RE: How do you like to be approached? (Full Version)

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SassySarijane -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/10/2009 7:29:46 PM)

Definitely approach me as a person. I'd rather get to know the person first and them me before taking it further.



EmelineRose -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/10/2009 8:00:40 PM)

I like him to be unpresumptuous.  As far as I am concerned D/s is a consensual relationship between individuals, therefore until that takes place he is nothing but your peer and equal.  I think assuming otherwise (from either side) is simply bad manners.



PyrotheClown -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/10/2009 8:33:04 PM)

Screw how, I wanna know where...

Are you gals (cause that's who I'm look'n to approach*)
more receptive when we (perspective what evers) approach you online(here, or do you gals prefer to meet on another kind of site), at munches, randomly while purchasing sport beverages...?



(*sorry guys, I know I'm sexy, but I only swing that way in prison....Still get horny every time I hear it rain...lol)



breatheasone -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/10/2009 8:40:53 PM)

i need to be approached  like you would any other woman you are considering having a relationship with.



greeneyedreamer -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/10/2009 8:52:28 PM)

I like to be approached like I am a wonderful, kind human being who deserves to be treated as such. I like a dom who will talk to me. Not order me around to make himself feel BIG... I like quiet, soft strength that will allow me to follow his lead and not feel like I am a fool. Oh so much more... but I'll keep it brief! giggles



RealSub58 -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/10/2009 9:37:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

So I am looking for a little insight into the submissive mind.

When you are approached by a Dominant how do you perfer that approach to be?
I had some strange expectations in the beginning.  I went through some rough waters as well ~ esp with the dom whose style was forceful and yet I was strangely attracted somehow.

I had NO expectations, only my rule,  when Sir sneaked into my perimeter several years ago.  I began a blog with my thoughts and feelings.  One man kept responding in a way that nudged me and I finally noticed him.  I changed my profile just slightly enough to see if he caught the message and he did.  I placed my email address into the last paragraph of my profile and he was the only one who read enough to spot it.  THAT impressed me. 

I have seen some Dom's do the Obey Me Bit and I have seen some subs go for that, where others go with softer tactics.

My Question to all the s-types on the board is how do you perfer to be approached by a Dominant Party.

What I do not like is them trying to play with words while I see intent  like a big red barn and they deny.  Oh well !

And if you you are into Poly Style Living what is your perfered approach to being contacted when there is an Existing submissive already in the house?
I am a one man woman. 
Steel



tolovetolaugh -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/10/2009 10:04:47 PM)

Going to go with the consensus here that "ON your knees BITCH" is not a good oppener.
Personally am not drawn to cmails that are on a very serious note either... if it shows a sense of humor in the reading I get a better vibe off of it... since anyone who is going to deal with me is going to need one.
Personalize it- it makes me feel like you you read through and want to know more, rather then having just seen a pretty picture and sent your copy/paste. Then went onto the next pretty picture. And copy/paste.

Not to short, not to long- if it reminds me of an essay my eyes sometimes will glaze over and I wont read it so carefully.
Just a few lines or only one or two paragraphs is about right.

Also before you cmail.. A good idea is to read enough of their profile to make sure you arn't missing anything you should be adding. Some have a word they want in it. Or like a picture, or in my case if you live far away... how the hell we would meet in a reasonable amount of time. Especially since I don't do long distance, so people who live far away and don't give one get deleted out of hand.

Be tempting with a hint of darkness.



ChasingOblivion -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/10/2009 11:20:40 PM)

I like to be approached like any other person. I am submissive, but that's not ALL I am. I don't care if a person is Dominant or not. Until I choose to submit to someone, they're just another human being.



KneelforAnne -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/11/2009 12:05:30 AM)

~FR~

I want to be approached like a regular person that they are trying to get to know. Start talking to me like you met me in a coffee shop.

Regular conversation, leading to flirting and then so on.

Flirting too much right off the bat (coming on too strong), telling me I'm beautiful right away--touching too much right away!!... all of those things scream needy/sleazy/creepy to me.

Not that I want to talk to someone that's stonefaced and sullen, but there is a middle ground.

~

Honestly, I think I want a slow seduction. Take the time to get into my head...know what it takes to make me yours... Once I'm to that point...then there isn't much I won't do for you.





LadyPact -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/11/2009 12:08:12 AM)

Smile, and say hello.



VelvetCruelty -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/11/2009 12:28:04 AM)

Naked with a bow on your fancy parts [sm=yahoo.gif]



DesFIP -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/11/2009 6:41:06 AM)

I'm a human being, address me exactly as you would if we met at a cocktail party. You don't have the right to give me orders yet.

As far as poly goes; the only offer I ever got was some guy who after I mentioned a small problem The Man and I were having sent me some email stating the problem was proof The Man is a fake and I would have zero problems if I abandoned my children to serve his wife and him. Yeah right, like anybody who would suggest that is someone I could respect. This email also proved he didn't bother to read my profile since my main essay there was on being a responsible parent and that if you aren't, you don't know your kids' best friends, if they need new shoes, don't cheer their games, etc then don't approach me. Because this is how I judge people, if they are teaching their children to be moral people, they have to be moral themselves.

Last night I took the teen out for sushi, the credit card slip was for ten dollars less than the scrawl on the handwritten bill. So I went and told them about the mistake, waited while the owner came out from the kitchen to do the refund, then rebilled it. If I was thinking I would just have handed them the ten in my purse. The importamt thing is that I did the right thing and the teen knew I would. I didn't not mention their mistake, I complained to him about what a pain correcting it would be while I went up to the desk.



breatheasone -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/11/2009 1:13:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VelvetCruelty

Naked with a bow on your fancy parts [sm=yahoo.gif]

Ok, i've just revised my answer...(see i AM open minded!)



WestBaySlave -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/11/2009 3:26:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

My Question to all the s-types on the board is how do you perfer to be approached by a Dominant Party.


As they would anyone else they're meeting for the first time, really. Polite, reasonable and clear about what your looking for are all huge pluses.

It may work for others, but I find the "drill-sergeant" approach extremely off-putting.



heartcream -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/11/2009 6:48:09 PM)

I like when someone simply talks to me. I dont like it if they act like they know me already. Be real, that is the best for me, be yourself.



SlaveGirlNihel -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/11/2009 8:26:39 PM)

i would prefer if a Dom came to me that He treated me like a human being with feelings and not do the whole your a slave so get on your feet a worship me. Thats a HUGE turn off for me when i dont know the person. They should want to get to know me as a person first a slave second. 



andreasubmissive -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/12/2009 7:29:19 AM)

personally the best way for me is just up front, friendly and honest...im not interested in anyone who cant hold a conversation or act like a decent person, but of course any Dom/me should be confidant and sure of what they want when approaching a potential submissive...

as for poly, if i were to consider that it'd only be if first contact was made by the sub, giving first hand details on conditions within the household



MMagic -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/12/2009 8:14:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Because I am looking for a loving relationship that encompasses D/s, I don't respond to the "obey me now" approach at all.  I want someone to approach me in a friendly, want to get to know each other way.  If I think someone is an asshole as a person, the rest doesn't even matter.


I love the seduction/control bit.  Not just flat out obey me.



TheOldMan -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/12/2009 11:47:10 AM)

Everything folks have said is all well and good.  Personally I approach with the idea that we'll acknowledge a mutual interest and then back off to a more nilla stance and get to know each other. I am concerned with her security and not invading her "safe space"  to quickly.
HOWEVER
Most women I meet I meet in RL, almost NEVER online.  When flirting I almost always tinge it with some sort of D/S reference and my radar seems well tuned.
The problem is I can't tell you how many subs I've met who quickly dumped me and moved on to someone else and later told me I wasn't "Dom Enough"  at our first meeting.   One told me I should have decided what she was going to eat at lunch, another that I should have given her "permission" to sit down "or something like that.  Still another was disappointed because I declined to tell her exacly hw to dress for when we had coffee. 
So it seems to me, that all too often, what women state they want , and what they really want,  are again, two different things.
Just an Old Fa*ts $.02




DavanKael -> RE: How do you like to be approached? (6/12/2009 3:50:27 PM)

I prefer to be approached as a real person by a real person.  Presumptions about dynamics are generally off-putting while realizing what feels natural to each in terms of interaction and if they're in sync, that's a wonderful thing.  Sooooooo, genuine, not stilted or put-on. 
  Davan



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