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attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/17/2009 1:34:15 PM

lighthearted

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I think, for the most part, women tend to judge each other more harshly than men judge each other, or even more harshly than men judge women.

for the women here who are bisexual, do you find that's true when meeting women for potential play/relationships? do you find more women attractive because you are less critical of their face/body/hair, or is it the opposite?

just looking for some opinions. thanks.

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"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/17/2009 1:46:02 PM

Lashra

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quote:

for the women here who are bisexual, do you find that's true when meeting women for potential play/relationships? do you find more women attractive because you are less critical of their face/body/hair, or is it the opposite?

I rarely judge anyone harshly and that it is probably because I do not view most women as "competition". Women have been taught from a very young age to view their peers as competition for a husband, therefore many tend to be very critical of others.

I tend to appreciate a beautiful woman but even more so if she is intelligent as well. Those two combined, I find to be a very sexy mix. The only women I find unattractive are the ones who are ugly on the inside. One example are the ones who believe that outer beauty gives them the right to treat other people as if they are beneath them. To me that kills any attractiveness she may have.

~Lashra

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RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/17/2009 2:14:44 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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I judge people equally if you look ugly to me you look ugly to me man or women, all though the thought ewww that women looks like a dude is more of an insult than that dude looks like a dude I will admit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

I think, for the most part, women tend to judge each other more harshly than men judge each other, or even more harshly than men judge women.

for the women here who are bisexual, do you find that's true when meeting women for potential play/relationships? do you find more women attractive because you are less critical of their face/body/hair, or is it the opposite?

just looking for some opinions. thanks.

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 3

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/17/2009 2:20:01 PM

softness

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From: Leeds, UK
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I have peculiar taste in looks. People's energy is what attracts me physically ... and that energy has come from people that many would think "eugh! ... girl are you blind!" it has also come from people who are knee weakeningly attractive in a conventional sense.

There is a girl who lives locally to me ... and she is by no means attractive in a physical sense ... I'm sure if I had only ever seen a picture of her I wouldn't have looked twice. I have never spoken to her and only know her by community proximity. There is however something delicious about her that makes me want to drag her home and do just the *meanest* things to her. I shall continue to satisfy myself with making her blush when I see her in our local.

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RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/17/2009 3:55:20 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

for the women here who are bisexual, do you find that's true when meeting women for potential play/relationships? do you find more women attractive because you are less critical of their face/body/hair, or is it the opposite?

I'm 50.50 or as close to it as not to matter, and, in general, I find that I'm equally picky (ummm... let's make that -discerning-... it doesn't sound like I'm quite so much of an ass

) regardless of gender.

SR (companion of 10 years) who is heteroflexible, is -more- critical of a female's appearance than that of males (which isn't saying much, since she's damned picky... ummm... discerning... period.) But that makes sense, since she's less likely to be attracted to females in the first place, so you really have to wow her.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 6/17/2009 3:57:53 PM >

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Post #: 5

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/17/2009 6:40:50 PM

NightTigress

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I know my Master is a lot better at just picking out the pretty ones, I tend to get hung up on there personality even if we are just driving by. As for actually finding someone to date, I really do not know

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Post #: 6

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/17/2009 6:57:59 PM

Vendaval

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

I think, for the most part, women tend to judge each other more harshly than men judge each other, or even more harshly than men judge women.

I find that to be very true in most circumstances. It is often remarked that women dress for each other, not for men.

for the women here who are bisexual, do you find that's true when meeting women for potential play/relationships? do you find more women attractive because you are less critical of their face/body/hair, or is it the opposite?

I am pretty equal in having certain standards on grooming and taking care of oneself whether a person is male or female. Being attractive without looking trashy is a somewhat lost art in this era.

just looking for some opinions. thanks.

Present yourself as well as possible, in body, mind and personality. That will make you a triple threat.

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(in reply to lighthearted)

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RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/17/2009 7:09:01 PM

lighthearted

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thanks everyone for your answers so far. I appreciate the different viewpoints.

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Post #: 8

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/17/2009 7:23:02 PM

NightTigress

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I think what it comes down to is that women are told to find a mate and get married, guys are told to have fun so there is less stress on them to find the right one if not only in there head

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 9

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/18/2009 11:44:33 AM

LaTigresse

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I find a lot more women attractive and sexy, than I do men. Regardless of whether I am attracted to them or not.

Even though I identify as lesbian, I am certainly no "gold star". Technically, if I had to put a truthful label on my ass it would be bisexual. However, there are so very few men that interest me and none in a BDSM/power exchange way.

I am picky when it comes to personal relationships. I would say the odds are about 1 in 1,000 that I will be interested in having sex or exploring a relationship with a person. I am sure that has a lot to do with the fact that I am pretty happy with my life as it is. I've learned to live with that little achy hole somewhere near where a heart should be.

All of that makes me damned picky. I will have to be attracted to them on more levels than simply, "she's hot!". I find a variety of women beautiful and sexy. Hell, my first love was a curvy little 5'2", 105, mouthy, crazy, dark haired, dark eyed, italian.......thank god she is still my friend! The second and last, 5'11", blonde, runway model (aka too thin), french/NYC, blueblood aristrocrat that spoke 6 languages fluently, mental case.........whom I loved very much.

Since then I've been attracted to a tattooed goth, long black hair, soccer player with a totally HUGE fucking attitude (still one of my best friends). A very curvy southern blonde. A petite, super quiet, totally subservient, hispanic girl. A famous and really misunderstood, young actress. A lovely, cool blonde, proper, british school teacher. And a few others. There are very few qualities they all share, aside from the fact that they all have some submissive quality.

Even though there were various reasons for a relationship not working, I am fortunate to call them all friends. I still find them beautiful and sexy, in their own way, even though other people might not see what I see.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 10

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/18/2009 12:43:14 PM

subtlebutterfly

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<<thinking LaT stole my lesbi label bloody hell we gotta share!

The females have ranged from 5'2 - 6'2 and from thin to a few extras and mostly average in appearance (to most

). There're tons of sessay femmes out there but I aint interested in fucking any of'em. I honestly haven't been able to grasp what exactly makes those extremely few fems stand out....guess thats why I judge men more harshly at first..'cause when it comes to them I know exactly what I'm looking for.

If I figure out exactly what it is I need in fems I probably will judge them equally. The bottomline is I'm attracted to the person..not the gender, it just happens to be fems 99% of the time.

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RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/18/2009 12:52:35 PM

LaTigresse

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I know that the young woman that just applied for a job with the other company in this building hit my, "damn" button.

Yet, not classically gorgeous. Just had a something, that tweaked my interest.

(I am bad. Bad bad BAD!)

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 12

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/18/2009 9:10:41 PM

Real_Trouble

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It depends on the person, I think.

I am unusually harsh for a guy about judging looks, so there is clearly a continuum. With that said, it has definitely been my experience that women are more stringent about judging looks, but less likely to confess to that fact without prodding. The trick is finding the truth...

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Post #: 13

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/19/2009 4:00:04 AM

Rainfire

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If you don't mind another viewpoint, I can say that though I'm straight, I was bi-curious when younger and had a few relationships with women. To this day, I can still appreciate a beautiful woman, just nothing will come of it other than friendship.

It's not strictly physical appearance but a combination of things. Quite frankly, intelligence and logic coupled with a strong dash of common sense does wonders for me. Those combined with what might be considered "average" appearance can make someone, male or female, stunning in my book. However, as Forest Gump said it best: "Stupid is as stupid does." Stupidity with average looks makes a person totally uninteresting and I can think of a few people that I met that hit the dreaded "fugly" category because of a combination of looks, stupidity and moronic attitudes.

This goes for men or women, I don't judge based on gender but on a person by person case.

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Post #: 14

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/19/2009 5:21:34 AM

JonnieBoy

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I was under the impression that "attractiveness " is (mainly) (in women) about "attractiveness" to men (hetero mainly).

That it should, in context, be considered a discussion "mainly for women" who judge each others "attractiveness" suggests "mainly for women" who are not hetero.

If that's not the case then consider this ... How is it that women trust other womens opinions on what is "attractive" to men (hetero mainly, but lets be inclusive because I know many non hetero men who just "luuuuurve" to bitch about womens looks and dress sense) ?

How is it too that women actually TRUST womens opinions to the extent of actually believing that a crap hairdoo looks really good ("ooooh , that's ... ! ... different". "It really ... ! ... suits you" etc.etc. spring to mind), or unwittingly go out under deliberately crap advice off insincere women who just want to feel better about how crap they look themselves?

"Attractiveness" is in the eye of the beholder I reckon and I have done plenty of beholding in my time, can't say any of it was from the point of view of being "critical",or "less critical" than anyone else(includes all).

What I find MOST attractive is not available in any specific dress size, is not available "over the counter",does not require surgery, takes no preparation time, cannot be bought for any price and has to be 100% natural ...

Mind you ... I am somewhat guilty of unashamedly coveting her ass

Pirate

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 15

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/19/2009 5:34:14 AM

MadameMarque

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I don't think to myself, I'm going to find someone who's got this or that quality. I just am attracted or I'm not.

Many of the people to whom I'm attracted are unusually intelligent, as it happens, some genius level (much as that may hurt my chances, heh...ahem). But I just feel drawn to an individual, and they are whatever way they are.

Most of the men are to whom I'm drawn meet a popular conventional standard of beauty. Let's put it that way. And, most of them are quite androgyneous in appearance.

I'm rarely sexually attracted to women. When I am, it's on a very individual basis and though they have It, and though they are beautiful, they are not necessarily the magazine cover version.

(in reply to Rainfire)

Post #: 16

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/19/2009 8:56:01 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JonnieBoy

If that's not the case then consider this ... How is it that women trust other womens opinions on what is "attractive" to men (hetero mainly, but lets be inclusive because I know many non hetero men who just "luuuuurve" to bitch about womens looks and dress sense) ?

How is it too that women actually TRUST womens opinions to the extent of actually believing that a crap hairdoo looks really good ("ooooh , that's ... ! ... different". "It really ... ! ... suits you" etc.etc. spring to mind), or unwittingly go out under deliberately crap advice off insincere women who just want to feel better about how crap they look themselves?

Pirate

Not all of us do. I don't think I've ever asked another woman's opinion of something about my appearance. At least not since I was 12 or 13. I trust my own eyes and judgement more than anyone else's.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to JonnieBoy)

Post #: 17

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/19/2009 9:06:20 AM

lighthearted

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Joined: 11/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JonnieBoy

I was under the impression that "attractiveness " is (mainly) (in women) about "attractiveness" to men (hetero mainly).

That it should, in context, be considered a discussion "mainly for women" who judge each others "attractiveness" suggests "mainly for women" who are not hetero.

If that's not the case then consider this ... How is it that women trust other womens opinions on what is "attractive" to men (hetero mainly, but lets be inclusive because I know many non hetero men who just "luuuuurve" to bitch about womens looks and dress sense) ?

How is it too that women actually TRUST womens opinions to the extent of actually believing that a crap hairdoo looks really good ("ooooh , that's ... ! ... different". "It really ... ! ... suits you" etc.etc. spring to mind), or unwittingly go out under deliberately crap advice off insincere women who just want to feel better about how crap they look themselves?

"Attractiveness" is in the eye of the beholder I reckon and I have done plenty of beholding in my time, can't say any of it was from the point of view of being "critical",or "less critical" than anyone else(includes all).

What I find MOST attractive is not available in any specific dress size, is not available "over the counter",does not require surgery, takes no preparation time, cannot be bought for any price and has to be 100% natural ...

Mind you ... I am somewhat guilty of unashamedly coveting her ass

Pirate

that's primarily while I prefaced my question "for those who identify as bisexual", because that's the pov I was looking for, someone who inherently finds other women attractive in a sexual way. of course, I welcome anyone's pov.

but, I understand your point of, why would one woman trust the another woman's critique of her looks...I think Lashra hit the nail on the head (so to speak) in her statement about, where she brings up competition between women. I guess if you don't feel you are in competition with another person, you are far more likely to trust their opinion.

seems like a lot of women apply the same standards to women as they do to men...face/body doesn't matter as much as personality and smarts.

thanks, everyone.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to JonnieBoy)

Post #: 18

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/19/2009 12:59:38 PM

JonnieBoy

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From: Cymru
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PS ... after deliberation ... I think lipstick tastes fucking horrid and is therefore only "attractive" under limited circumstances.

I think women who apply snogging repellent must not like being kissed. A bit like women who wear bustles must not like to feel a hand on their ass.

Pirate

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 19

RE: attractiveness - mainly for women - 6/19/2009 1:53:03 PM

brandi1379

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I dont like to jump judge ppl as i call it, but i find i judge men more harshly tthen i do women. If i hit it right off the bat with a girl and we have alot of things in common ill more then likely keep talking to her or start something. With guys tho, i look to see if there handsome, have a good job, then i see if we have something in common. I feel like i can be myself around girls and not so much with guys. I mean guy friends yea i had tons of those cause we would always scope out chicks, but when it comes down to dateing i feel like i have to put on the girlie girl act to keep there interest.

(in reply to JonnieBoy)

Post #: 20

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