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Hello... a little frightened - 6/19/2009 1:04:51 AM   
christoy


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline 		Hello...this is my first time here. I recently met a man who awakened a very submissive part of me. I am confused and a little frightened. I think I've always been sumissive, just didn't recognize it, and never had a dominant man in my life. I've always enjoyed pleasing the people in my life.... and Iv'e always enjoyed pleasing men sexually. I'd like to learn how to please more. I do not want to get hurt. Don't know the rules and and am confused about a submissives right to say no and if a submissive can ever be given the freedom to provide their own form of pleasure to the dominant man...has the ability to use my own creativity and my own ideas of how to please, beyond responding to commands. Posting just this is horribly scary for me.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Hello... a little frightened - 6/19/2009 1:06:53 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		Welcome, dont wory we dont bite without permission :D

A sun always has the right to say no, and set limits
as far as coming up with new ways to please someone, that depends on the Dominant you are with

hang out, have fun and feel free to ask any questions that yo may have, we have all been new at some point or another.


_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to christoy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Hello... a little frightened - 6/19/2009 1:55:21 AM   
PyrotheClown


Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline 		BOOOOO!





haha, don't be scur'd thou
We've all been new to something or nother one time in our lives, hell, I'm new ass hell too...
Just keep you head firmly between you shoulders and you'll be fine

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Hello... a little frightened - 6/19/2009 3:36:00 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to christoy)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Hello... a little frightened - 6/19/2009 5:19:11 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hi, christoy!  A few comments...

First, your possessor has obviously been working with you and is helping you grow,  There are a lot of men who cannot see beyond their own selves, and yours is handling you well, and doing things like having you come here.  Letting you learn while developing a sense of community. That's very good.  Props to him.

Second, you want to know how to please more in bed.  There's one clear way, and you're going to be afraid of it:  Talk to him.  You can both propose "Would you like it if I XXXX?" and just ask "Is there something you would like me to do?" 

Third, you may seem to think that D/s is this elaborate ritual, and we all walk around dressed in black robes and chanting foreign words, like the Catholic Church pre-Vatican II.   Nope.  We work, and we pay rent or mortgages.  We have children and belong to civic associations.  We're just people.

Fourth, your D/s has occurred in the bedroom.  If you haven't already done so, you have the option to extend it further.  You can wear a spcial piece of jewelry that represents your mutual commitment in public - a bracelet or pendant for example - that serves as a collar, and nobody knows but the two of you.  You can let him tell you what you're making for dinner that night, or where you'll be eating out.

The only "rule" that I know is that both of you need to give respect as well as earn it.

Again, welcome!


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Hello... a little frightened - 7/12/2009 5:42:47 PM   
oldtimer74


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		Its easy for a newbie to be confused. Following are a few hints.
BDSM involves giving up control of your body in order to experience the pleasure and pain of bondage. It does give anyone control of your mind.

Of course you have the ability to set limits, and a partner who will not respect them must be dropped.

Your partner should also fulfill your fantasies not just his.

Beware of those who want ownereship tattoos or branding to signify your submissiveness.

Also beware of those who want to give you demeaning names; i.e. slut, slave etc., and then want you to call them master or sir. Both of you have real names and that is what should be used, unless you give them permission to use another name.

Oldtimer74

(in reply to christoy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Hello... a little frightened - 7/12/2009 5:59:39 PM   
justme1980


Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christoy

Hello...this is my first time here. I recently met a man who awakened a very submissive part of me. I am confused and a little frightened. I think I've always been sumissive, just didn't recognize it, and never had a dominant man in my life. I've always enjoyed pleasing the people in my life.... and Iv'e always enjoyed pleasing men sexually. I'd like to learn how to please more. I do not want to get hurt. Don't know the rules and and am confused about a submissives right to say no and if a submissive can ever be given the freedom to provide their own form of pleasure to the dominant man...has the ability to use my own creativity and my own ideas of how to please, beyond responding to commands. Posting just this is horribly scary for me.


Simply put, you make the rules and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise

(in reply to christoy)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Hello... a little frightened - 7/12/2009 6:01:58 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oldtimer74
beware of those who want to give you demeaning names; i.e. slut, slave etc., and then want you to call them master or sir. Both of you have real names and that is what should be used, unless you give them permission to use another name.

And beware of people who give B.S. "advice" on the internet.  Holy crap.

Christoy, figure out what works for you.  Rule #1: random people on the internet don't necessarily know what they are talking about.  Read as much as you can, talk about it with people who care about you, and decide for yourself.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to oldtimer74)
Profile   Post #: 8
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