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RE: when it's over.... - 6/23/2009 10:12:21 AM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

Hi Michelle

i think you will be just fine. You have a wicked sense of humor, a healthy look on things - and it seems just writing about it - helped you to get it out of your system, so to speak.

You go, girl!!

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Post #: 21

RE: when it's over.... - 6/23/2009 12:40:00 PM

DagnyT

Posts: 43
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline

Hi, Michelle

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

you know this wasn't just "cyber" for me.

... You always had to fill in the blanks, you must understand and accept that something like 60 to 70% of human communication is non-verbal. For you to be in what you call a relationship, your mind must fill in the 60 to 70% of communication with "him" you're not getting.

And, amazingly, people do. When deprived of the normal input of another human, people will make it up in their minds. This happens even to people in solitary confinement, who make up 98% on the basis of brief interactions with guards. And that is what you've been doing....

I think these are excellent points and worth singling out.

Think about how people react to celebrities. Even a brief encounter takes on significance: the non-famous person will remember every detail and feel a little extra "something" whenever the celebrity's name and/or likeness comes up, they will repeat the story of their encounter to everyone whereas the celebrity probably forgot about the non-famous person a minute after they crossed paths. And for some less stable people, that brief encounter grows to encompass a relationship that never existed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

...It was just and only cyber, and the sooner you can convince yourself of this, the better it is. For as long as you say "you know this wasn't just "cyber" for me", you are heading for the next one.

Again, agreed. It was a cyber relationship- no qualifier- that's what it was: that does not make what you felt any less intense but that is the reality and it would be best, in my opinion, not to try to convince yourself it was more special or more meaningful than anyone else's cyber relationship.

Glad you're moving on. When you stop doing things in reaction to this past relationship you'll know you're fully over it :).

Cheers,
Dagny

(in reply to antipode)

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Post #: 22

RE: when it's over.... - 6/23/2009 3:20:44 PM

KateyCaine

Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009
Status: offline

michele sweetie,

It's like any separation, there is a grieving period, a time of denial, of feeling lost, and how long that period lasts is totally up to the person - there is no set time limit on mourning the loss of a relationship this emotionally intense.

i am sending you big furry hugs from me and my 4 cats :)

k

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Post #: 23