Deceitful sub advice needed

Deceitful sub advice needed (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

lionesspsu -> Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:18:03 PM)
Ladies: I have a Sub that I have found pursuing another Mistress. I was quite clear before we began playing that I do not tolerate that without my permission (which would be rare) while we are playing. I do plan to drop him, since I demand loyalty and honesty above all else. What I wanted to hear thoughts about is whether I should tell him how I became aware of the deceit. On one hand, I think it would give him insight to 'be a better deceiver' with his next Mistress if I tell him where he went wrong. Would you tell him the how, or just the basics of why? FYI: When I say pursuing, I don't mean chatting for conversation and casual friendship either.

Lockit -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:22:44 PM)
From my experience, they don't ask how you found out... they are just freaked out that you did. I might tell him and I might not, but I tend to keep some things close to my chest because they do learn to be better at the sneaky stuff. I have watched more than a couple refine their game and some who watch dominant women so they can perfect their game. I tend to do what makes it better for me in the situation and move on.

Venatrix -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:23:02 PM)
I'd waste as little additional time on him as possible. Let him know that you are aware of his deceit and that you have no further interest in him because of it, then move on to more productive and interesting things. If you start explaining to him how you found out, he'll probably just try to worm his way back into your affections by explaining how you "got it wrong."

MsFlutter -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:24:57 PM)
By this time, I'd already be referring to him in the past tense.

ikneel2you -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:27:50 PM)
Of course, this comes from the other side of the coin, but I wouldn't tell him a thing. I'd dismiss him immediately, and tell him you wished him luck in his further pursuits. Cut the tie, and let him bleed all over himself elsewhere.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:28:17 PM)
You are the Dominant, what do you care how or what you tell him? He screwed up, end of story.

DarkSteven -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:30:29 PM)
Protect your sources. Don't tell him.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:33:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Protect your sources. Don't tell him. Oh c'mon DS, do you now how expensive the BDSM witness protection program is? I say tell the bastard what She knows, who said what and give everyone AK47 paint ball guns----where's your spirit of Dominant rage?

Lockit -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:35:29 PM)
You could do what I did... hehe... Woke him up binding him to the bed with an oh goodie look on his face. Told him what I knew and watched as his eyes got very huge realising he was bound and I would most likely want to kill him. Priceless! lol

CatdeMedici -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:41:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit You could do what I did... hehe... Woke him up binding him to the bed with an oh goodie look on his face. Told him what I knew and watched as his eyes got very huge realising he was bound and I would most likely want to kill him. Priceless! lol gawd, You are a wicked creature, I do adore You!

lionesspsu -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:43:33 PM)
quote: You could do what I did... hehe... Woke him up binding him to the bed with an oh goodie look on his face. Told him what I knew and watched as his eyes got very huge realising he was bound and I would most likely want to kill him. Priceless! lol I like that...........I do have the urge to beat his ass - I mean really beat him - before i release him, rather than just cutting him loose calmly with little explanation.

Lockit -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:43:34 PM)
LOL Cat... what is cool is that he will most likely read this and be transported to that moment... again! hehe

Lockit -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:46:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lionesspsu quote: You could do what I did... hehe... Woke him up binding him to the bed with an oh goodie look on his face. Told him what I knew and watched as his eyes got very huge realising he was bound and I would most likely want to kill him. Priceless! lol I like that...........I do have the urge to beat his ass - I mean really beat him - before i release him, rather than just cutting him loose calmly with little explanation. LOL I understand the feeling well! But don't do it! I never wanted to bloody an ass before, but I did then and had just the right thing to bring that about... but... because I didn't, he didn't get over it as quickly. A year later was still saying he wished I had. No way will I give him that comfort of feeling punished and therefore able to move passed it easier. I wanted him to remember... so he would be less likely to do it to someone else.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:46:55 PM)
I guess I am confused by why you were considering telling him in the first place. Do you want closure? Do you think there's even a small chance you misinterpreted the situation and think he deserves an opportunity to explain himself? Do you want to be sure he knows that he didn't make a fool out of you? It seems to me that the question behind your question is, "How can I hold my head up high despite this?" Is that correct, or am I misunderstanding?

PeonForHer -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:55:32 PM)
On the whole, I'd say: don't tell him how you found out. To me, this is a little like knowing conjuring tricks - there's a strong urge to tell how you did it, but in the long run and for the higher good it's damaging. You might spoil it for others, later. Another woman who he might try to cheat, further down the line, might not be able to catch him out.

lionesspsu -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 5:58:41 PM)
quote: I guess I am confused by why you were considering telling him in the first place. Do you want closure? Do you think there's even a small chance you misinterpreted the situation and think he deserves an opportunity to explain himself? Do you want to be sure he knows that he didn't make a fool out of you? It seems to me that the question behind your question is, "How can I hold my head up high despite this?" Is that correct, or am I misunderstanding? Well, I think to be honest, I want to do what would be most bothersome to him. I hate the disloyalty and want to punish. I also don't want to make him a 'better' deceiver by telling him how I became aware of his activities, but i was anicipating denial from him initially. I've also considered not telling him why at all; maybe just that I no longer have any use for him. Like I said, basically, whatever will amount to the most 'punishment' to him!

PeonForHer -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 6:15:36 PM)
It will scramble his brains just for him to be told that you know, Lioness. You can watch how hard his jaw hits the floor. Knowing how you caught him will only give him leverage - the means to challenge you, as Venatrix says.

GrizzlyBear -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 6:30:14 PM)
I'd just tell him in person that you know what he has been doing, to get out and never come back. Do it when he is expecting to meet for play. If you know who the Mistress is that he is courting, you might let her know that he is now free, and why. I'm sure she will appreciate knowing that he is no longer attached. If she ever knew that he was...

lionesspsu -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 6:37:14 PM)
Grizzly: You think I should tell the other Mistress, then. Not just leave that alone? I'd like to inform her, but then I think that maybe i should not interfere beyond my own interests?

Lockit -> RE: Deceitful sub advice needed (6/18/2009 6:49:30 PM)
I talked to two women in my situation and they were both very glad I did. Recently there were a couple real players in my state and I had caught them at a number of things and one had a criminal history of domestic abuse, stalking and the like with multiple women. One had a dom profile where he said he was experienced and had collared two women and was presnting as new to bdsm with others... most likely looking for a quick hook up and a home since mama was telling him it was time to go. I didn't know what his game was exactly but later learned more. I contacted two dominant's in this area and said something very mild and both were glad I spoke to them. The one they knew about and the other wasn't known about, but busted then because he was working his way through us all. I then learned of others that they had experienced and I had talked to and knew to be less than someone I would want in my life. I was glad they talked to me in case I hadn't known. But I am not talking slander here. There was proof for all that was shared either way. If it is someone I know or could run into in person or even here... I will try to let them know there is something up without looking bad myself. It isn't revenge, it is simply that I would hate for something to happen to someone when I know there may be a danger to them. It only backfired on me once and I survived it.

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875