Dilemma regarding 24/7 (Full Version)

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confineme971 -> Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/16/2009 7:21:08 AM)

...being on the verge to become a full 24/7 slave (not a sub, but a real slave) to a certain Lady, although my mind is probably already set, i would like to know if there are such slaves living in a such arrangement...and also if you could share some of your experience here.

thx



DesFIP -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/16/2009 8:47:26 AM)

What do you mean by a real 24/7 slave? Are you allowed to dress and go cut the grass? Will you work? Live together? Visit family together?

I live with him 24/7. Some days it seems as though all I do is laundry. Sigh! Other days I have time available and go spend it at Barnes & Noble. I trail along as he runs errands at the hardware store, etc. I do most of the cooking and cleaning, he mans the grill.



confineme971 -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/16/2009 9:08:29 AM)

I have no practical experience in living with someone as a slave or sub...so there are many thing I just do not know and that is why I posted this question here...
It seems to me that your status is more of a submissive partner then of a slave...but I might be wrong.
The way I/we see it, to become Her slave I will give up on all of my rights that any free individual has and become Her property...to do with me as She pleases. I will not work but that is how my situation is as I do not have to. Yes, we will live together but not as partners...as an Owner and Her slave....the rest, I don't know. Cooking, cleaning, cutting the grass...of course it will be my duties.

Her benefit in life shall become sole purpose of my existance.

Anyone else in such position?

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

What do you mean by a real 24/7 slave? Are you allowed to dress and go cut the grass? Will you work? Live together? Visit family together?

I live with him 24/7. Some days it seems as though all I do is laundry. Sigh! Other days I have time available and go spend it at Barnes & Noble. I trail along as he runs errands at the hardware store, etc. I do most of the cooking and cleaning, he mans the grill.




Lockit -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/16/2009 9:12:22 AM)

If there are not real slaves living 24/7, then why are you thinking you are going to that place?  If there isn't such a thing... then it would be a fantasy.  You either believe there are slaves living this way or it is a fantasy to you.

After reading your profile, I see that you wish to be confined and degraded and a full time slave.  Are there people that live this way?  I don't know, you really don't hear from them if they are confined at all times.  Confined would mean.. not here... not anywhere but confined where they are confined.  Caged... or confined for periods of time, sure... that happens.  But few wish to support someone and protect them from the big bad world that everyone must deal with as an adult and human being.

Fantasy or real... only you and your dominant can decide. 



confineme971 -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/16/2009 9:34:01 AM)

Probably there are people living that way but perhaps not by their own will. We read about it in the papers recently on several ocassions.
But that is not what I was talking about and yes, You are absolutely right to doubt my belief...lets just say that I do not believe and that I ask these questions to see if it is possible that that is something I want. And again, You are right...it is my fantstsy still because I am not living it, yet.
Also, to my big surprise, there actually is one Woman that wants the same thing. And this is not just about me deciding anything; I wondered if someone lived or is living this way.

But again, You are right....if someone is, he wouldn't be able to reply so my post is actually useless and futile.

Thx


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

If there are not real slaves living 24/7, then why are you thinking you are going to that place?  If there isn't such a thing... then it would be a fantasy.  You either believe there are slaves living this way or it is a fantasy to you.

After reading your profile, I see that you wish to be confined and degraded and a full time slave.  Are there people that live this way?  I don't know, you really don't hear from them if they are confined at all times.  Confined would mean.. not here... not anywhere but confined where they are confined.  Caged... or confined for periods of time, sure... that happens.  But few wish to support someone and protect them from the big bad world that everyone must deal with as an adult and human being.

Fantasy or real... only you and your dominant can decide. 




pyroaquatic -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/16/2009 1:28:29 PM)

To become internally enslaved to someone. you could never imagine leaving the Dominant or disobeying Them. if you are in an abusive relationship however even after you leave it still feels like you are at fault. Hopefully your Mistress is a Good, Just, Kind, and Experienced One.

Good luck. You will be transformed.



DarkSteven -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/16/2009 5:22:52 PM)

Instead of becoming a cage 24/7 slave for your first M/s relationship, how about entering it gradually, as a submissive, and then working into confinement?



DesFIP -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/16/2009 5:27:38 PM)

I refer to us as partners because we are in this together, yoked together to achieve the same goal. We are not in an adversarial relationship. As far as being caged, naked, all the time? Makes it hard to accomplish anything like going to the grocery store, cooking, cleaning, gardening.

And since this has just been a fantasy of yours, have you considered how you will feel if you are never given down time? If you are always overstressed, sleep deprived, expected to perform flawlessly when ill? Not to mention visiting elderly relatives or attending family functions? How do you propose to support yourself if she gets hit by a bus?



confineme971 -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 1:58:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

To become internally enslaved to someone. you could never imagine leaving the Dominant or disobeying Them. if you are in an abusive relationship however even after you leave it still feels like you are at fault. Hopefully your Mistress is a Good, Just, Kind, and Experienced One.

Good luck. You will be transformed.



Thank you....



confineme971 -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 2:01:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Instead of becoming a cage 24/7 slave for your first M/s relationship, how about entering it gradually, as a submissive, and then working into confinement?


That is the plan actually...gradually and step by step...

Also, if any of you are imagining someone locked up naked, in a cage ian a basement....that's not going to happen as something permanent...



confineme971 -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 5:32:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I refer to us as partners because we are in this together, yoked together to achieve the same goal. We are not in an adversarial relationship. As far as being caged, naked, all the time? Makes it hard to accomplish anything like going to the grocery store, cooking, cleaning, gardening.

And since this has just been a fantasy of yours, have you considered how you will feel if you are never given down time? If you are always overstressed, sleep deprived, expected to perform flawlessly when ill? Not to mention visiting elderly relatives or attending family functions? How do you propose to support yourself if she gets hit by a bus?


I do not concern myself about stress and sleep; it is just the way I am and the way my mind is set about this. I am quite sure tha my Owner will know how to keep Her slave in shape so I can perform in a suitable manner.

Regarding family/friends issue, we both are in a such situation that this does not present a problem for either of us.

Finally, possible future without Her...well, that is something we will ensure with a certain fund and this was actually Her idea on which She insisted.



beargonewild -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 6:00:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: confineme971

I have no practical experience in living with someone as a slave or sub...so there are many thing I just do not know and that is why I posted this question here...
It seems to me that your status is more of a submissive partner then of a slave...but I might be wrong.
The way I/we see it, to become Her slave I will give up on all of my rights that any free individual has and become Her property...to do with me as She pleases. I will not work but that is how my situation is as I do not have to. Yes, we will live together but not as partners...as an Owner and Her slave....the rest, I don't know. Cooking, cleaning, cutting the grass...of course it will be my duties.

Her benefit in life shall become sole purpose of my existance.

Anyone else in such position?



Hmmm...that almost sounds like the M/s dynamic I entered into a couple years ago! So in a similar way, yes I was living what you are on the verge of doing. In my case, my time was micromanaged from the time I woke up in the morning until I went to sleep at night. I was given small blocks of time for myself yet that was managed as my former master dictated the options I had for my spare time. The one thing which I learned was the reality of living as a 24/7 slave to another is more intense than what you will perceive it'll be.



olena -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 7:29:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

To become internally enslaved to someone. you could never imagine leaving the Dominant or disobeying Them. if you are in an abusive relationship however even after you leave it still feels like you are at fault. Hopefully your Mistress is a Good, Just, Kind, and Experienced One.

Good luck. You will be transformed.



This is very nice except I disagree with the term transformed.

You will not be transformed but what is in you will be enhanced/brought out. If the situation is a good situation this will make you happier and if it is not you will struggle. In the end all relationships are about getting our needs taken care of. All the lovely theories of what a slave should be like and need are just that theories and often made up based on convenience and wishful thinking.

But becoming property to another is more about mindset then a list of things to do and done to you. It is this acceptance and growing need to accept with zealot desire and need to obey and please that one finds themselves contented. But the process of getting there requires your owner to give you what you need as well otherwise it will be just fantasy blown up in your face.




pyroaquatic -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 8:36:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: olena
the process of getting there requires your owner to give you what you need as well otherwise it will be just fantasy blown up in your face.


very true...

transformed may not be the term you prefer but there definitely is a major change.

in hindsight i should of waited six months to a year before going into a 24/7 relationship. in another post on another topic someone called my former Dominant a dumbass for scaring my face which went against what I wanted. Yes there was communication and no there was not a contract. i was completely in the mindset. Her mind was... somewhere else. Definitely not interested in enhancing my being.

well I was just as much as a dumbass for going along with it. but you live and learn and you keep your eyes open the next time around. Now I know what NOT to look for.



leadership527 -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 9:18:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: confineme971
I have no practical experience in living with someone as a slave or sub...so there are many thing I just do not know and that is why I posted this question here...

And I feel compelled to point out that you therefor cannot have any idea of whether or not you want to be a slave. Seriously. If you cannot describe it and haven't lived it, how can you know you want to be it? What you DO have is an active imagination and a solid fantasy life. That is great (no trust me, I lack those things and wish I didn't). But it should be obvious that reality does not equal fantasy.

quote:

yada yada... serve serve... yada yada... core of my being... yada yada...Her benefit in life shall become sole purpose of my existance.

*sound of screaching tires* OK, what works for others is, I suppose, their business. But I am here to tell you that I personally wanted a HUMAN slave. You know... like other humans but belonging to me. So "like other humans" would typically encompass a wide variety of interests, wants, needs, desires, fears, concerns, hopes an dreams." What you're talking about sounds more like the character in a BDSM porn movie.

quote:


Anyone else in such position?
In a word, "no" (just for once, let's ignore the .00000000001% for whom this is "yes"). Carol is highly motivated to please me and it is, in fact, a fulcrum of her life with me. But she is still an artist, a woodworker, a landscaper, and a dozen other things. In other words, she is human. I'm perfectly fine with the description, "A submissive partner without any particular boundaries or limits on that submission." What you are describing as a "slave" would be utterly useless to me.



DesFIP -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 10:08:40 AM)

quote:

"A submissive partner without any particular boundaries or limits on that submission."


The only change I would make in that is particular boundaries or limits that negatively impact the dominant. Because obviously me having hay fever is a boundary, but as we don't grow hay it doesn't impact him at all. If he was a hay farmer, it would. As it is, I close the windows when the farmer at the end of the road cuts his. It's a limit for me, but doesn't effect him at all.

If in fact he was unaware that he was allergic to hay also, and discovered that me closing the car window and turning on the ac when haying is going on was helpful to him, then my limit would be a good thing for him and soon be his limit also.

Sorry Jeff, feeling persnickety today.



softness -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 10:08:59 AM)

I live " real 24/7" though I am only with Sir in person at the weekends.
This means that 24/7/365 I am living and behaving in the way Sir expects me to, doing everything possible to behave with integrity towards my position as His collared submissive. I actually find that considerably harder than the service I perform for Him when we are together. For me it is easy to live up to the collar I wear when we are together ... mid week, when I am lonely, and He seems every so far away is when it becomes a struggle for me.

What to expect as a 24/7 live in ..... ? .... I can't answer that, it depends totally on the nature and negotiations of your individual dynamic.



leadership527 -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 10:44:49 AM)

quote:

Des modified my statement by saying:
particular boundaries or limits that negatively impact the dominant

Your viewpoint, is of course, yours Des. At first I was tempted to agree with this but I realized that I shouldn't. In my head, the boundary of "ownership" and "slave" is very clear.... there are no limits. She may, of course, choose to stop being mine whenever she wishes at which point we go back to... something not quite husband and wife I guess. But as long as she wears my collar, I'm pretty clear on what I think about any limits. Yes, I expect Carol to go sleep with my friends [or insert other hard to deal with command here]. The fact that I don't want her to do so and therefor don't issue her such commands is not relevant to me. There are lots of other things like that... things that I really cannot imagine myself ever wanting to command her to do. But my expectation is that she would do any or all of them should I command. Anything else and she is not my definition of "mine" (call that slave, sub, whatever).

Truthfully though, my general opinion is that if a couple is even talking about limits and boundaries, then they're not master/slave. It's kind of like that old joke about "if you have to ask, you can't afford it." In this case, it becomes, "If you have to ask, you don't have the trust to do it yet."

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If in fact he was unaware that he was allergic to hay also, and discovered that me closing the car window and turning on the ac when haying is going on was helpful to him, then my limit would be a good thing for him and soon be his limit also.

I find this example specious. So is it a boundary that Carol refuses to ignore gravity and suddenly fly off the face of the planet? I call things like allergies "facts" not limits or boundaries. But I'd like to be very clear here... hayfever or not, if I told carol to go roll in the hay field, I'd expect her to do it and do it thoroughly. I would also expect to have to deal with a wide variety of negative repercussions from that command.

quote:

Des threw down the gaunlet by saying:
Sorry Jeff, feeling persnickety today.

and right back at ya missy :)



sleazybutterfly -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 11:14:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

What do you mean by a real 24/7 slave? Are you allowed to dress and go cut the grass? Will you work? Live together? Visit family together?

I live with him 24/7. Some days it seems as though all I do is laundry. Sigh! Other days I have time available and go spend it at Barnes & Noble. I trail along as he runs errands at the hardware store, etc. I do most of the cooking and cleaning, he mans the grill.


Ha..we could be sisters.  I usually do the grilling though[&:]

Life 24/7 is not all games, scening, or being chained up someplace.  It's about living a real life, functioning, and taking care of those lil details that allow us to exist.

I would love to live in a movie, but until that happens...I will go about finishing the laundry before I leave for class tonight..ho-hum



pyroaquatic -> RE: Dilemma regarding 24/7 (6/17/2009 11:16:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

But my expectation is that she would do any or all of them should I command. Anything else and she is not my definition of "mine" (call that slave, sub, whatever).

But I'd like to be very clear here... hayfever or not, if I told carol to go roll in the hay field, I'd expect her to do it and do it thoroughly. I would also expect to have to deal with a wide variety of negative repercussions from that command.



Along the same lines... You are a Retainer and you told a samurai to rake leaves on a specific day. Even if there was a windstorm the samurai would still attempt to rake the leaves. I do not know how successful the samurai would be but it would be done. eventually.

The word samurai means "to serve".

My question however.... if the samurai becomes injured by a tree branch who is at fault? The samurai for not dodging the tree branch or the Retainer for not telling the samurai to not rake leaves?

okay... i guess i will answer my own question because it popped up....

they both would be at fault. understanding that windstorms are dangerous there is the possibility of the samurai not being able to serve the retainer the best way possible. Both parties are responsible in my opinion. They would have to communicate the risks of raking that day to each other.

egad my brain! there are my final two cents. now I am broke.



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