excuse it if basic...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

excuse it if basic...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> excuse it if basic...

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 8:45:39 AM

swimpecs

Posts: 12
Joined: 6/6/2009
From: UK
Status: offline

Hello,
please excuse this is it sounds basic, but going beyond the theoretical aspects of slave endurance vs. sense of power over him, would like to ask Mistresses: when it comes to S&M play, how do you prefer the slave's behaviour in terms of reactions/feedback?
I would guess two major preferences exist (?): those who like slave to be visibly/audibly reacting - and those who prefer slave to exhibit maximum self-restraint with very little visible/audible feedback to pain.
As I'm not purely masochistic, but pain is important to me as a sign that Mistress has total control over me, would wonder what might be usually seen as a weakness of the slave... or possibly, does it actually spice up play if slave is allowed to give feedback?
Of course, I realise that everyone is different- just that I find myself unable to control my reactions to certain things while with other stimulents I can control myself much easier if that is demanded.
If setup is such that for extra sense of power over the slave, latter has to control himself completely, how would one train for that? ... but I guess it's an entirely separate topic/question.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 9:06:42 AM

LadyLou

Posts: 110
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

I don't see reacting to pain as a weakness at all. But, yeah, I like my sub to react, it feeds me. Even watching the conflict of a sub trying to stifle the pain and his reaction to it is fulfilling – I watch my subs face intently when I play with him. I would get very bored very quickly if there was just blankness. In actual fact, on an irrational-emotional level, I would find it very selfish of the sub not to react lol. I desire that reaction to spur me on.

Their are plenty of women who like their subs to react, just find those ones who are compatible with you

(in reply to swimpecs)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 9:10:16 AM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

I'm all for reaction myself - it is valuable feedback. If it gets too noisy..well - this would be why gags were created.

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to LadyLou)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 9:13:01 AM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLou
– I watch my subs face intently when I play with him. I would get very bored very quickly if there was just blankness. In actual fact, on an irrational-emotional level, I would find it very selfish of the sub not to react lol. I desire that reaction to spur me on.

Agreed. No reaction, or very little reaction, gets boring fast if that's all there ever is.

I prefer my victims to be sensitive. That includes gasping, moaning, whining, whimpering, and all those other sexy noises that can come out of a mans throat. If he wriggles around or arches from the pain, even better.
I downloaded a promo video for MenInPain.com and got so turned on hearing them scream and groan while being beaten I had to turn it off before I attacked my boy.

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to LadyLou)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 9:33:25 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I want a reaction, but a natual one. I am not real sadistic and don't do a lot of things that others around here do, but when it comes to sensual or painful things, I want a reaction! One of my first questions to someone I am considering is about how sensitive he is. If I want to sensually or painfully play with a nipple, I want him reactive! I don't want him laying there and taking it with no sound or response. If that is the case, I might as well put nipple clamps on my pillow and put the paddle to it. It holds about that much excitement for me. Ahhh... why bother?

I don't need theatric's, but I do need natural reactions. That is when we both can feed off one another and makes it all work. I've had the silent types... and breaking that silence becomes my goal! I don't want someone just taking it... they need to give something back. I don't care if it is a sound, expression or phyiscal reaction, I need something!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 9:47:23 AM

swimpecs

Posts: 12
Joined: 6/6/2009
From: UK
Status: offline

Many thanks - very good points, I think theatrics make it more... theatrical :-) , artificial. For me at least it would feel as if it's just some superficial exaggerated 'feedback', would rather show accurate level of pleasure/discomfort so that Mistress can judge where I am in terms of my endurance scale.
Nice to know that yes, a submissive is not expected to be totally passive - I alwasy thought that kind-of limits the whole thing, can't feed on each other.

(in reply to Lockit)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 11:23:37 AM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

I tune into the overall condition of my masochists anyway, especially none-verbal communication, sweat, breath, eyes.

The voicebox is only one facet of that.

I prefer natural reactions, so aslong as it is real, my sadism will flow.

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to swimpecs)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 12:46:29 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'd have been rather surprised if you had received any responses from folks who were going to say that they *don't* want some kind of feedback from who they are playing with. Who wants someone who is as responsive as a dead fish?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MistressRouge)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 1:16:12 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

A dead fish wants a dead fish.... joking aside...
ahem.

So what was one of the highest pain tolerances that any of the Dommes on this site have encountered. Was there any reason for it (ie past abuse, genetics, mind over matter....?)
if so how did you counter it? Did it take a different implement... harder strokes? Blindfolding them?
After the sub was pushed did they reach subspace? Did they begin reacting more to later lashes? Were they more sensitive later?

So many questions...

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 1:19:04 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Your questions might be better answered if they are put up in a thread created for the topic. Most likely, folks won't want to hijack this thread, or will miss them if they have already answered the original.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: excuse it if basic... - 6/17/2009 11:49:55 PM

onlyfreelycaged

Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

as a top, I don't enjoy inflicting pain.. but as a bottom, I find that not reacting results in more pain, espically if I hold my breath. I've found that that gest even more pain.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 11