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B1gbear -> RE: age and DOm/Masters (2/14/2006 8:00:54 AM)
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You need to look at this objectively and not as an older sub being rejected for younger ones. First off, most true Dominant men don't come into their Dominant side (become the Dom they have in them so to speak) till their mid-thirties. Its a maturity thing. It takes that long for most men to settle down, lose the ego and insecurities, gain confidence in themselves and allow the natural leader and Master to evolve. Ero, most true Dominants will be 10 to 20 years older than their counterparts also finding themselves in their submissive nature. Now that said there are untold numbers of submissive women also finding themselves and their submissive nature throughout their lives so this is an average, not an absolute. Just as there are the rare Dominant males settling into their Dominant nature in their twenties. No absolutes, just averages as we are all different.
Next we take a look at the male Doms in general. Look through the centuries first off. As far back as recorded history goes and you will see older men taking younger wives. Younger women wanting an established mature older man. That is human nature. Some are drawn to such naturally for them, some are filling their egos to feel they can still draw a younger woman, some choose younger women deliberately for good reason, just as younger women choose older mature men.
Now let's park that side of this discussion and look at the submissive women. A young sub is new to this lifestyle, moldable, eager to learn and full of life and energy. Some seek a sugar daddy, some see and seek the wisdom and maturity in the Dom they will give themselves to as they too want to give themselves over fully. Some even seek a Daddy/daughter dynamic that pretty much works best with an older Dom. Then some are immature and just seeking a guilible Dom they can manipulate with their youth and beauty. Again far too many different reasons to lump in one catagory.
Now the older submissive. Some sincerely seeking the same thing as the sincere young sub, also wanting that same maturity and wisdom in the older Dom who now just happens to be closer to her age, some ALSO wanting a sugar daddy, some wanting a Daddy and to be the daughter as well, some just wanting a companion to settle down with and spend their lives with, some not able to find that in their vanilla lives and although they are not very submissive in nature, wanting to simply find a man and this is the next best way to do it. Again, a hundred different variations and reasons for what they look for in a man.
Now lets look at the psychological angle in what a Dom seeks in a submissive. A true Dom is also a teacher and mentor....his natural craving is to find a sub who he can teach and mold into the submissive he desires in many cases. (Again, no absolutes, we are talking about the Doms and subs who gravitate to the age difference, not all those who prefer partners their age.
A young sub tends to be moldable, eager to learn, with most of her life experiences ahead of her, not behind. She tends to want a Master who knows what he's doing and wants to teach her. As the older Dom attracted to such tends to embrace. This versus the older sub who is more mature already, had a great many life experiences behind her and is more set in her ways. She knows what she does and doesn't want or like for the most part, and had been there, done that save for this new lifestyle experience. The older sub also tends to equate this lifestyle to the vanilla standards she has always lived with in the past, (marriage, versus Master/slave for example). The young sub will tend to be more accepting of a pure Master/slave dynamic in itself, an older wanting marriage as the security under the dynamic. In short, the younger sub tends to want the Master to guide her into what her life will be, and the older sub tends to want to find a Dom fit the life she has and wants a Dom to be part of. Many older established Doms crave that molding process. They crave the knowledge that they are teaching and their slave will embrace the life they offer, not that they will need to comform to the wants and needs of the submissive.
I will say it one more time....we are talking about the Doms and subs who crave the age difference, not those who want something more established or partners closer to their own age.
In summary, to jab at older Doms who want a younger sub than you is petty and probably filled more with jealousy or a sense of not being wanted than common sense. There are plenty who will want a sub their age. Don't belittle those who don't cause they don't share the same interests as you.
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