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What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie into a dom - 6/10/2009 2:01:18 AM   
londonsubdaniel


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/9/2009
Status: offline 		What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie into a dom? Is there a good convincing book or something that explains the relationship of a lifestyle sub?
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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 2:12:17 AM   
SaintSavant


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Joined: 4/25/2009
Status: offline 		Are they newbie, as in interested in fet but not very experienced? Or vanilla, as in not necesarily into kink at all?

There are the usual books that get recommended for newbies (such as Screw the Roses, always a classic) but if you are trying to get someone to join you in kink, then maybe you just need to start with a conversation, such as "hey, I don't know if you might think this weird... but this is what I am into and this is why..."

(in reply to londonsubdaniel)
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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 4:43:27 AM   
ZenDragoness


Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline 		If the person in question has not the domiant trait or at least a top tendence in them, i would see the chances for any converting tendencing toward Zero.


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(in reply to londonsubdaniel)
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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 4:46:54 AM   
DesFIP


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Status: offline 		There are lots of books out there, When Someone You Love is Kinky, Screw the Roses, Topping Book, Bottoming Book. But if he only likes kinky sex and doesn't have a desire to be in charge, you can't convert him anymore than he can convert you into vanilla. Besides, as much as you would dislike someone telling you "I love you but you aren't enough for me until you give up this weird interest" so will he dislike being told he isn't enough until he become someone else.

Try something new and novel, talk to him.

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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 6:11:29 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		daniel: I'm of the opinion that you can't learn to be dominant from a book. Get to know the person and see if they have dominant personality traits. Then just introduce them to kink. If they've got it, the rest will come naturally.


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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 6:29:03 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		You cannot convert someone who doesn't want converitng and there is no book that can teach dominance.  They can teach/show you how to tie a knot, you can attend places that help teach the basics of actions, but to dominate?  You can't teach a person that, you cannot convert them, nor convince.  Can't you just talk to him?
 
the.dark.

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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 8:01:53 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
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From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Wait. See what Happens over time.

Steel

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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 8:16:12 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		If you're in a relationship with a newbie, you may need to initiate things/make suggestions at first. I know that sounds counterproductive to them developing their dominance, but they may be hesitant about it at first, and your letting them know how much you enjoy those baby steps at first is likely to lead to them wanting more. They may only be interested in topping rather than domination, though.

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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 10:11:27 AM   
Musicmystery


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quote:

ORIGINAL: londonsubdaniel
What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie into a dom? Is there a good convincing book or something that explains the relationship of a lifestyle sub?

What would be the point of this?

But the quickest way is long experience.


(in reply to londonsubdaniel)
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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 10:20:15 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		Down in New Orleans, my former partner and I attended classes so he would know what he was getting into after confessing his switch tendancies to me. Local munches would be ideal to find out when the classes are happening or local Yahoo groups (like I did).

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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 11:15:59 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		Im confused by the question
are we talking someone who is naturally Dominant but new to kink? or just some cute guy that you want to whip you?

Not trying to be an ass here, just confused mainly because of this from your OP

[Quote] Is there a good convincing book [/Quote]

That makes me think just maybe you are trying to turn someone Dominant that may not be, which, as far as I can tell, is, if not impossible, certainly not good long-term

Please clarify

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RE: What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie int... - 6/10/2009 11:59:18 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: londonsubdaniel

What is the best way to convert a fetish newbie into a dom? Is there a good convincing book or something that explains the relationship of a lifestyle sub?


So is this some hottie that you want to Dominate YOU?  You've gotten some great advice here---ever hear the phrase you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear? The same hold true here.

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