pixelslave
Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: RuslanILudmilla
A couple of years ago, when my mistress/gf and I were sessioning she was able to peg me up to the very end of the strap-on.After a small break from strap-on play, we tried it again, but it didn't go so far. Since then, I have problems taking anything more than one, maximum two fingers. I have also tried wearing a butt-plug, but only the smallest will do, and even then it's really uncomfortable. Anything bigger and it's just not going there or is pushed straight out.
Being relaxed and using lots of lube are your two best friends. If the smallest butt plug is uncomfortable, then your muscles are going to tense up and that's not going to help the situation. You need to be mentally and physically relaxed if you're going to have any kind of success in enjoying anal activity. There are just too many nerve endings in the area that can bring both pleasure and pain depending on the circumstances.
With this kind of activity, going slow and gentle is going to be the best approach. If anything becomes uncomfortable, you need to back off, let the muscles relax, then try again. Repeat the process until you can handle more and the muscles are able to relax. You may be carrying around more stress in general today than you were two years ago and guess where you're likely holding it? That's right, in your anal sphincter muscles which is very common. That's where the term "tight ass" originated and why so many people have hemmoroids.
Pay attention to your body throughout the day and check-in to see if your anal muscles are feeling tense. If they are, take some deep breaths and try to relax them. Ditto during play. Breathing out deeply can help relax them especially when you're trying to accept something a bit larger. Pain will always cause them to tighten up and will mean you'll need to back off until it subsides before you try again.
quote:
Both of us are kind of frustrated with this situation. We both really want to make it work as it is an incredibly hot idea(and it's worked in the past)! It has become one of those dead moments when we are sessioning which puts a dampener on everything; so much so that we don't do it anymore. Other than this nuance, our S&M life is amazing. This is the missing piece in the jigsaw.
Any suggestions?
Sounds like because this is a "sticking point" for the two of you, there's added pressure surrounding this that causes some "performance anxiety" and makes you more tense when you try to go down this path. I suggest you and your partner engage in anal exploration together with no expectation of strap-on play to remove some of that pressure until you both feel you're ready for it. Focus on enjoying the sensations from the play regardless of how many fingers or the size of the insertable that's being used.
You may also want to ask your Mistress/gf for permission to explore anal play on your own to help you discover for yourself what helps you relax and expand yourself so that you're ready for more extensive play with her. That's something the two of you need to decide together. You may also want to invest in a "sure shot or shower shot" to regularly clean yourself quickly out in preparation for this kind of play in case fear of fecal matter is one of the problems that's inhibiting you. Proper preparation for play greatly enhances it as does having the right kind of lube (Boy Butter is good) and plenty of it. BTW, having "lube shooters" or "injectors/applictors" can be really helpful in the latter regard to get you started by injecting the lube into your nether regions in advance for you.
One web site that's admittedly carries things a bit to the extreme, but is still very helpful for someone wanting to learn to expand themselves for greater enjoyment of of anal play that I feel comfortable recommending is JLube Jack's Web Site (I know the author/owner). He has lots of tips on the subject, along with information on anatomy of the rectum, including details on the rectum, the sigmoid and the descending colon; all things you'll ultimately want to know about for this kind of play; especially if you ever want to take a very large strap-on or perhaps get into fisting.
I hope you find this post helpful and that it help gets you and your Mistress back on your way to enjoying strap-on play again; something which can be very intimate between a Domme and her sub. The activity shouldn't be painful and in my experience, with the large bundle of nerves in the area, is something that's very pleasurable for a man to enjoy with the right partner. 
- pixel
_____________________________
Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!
|
Strap-ons - Need Help - 
Profile
love strapon play and being fisted to ever give it up 
RE: Strap-ons - Need Help - 
The annoying thing is that when we are sessioning, as with our sex life, it gets better and better each time. We have been together for five years, playing and seeing each other etc. and it seems to get better and better. Both of us agree that emotionally we are more into each other than earlier. Although some of the passion is less virulent, it has matured into a deeper more relaxed understanding and appreciation of one another. With BDSM every time we play I get more and more turned on and want do anything (as you say in your post) and yet, no matter how much we try, as soon as we touch it, its like a brick wall
But in retrospect you are right that maybe we just have to try and work on relaxing me. 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread