53 PM)
I agree Sometimes the best way to compel is by reinforcing positive consequence.

marie2 -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:49:04 PM)
Dominance: I see it as non-existant but for someone's reception of it. Sort of like the tree in the forest that doesn't really make a sound if no one is there to hear it. As far as punishment (in the context you spoke of): When two people are genuinely interacting as dominant and submissive to one another, I don't feel there is a need for "punishment". If the threat of punishment is the motivating factor behind the submission, then I think there is either a break-down in the dynamic or it never existed to begin with...or so this would be the case for myself.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:53:35 PM)
Okay, back to topic. I have nothing to state, the arguments are good on all aspects. I just feel I am not quafilied(?) to comment on this since my experiences have been limited.

PyrotheClown -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 12:56:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne Okay, back to topic. I have nothing to state, the arguments are good on all aspects. I just feel I am not quafilied(?) to comment on this since my experiences have been limited. Hahaha, when has that stopped anybody from having an opinion lol sorry, too much of a pessimist.... or maybe just a pest

NihilusZero -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 1:01:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne Okay, back to topic. I have nothing to state, the arguments are good on all aspects. I just feel I am not quafilied(?) to comment on this since my experiences have been limited. No excuse! One of the key points here, after all, is to try and ascertain how common certain interpretations of punishment are and whether they mirror what we would conventionally presume. For instance, I'm pretty sure I've run into commentary from subs on here who would say that they need/want punishment in their dynamic as a way to keep them in line. While I don't know that anyone here yet quite espouses that take on things, it would be interesting input to get. Particularly because I don't know if it's very different from other personal quirks. Like...I can be relatively forgetful sometimes. So, having notes or friends or things that can act as reminders to bring those things back to mind works well for me. Some people are better at having a daily schedule and internal alarm clock in their heads.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Dominance? Huh? What the heck is THAT? (6/10/2009 1:59:58 PM)
Damned...I would be called out. Keep in mind that I am a switch, I will domme another switch or sub, but if I meet the right man, I will sub for him. I am into the mental aspects, sexual being secondary. When Alexis and I were together, she was my driver, my housemaid while I was working. Since my mental illness has reared it ugly head, we drifted apart so I can get the help that I need at home. She moved on to another Master without informing me. I did not mind her moving on, but after being together for several years I felt that as friends we should keep abreast of each other. When she was deserving of punishing, I withheld the activities that she liked to have done to me. Our former master used to say I was more sadistic than him. Now me, I am a sensualist...silk against the skin, satiny ropes binding my wrists, the edge of a knife tracing a pattern without drawing blood (too much [:D] ), the caress of a flogger upon my back and buttocks. I have scars from accidents on my legs and I wear them with pride. The worse punishment I had to endure...left hanging without a flogging. I usually got paddled when he wanted to do it but he used one that was not a ping-pong paddle but one from a school and I hated it (I might be fat but I have barely any flesh on my tailbone.). Since I am no longer in any relationships, I am not worried about being punished or dealing it out. There is a do me switch near me but until he shows me what he is willing to bring to the relationship, I am not dealing with him.

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