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Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 3:18:10 AM   
confineme971


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/22/2008
Status: offline 		Assuming that becoming a cuckold/cuckolded in a vanilla relationship requires consent from both spouses, I wonder about TPE. Does a slave has a saying about this issue or the Dominant does not need any consent from the slave?
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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 3:20:39 AM   
rouletteslave


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/15/2009
Status: offline 		Your posts seems to assume that there is a rule book of 24/7 TPE relationships from which one could cite appropriate behavior.

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 3:23:20 AM   
confineme971


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rouletteslave

Your posts seems to assume that there is a rule book of 24/7 TPE relationships from which one could cite appropriate behavior.


I don't know why would you think that, I was refering to peoples mindset and possible experiences.

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 4:23:17 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		I think anybody always has a say about anything...though some might have to ask for permission to speak...also having a say does not mean that anybody will actually listen...

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 4:44:53 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Sure. Something like this has to be discussed beforehand. If you aren't interested and she is, then you aren't sufficiently compatible to have a good relationship. This is a major item, if someone deliberately doesn't tell you until after you're collared, that's a lie by omission and by having lied about the basis of the relationship, they broke their word first, thus you aren't obligated to keep yours.

And even if they tell you this isn't so, you still can get up and walk.

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 6:43:54 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
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quote:

I don't know why would you think that


It was the way you phrased your question, I came to the same conclusion. You don't mention "mindsets" anywhere in your question. Perhaps you didn't use enough words.

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 7:02:00 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: confineme971
Assuming that becoming a cuckold/cuckolded in a vanilla relationship requires consent from both spouses, I wonder about TPE. Does a slave has a saying about this issue or the Dominant does not need any consent from the slave?


OK, a few different answers:

a) Within my own marriage: The slave has input, but does not have any decision making authority. So no, I do not need consent to do this or anything else I want. What I might need to do though is wonder if she'll continue to be my slave and/or my wife.

b) Within other people's relationships: Every relatinoship is different. I've seen vehemenent arguments on both sides of this coin. Your best bet is to have this one clearly spelled out up front.

c) Does it really matter? Look, TPE or not, consent or not, slave/sub/whatever.... does any of that matter. If one person in a relationship does something that is significantly hurtful to the other person, then the relationship ends. Even in TPE relationships, the "slave" always has the choice to stop being the slave -- that's what consent is all about.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 5:46:10 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: confineme971

Assuming that becoming a cuckold/cuckolded in a vanilla relationship requires consent from both spouses, I wonder about TPE. Does a slave have a say about this issue or does the Dominant not need any consent from the slave?


Bud....there is exactly 1 snowballs chance in Hell of you becoming a cuckold in a vanilla relationship.

They're contrary.

As likely as you'd be driving a golf cart through the middle of a Krogers dairy section looking for bedding material, coffee table books or a new Camaro.

TPE as well.

The dominant most assuredly would have a say....

(And it wouldn't happen if your better half wanted a vanilla lifestyle).

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 5:47:16 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
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I lied....

(There's somewhat less of 1 snowball's chance in hell).

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 7:07:19 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rouletteslave

Your posts seems to assume that there is a rule book of 24/7 TPE relationships from which one could cite appropriate behavior.

Well, there sorta is: do what your Master/Mistress wishes.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 7:37:47 PM   
rouletteslave


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: rouletteslave

Your posts seems to assume that there is a rule book of 24/7 TPE relationships from which one could cite appropriate behavior.

Well, there sorta is: do what your Master/Mistress wishes.



But if, as Aleister Crowley would say, "that be the whole of the law" then the question answers itself. I just find this entire question pointless. If people are choosing to do something, then great. But the questioner asks us to determine appropriate conduct for a relationship where we know absolutely nothing of the people involved.

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 7:48:37 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rouletteslave

But if, as Aleister Crowley would say, "that be the whole of the law" then the question answers itself. I just find this entire question pointless. If people are choosing to do something, then great. But the questioner asks us to determine appropriate conduct for a relationship where we know absolutely nothing of the people involved.

Knowing what the M-side of an M/s TPE relationship wants isn't necessary. Only that it is wanted/demanded.

Sure, we've been over the insubstantial debates over the reliability of terms like "sub" and "slave", but the "T" in TPE is an awfully clear adjective.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 8:12:53 PM   
rouletteslave


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/15/2009
Status: offline 		If the T in TPE really means total (i.e. all) power has been exchanged and the dom can arrange to have the subs eyes gouged out, then cuckolding seems a rather insignificant consequence in comparison, sure. But these terms mean radically different things to different people and I just wish confineme971 would just come out with what the particular situation is.

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 8:18:49 PM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rouletteslave

If the T in TPE really means total (i.e. all) power has been exchanged and the dom can arrange to have the subs eyes gouged out, then cuckolding seems a rather insignificant consequence in comparison, sure. But these terms mean radically different things to different people and I just wish confineme971 would just come out with what the particular situation is.


As a matter of fact, that is EXACTLY what it means
What you are seeming to confuse is that he can always end the relationship, then it is Total nothing :D


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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 8:23:40 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rouletteslave

If the T in TPE really means total (i.e. all) power has been exchanged and the dom can arrange to have the subs eyes gouged out, then cuckolding seems a rather insignificant consequence in comparison, sure.

Precisely.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rouletteslave

But these terms mean radically different things to different people

Not really. That's not the issue. It's not that "total" has different meanings so much as what each individual M-type actually wants. The parameters of what "total" implies will change from person to person, but that doesn't change the fact that is should be "total".

quote:

ORIGINAL: rouletteslave

and I just wish confineme971 would just come out with what the particular situation is.

He did. The hypothetical of the slave of a TPE relationship's options in the case of the M-type wanting him to engage in cuckolding:
quote:


Does a slave has a saying about this issue or the Dominant does not need any consent from the slave?

So the answer would be: the slave does not have a say*.

(* - unless of course the slave wants to render null the entire point of the TPE relationship at which point I would think a respectably strict M-type would handily dismiss them.)


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 8:24:40 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

then it is Total nothing :D


lol

10 points.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)
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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 8:25:15 PM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		yay, I got points!

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Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/18/2009 8:28:15 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


I lied....

(There's somewhat less of 1 snowball's chance in hell).


One of my best friends is nilla, and her (now ex) husband is sub.  She cuckolded him a few times, at his insistence.  The marriage continued for years afterward, but she has told me she never felt the same for him since.

So it does happen.  It just happens in a damaging way.  Of course, cuckolding tends to damage BDSM relationships, too.  There just ain't a lot of people who can make that fantasy come alive in a healthy way.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/19/2009 5:55:25 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

NZ Said:
So the answer would be: the slave does not have a say*.

I gotta gree with Ash here. The absolutely correct way to look at this for me is that Carol very much does have a say... it's just the only "say" she has comes in the form of a nuclear bomb. She can nuke the entire M/s dynamic if she wants or obey. But it's hard for me to reconcile 'nuclear bomb' with 'no say'.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to NihilusZero)
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RE: Cuckolding in TPE - 6/19/2009 6:24:05 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Cuckholding is humiliation play, pure and simple.  Okay, well it isn't simple but the concept is the same, it damages relationships if you don't know what the fuck you are doing and you don't know your partner.

The underlying dynamic is that the "bull" leaves and the "cuck" stays.  Done well it reinforces the fact that the dominant partner really wants the cuck and not the bull.  How that manifests in a particular relationship is going to vary and this IS some risky play but it can be done well.  The reality is that like much of BDSM, there is a duality going on that isn't clear at first glance.  On some level, the "bull" is really the cuck as he is sent packing and the cuck is the one who gets to be with the now clearly demonstrated highly desirable partner and can in some way feel like the "bull".

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