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Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/19/2009 2:41:55 PM

nd601

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This is a variation of a question I posted in the Switches forum.

Basically, just wanted to poll the forumers about their relationship dynamic. How many of you keep kink to the bedroom only?

I mean that in regular life, you appear just like any other couple (maybe with light d/s elements) and there's no "dominant" partner (or the dominant partner is the same one as would be in a perfectly vanilla relationship.)

However, in the bedroom you either switch or stick with a certain role. There may be sex, but it doesn't *have* to include it.

I'm referring to both S&M and D/S. (and maybe even the top-bottomers who've no interest in d/s)

Also, do you think the dynamic in the bedroom would spill over to regular life eventually (assuming no switching?)

If any of this sounds confused, it's because I am :)

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RE: Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/19/2009 3:00:56 PM

Viridana

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I'm strictly S/M, no d/s here in my relationship, not even in the bedroom.
The S/M is non-sexual so it's not in the bedroom either hahaha... I know I'm not mainstream here.

(in reply to nd601)

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RE: Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/19/2009 3:53:15 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nd601
I mean that in regular life, you appear just like any other couple (maybe with light d/s elements) and there's no "dominant" partner (or the dominant partner is the same one as would be in a perfectly vanilla relationship.)

We don't have any kink as you put it either in or out of the bedroom. In "regular life" (which I assume for us means our entire lives), we would appear pretty vanilla at all times. I am, however, the dominant partner at all times. For instance, I just said to Carol, "Hey, when you get a chance, would you make me some lime-water?" Her response was "Sure." You can call that exchange whatever you will, but it was clear bewteen us that the expecation was she'd make the drink now and "I'm busy" was not one of the acceptable answers.

I'm not qutie sure what you were actually wanting to know but there's the answers to your questions. What is it that you're really wondering?

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RE: Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/19/2009 3:57:51 PM

peppermint

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We're D/s with little bedroom kink. In fact, our bedroom life is really rather vanilla. We also appear just like any other couple to most others. However, our D/s dynamic is a central part of our life together.

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RE: Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/19/2009 4:01:01 PM

beargonewild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nd601

This is a variation of a question I posted in the Switches forum.

Basically, just wanted to poll the forumers about their relationship dynamic. How many of you keep kink to the bedroom only?

I mean that in regular life, you appear just like any other couple (maybe with light d/s elements) and there's no "dominant" partner (or the dominant partner is the same one as would be in a perfectly vanilla relationship.)

However, in the bedroom you either switch or stick with a certain role. There may be sex, but it doesn't *have* to include it.

I'm referring to both S&M and D/S. (and maybe even the top-bottomers who've no interest in d/s)

Also, do you think the dynamic in the bedroom would spill over to regular life eventually (assuming no switching?)

If any of this sounds confused, it's because I am :)

Not here. Kink is part of my bedroom activities and part of my life outside the bedroom. I just recently ended a potential relationship because the other person was solely a bedroom kinkster and partly because he couldn't handle the fact that WIITWD is more than just a kink for me. He claimed to have an interest though his actions didn't match his words.

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RE: Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/19/2009 8:47:00 PM

AlexandraLynch

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I don't keep kink to the bedroom only, but I'm more D/s than I am S/m. If one of my boys goes shopping with me, he walks behind, he opens doors, he pushes the grocery cart, he picks up heavy or bulky items, loads and unloads the car, holds my purse, etc. For us, all these things are small reminders of how we are. When I can stand in the soda aisle and say, "Two cases of the diet, a twelve of the non-caffeine diet, a twelve of the diet orange, and two bottles of Mountain Dew" and have someone else get them and load them in my cart, he knows, and I know, that we're doing D/s then.

I normally do not make my boy or my girl eat second, eat in the kitchen, or eat on the floor. This is because I'm the cook, it's generally a "get it while it's hot!" sort of thing, the kitchen has no table, and I don't expect them to try to eat while dealing with rapacious felines intent on assisting them with it. But I probably would make them eat in the kitchen if we were so set up. (grin)

I work with the attitude of a Victorian middle class woman who had a maid of all work or a Roman woman who owned merely one or two slaves. I may be lending my hands to get the work done, but I assign the tasks, I organize the work, and I'm the person who makes the decisions, in the end. But I don't believe in pushing my D/s on anyone else, so beyond someone thinking, "He must be a southern boy, calling her ma'am and opening the door for her" no one's going to notice it in public. That's what makes it fun....doing it under everyone's noses.

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RE: Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/19/2009 8:50:43 PM

NuevaVida

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I'm submissive to him whether we're in the bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, or outside of the house. The "kink" (which I interpret as enjoying "bdsm play") takes place within one of our four walls (whether the bedroom or any other room) but not in the presence of others. I submit to him in each situation.

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RE: Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/19/2009 9:49:35 PM

DesFIP

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The d/s is always there but nobody would pick up on it because we treat each other with respect and kindness. He doesn't order me to crawl across the floor to get him a cup of tea in front of others. He doesn't bark orders. He calls me My Love and I call him Honey. But so what? Calling him by a title wouldn't change anything except to make others uncomfortable and that isn't our style.

If he looks at his watch and says "Time to go" I just stand up, tell friends goodbye and I'll call soon. Nobody is going to think twice about that interaction, nor do we want them to. Nor does it change the fact that he's the one deciding it's time to leave.

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RE: Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/20/2009 1:54:01 AM

cromaH

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I would be able to imagine some spanking before the sex in the bedroom as foreplay

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RE: Kink only in the bedroom? - 6/20/2009 7:37:35 AM

ranja

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I am submissive to Him almost always...very sometimes i might be uppety enough about something to forget my place...usually it gets me nowhere...usually my period is due when i become argumentative and unreasonable...i always end up apologising
We do our kink mainly in the bedroom, but some in the living room or kitchen or spare room...we also have been busy in the garden and in the car and when i am really lucky we'll take it outside in the woods or even more exiting places...

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