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ranja -> letters (6/20/2009 8:26:12 AM)
Who do you think a letter belongs to, the writer or the one it is send to? Who can decide what to do with this letter? If you forinstance would like to make the letter public? Would you think this is acceptable at all, regardless really of what is in the letter...does the person who sends the letter lose the right to keep the information in the letter private? But what if the person who wrote the letter has a copy that they wish to let someone else read too but the person the letter was send to does not want that? I personally think that once the letter is written and send that then both parties have equal posession of the text and can if they so wish make it public to a wider audience, regardless of what is in the text and regardless of the wishes of the other.

CatdeMedici -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 8:31:12 AM)
I would find anyone who did that to be arrogant and grossly inconsiderate--should anyone ever do that to Me, they would be off the buddy list in a NY second.

Missokyst -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 8:33:08 AM)
In my opinion though it is private information, given from one person to someone they chose to send it to, and them alone. Imagine if everything you said, good or bad was passed around from one person to the another. Is it really acceptable to become tabloid fodder? I would imagine a blackmailer would think it is open to share. Or my mom, who gossips about everything and everyone and really believes the stories in the Enquirer. Kyst

TheBanshee -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 8:33:41 AM)
I think it depends on the nature of a letter. If its a letter confirming they sent an order, that's open to speculation if there's a dispute obviously. If its of a personal, maybe intimate nature, there is likely an expectation of confidentiality. If you choose to violate that, and disrespect the intimacy you at least once shared...well, we know what type of person would do that. Even if a relationship ends, I should think a degree of ettiquette should remain. That might be the best thing you are able to leave with.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 8:41:15 AM)
I think that, if a person has sound ethics, xhe will consider something sent in a letter to be private between sender and recipient. However, if a recipient has something xhe wishes to -share- from that letter, it is good manners to ask the sender if it is ok to share 'such and such' from the letter. If the sender says 'no', then any discussion of the contents of the letter by either party would not be able to include the contents of the letter, or refer to either of the individuals involved. A letter is a communication between two people in written form. As such, it is privileged information for both parties -- not a matter of 'ownership', any more than a verbal conversation would be, but a matter of -privacy- and -discretion. Dame Calla

oceanwinds -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 8:53:24 AM)
I have seen people doing this in these forums. To me a person sharing a letter from someone with others, is a person I would not wish to know. It is a person who has little value for others, including themselves.

ranja -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 8:59:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW I think that, if a person has sound ethics, xhe will consider something sent in a letter to be private between sender and recipient. However, if a recipient has something xhe wishes to -share- from that letter, it is good manners to ask the sender if it is ok to share 'such and such' from the letter. If the sender says 'no', then any discussion of the contents of the letter by either party would not be able to include the contents of the letter, or refer to either of the individuals involved. A letter is a communication between two people in written form. As such, it is privileged information for both parties -- not a matter of 'ownership', any more than a verbal conversation would be, but a matter of -privacy- and -discretion. Dame Calla But if someone recieves a letter and feels outraged at some of the text they are surely allowed to discuss this with or show it to other people than whoever wrote it in the first place without their consent? If the writer wants total control of the text should they not have sent it perhaps? Also if someone receives a letter and totally misunderstands it can the writer not ask for a second opinion by showing the letter to another party without the consent of the one the letter was addressed to? I understand about privacy and moral issues, but where does one stand really...

slaveboyforyou -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 9:46:00 AM)
quote: I personally think that once the letter is written and send that then both parties have equal posession of the text and can if they so wish make it public to a wider audience, regardless of what is in the text and regardless of the wishes of the other. If you received a personal letter via the postal mail, would you publish it in the editorial section of your local paper? I assume you're talking about emails here, but I don't see publishing a private email in a public internet forum to be much different. If you want to share it with a friend or two privately, I don't see anything wrong with that. If someone sends you an email, it's certainly in your possession just like a paper letter is. I have and do share personal correspondence with friends of mine. But I wouldn't go so far as to make it avaliable to strangers. Why would you do that? It's childish.

MasterG2kTR -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 12:24:52 PM)
There is an old saying that holds a lot of truth in this situation....."Possession is Nine Tenths of the Law." It's like this, if you send the letter to someone you are in effect giving it to that person. Thus, that person is now the owner of said letter and theirs to do with as they please.

pahunkboy -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 12:51:30 PM)
A rare thing anymore. A letter- the pen can be mightier then the sword. My sister gets all my personal effects when I die. She is the only one that could figure it out. I went thru a stage of chasing men in prison. ....and men in general. I have to letters. After I am dead- I dont care who sees them. While I am alive- tho- I choose to disclose only what I want. ....it was cathartic to scan a nasty note from an ex.... lol. but- I am past 'revenge" it is not becoming to a person.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 1:02:37 PM)
I agree with CatdeMedici completely. A letter should, in my opinion, always be kept private. I believe that if people write you letters it's because they find it better to express their feelings that way or they are opening themselves or their mind up to a person and are more comfortable doing that through writing. To me it should be kept 110% confidential. A letter is written to YOU, it's not for the world to see. However, it depends upon the subject of the letter but like I said..I believe letters are intended as a personal thing, be it a written letter or an e-mail.

GreedyTop -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 3:28:31 PM)
count me in Cat's camp... written correspondence, to me, should be kept in the same confidence as a whispered confidence unless otherwise stated.

NorthernGent -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 3:33:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ranja I personally think that once the letter is written and send that then both parties have equal posession of the text and can if they so wish make it public to a wider audience, regardless of what is in the text and regardless of the wishes of the other. Of course you can - it's not a crime. But it boils down to your personal ethics. You are no friend where you make a private letter public.

Musicmystery -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 3:54:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterG2kTR There is an old saying that holds a lot of truth in this situation....."Possession is Nine Tenths of the Law." It's like this, if you send the letter to someone you are in effect giving it to that person. Thus, that person is now the owner of said letter and theirs to do with as they please. In that case, you could never write anything to anyone without assuming you're writing to the world. Interpersonal communication would be irrelevant, privacy impossible.

pixidustpet -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 5:07:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop count me in Cat's camp... written correspondence, to me, should be kept in the same confidence as a whispered confidence unless otherwise stated. the only exceptions to this are sending the family christmas newsletter, sending anything that could affect a married couple as a unit and damage their relationship if its not shared, and of course baby news UNLESS the baby news is asked to be kept confidential. kitten

Arpig -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 8:12:12 PM)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/3204121.stm This article makes it clear, that in Britain at least, the original writer retains full copyright in the letter.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 8:16:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ranja Who do you think a letter belongs to, the writer or the one it is sent to? Who can decide what to do with this letter? If you forinstance would like to make the letter public? Would you think this is acceptable at all, regardless really of what is in the letter...does the person who sends the letter lose the right to keep the information in the letter private? But what if the person who wrote the letter has a copy that they wish to let someone else read too but the person the letter was send to does not want that? I personally think that once the letter is written and send that then both parties have equal posession of the text and can if they so wish make it public to a wider audience, regardless of what is in the text and regardless of the wishes of the other. Sent. You're ranting. (Whatever it is or was...you need to let go).

LookieNoNookie -> RE: letters (6/20/2009 8:18:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici I would find anyone who did that to be arrogant and grossly inconsiderate--should anyone ever do that to Me, they would be off the buddy list in a NY second. What? He (or she) didn't say anyone did anything...he simply posed that someone wrote a letter....

ScooterTrash -> RE: letters (6/21/2009 2:41:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop count me in Cat's camp... written correspondence, to me, should be kept in the same confidence as a whispered confidence unless otherwise stated. Ditto, what Greedy said. If you wanted everyone to know what was said, you would have sent it to everyone or posted it.

RCdc -> RE: letters (6/21/2009 3:25:10 AM)
The person who writes the words, owns the words, regardless who they send it to. If you think about writing a book, who owns those words? Letters are no different. Just as when I take a photograph, its image belongs to me, even if I send them to others. You might think you own it just because you have a copy. But you would be a liar - or at the least fooling yourself. And legally you wouldn't have a leg to stand on. And just because someone decides to be an idiot, does that mean you have to be an idiot in return? the.dark.

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