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Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/20/2009 9:43:08 AM

dugald

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Joined: 12/24/2008
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I've always been curious about this.

How does a subs age affect how a Mistress views a potential submissive/slave. Do you prefer a slave/submissive to be the same age, younger or older (chronologically). Does experience matter? Do physical restrictions of a slave/submissive affect Mistress's desire to work with the submissive. Do You even consider the chronological age of a submissive or is it the mental age that matters. Be honest, some of us are more driven by outward appearance than other, maybe this changes with experience and age also.

Everyone, have a wonderful day!

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/20/2009 9:56:54 AM

Lockit

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Wow... lots of questions that have filled many threads! lol I mostly go by who the person is and how we fit. However, I will not consider someone far younger than I am and in some cases, far older than I am because I don't think we have as much of a fit in where I am in life. Our focus for the most part would be different. I am working on the end time of my life and cannot saddle a much younger person with my ends times, who should be working on the beginning of his life.

All the rest is situational and decided on the basis of a good fit for one another and attraction in any way attraction is used; physical, mental, emotional... etc. These things can be different with different people.

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/20/2009 10:14:18 AM

AlexandraLynch

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The main issue for me is that I'm done with procreation. If a man wants, ultimately, to be in a procreative relationship, then he's not going to be happy with me. Otherwise, every age has its own nice attributes, and part of the fun of discovery is what lovely characteristics a certain man or woman has.

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/20/2009 11:04:16 AM

aidan

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I know that when I first started exploring BDSM as a legal adult, my age was a pretty big stigma. I mostly interacted with, and to be honest was always more attracted to, older women. While I wasn't shunned socially, most Dommes made it very clear that my age made them very uncomfortable and they wouldn't want to have any kind of relationship (casual or comitted) with me because of it. As a few got to know me personally and we became friends, those barriers started to break down and those inclined became more receptive to the idea of play; I got more than a few offers. (Perhaps unfortunately I didn't captitalize on most opportunities because my Domme friends were very far-flung, but I'm happily owned now so I consider it all even.) Of course there were always women who still didn't see me as an adult in any sense and therefore a sexual pariah; more than once I talked to women who were convinced they'd be charged with statutory rape for engaging in sexual acts with an 18/19/20-year old.

Mistress is one of the few women I've known who legitimately did not rule out a person as a possible playmate or lover because of age. She has dated and played with men and women older, younger and in her age bracket throughout her life. The hurdles her and I had to overcome to be together were, I suppose, tangentially related to age, but had a lot more to do with what were at the time divergent life-goals that would have been an issue at any age.

And, tying into your question about "physical restrictions", there was the fact that I was skittish about sexual intercourse. At the time that Mistress and I met I was still a virgin and had vaginal sex as a limit, for a host of reasons, some which are too personal to discuss here. Suffice to say that I wanted to wait for the right person. Mistress was very vexed by this because she is not a woman who likes to be restricted. In fact I've known many Dommes who refuse to have such restrictions in place even if they don't intend to have sex with their submissives or slaves, simply because they want to know they have complete authority; it's not that they necessarily want it, but they want the option to have it.

Anyway, when we actually met in person and virtually fell in love at first sight that all fell to the wayside. I have now happily had my cherry popped. Best decision I ever made.

While my age didn't have a large effect on Mistress choosing me, she certainly appreciates the benefits my age offers. Exuberance and energy, vitallity and stamina, flexibility in life-planning...not to mention the enjoyment of a very beautiful and sexy young man (her words, not mine. Though I do agree ;-p )

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/20/2009 11:20:04 AM

Racquelle

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I would like to think I am not ageist, but really, I don't click with much younger men. Sometimes men my age. Usually much older men. Women of any age seem to be fine.

< Message edited by Racquelle -- 6/20/2009 11:26:25 AM >

(in reply to aidan)

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/20/2009 11:25:29 AM

MistressEllen444

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I prefer men a bit younger. I look younger than my age and find that men my age or older are starting to look like my father to me, yuck. I do not like someone in their 20's due to maturity (general statement I know) as a rule. Younger men who are in wonderful shape and are well educated are just so yummy.

(in reply to Racquelle)

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/20/2009 3:48:45 PM

thishereboi

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If I was to beat someones ass, I would not care about their age as long as they are legal. If I am looking for a relationship, then they would have to be close to my age or older.

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/20/2009 10:03:19 PM

MeaganBlake

Posts: 56
Joined: 1/8/2009
From: Central Ohio
Status: offline

I've always been with younger men in my vanilla relationships, but I'm finding myself drawn to subs who are older than me. My slave is ten years older than me, and of the two boys I've met from here, one was my age and the other was six years older.

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 1:14:40 AM

StoneFox

Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2009
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How does a subs age affect how a Mistress views a potential submissive/slave. If a sub is too young, it makes me feel like a perv. If he's too old, I see him as cradle-robbing.
Do you prefer a slave/submissive to be the same age, younger or older (chronologically)? 25-35 is IDEAL for me. "Man Age". Anything between those two works for my needs.
Does experience matter? Yes. I appreciate some experience.
Do physical restrictions of a slave/submissive affect Mistress's desire to work with the submissive? Yes. I would probably not consider a sub with physical restrictions.
Do You even consider the chronological age of a submissive or is it the mental age that matters? BOTH matter. But I really want someone close enough to me in age to be able to relate to.
Be honest, some of us are more driven by outward appearance than other, maybe this changes with experience and age also.
As I've grown as a person and a Dominant Woman, I realize that I need to find someone that I am attracted to in oder to fully connect. I have also realized as I've gotten older that I am reasonably decent-looking and that wanting someone who is my equal in terms of looks( in addition to all other factors of attraction) is very fair and also wise.

(in reply to MeaganBlake)

Post #: 9

RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 1:31:44 AM

LadySweetOrSour

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I don't mind a slave being younger than myself, but I think that a lot of the very young are more about the sex and the fantasy than the reality of D/s. My profile stipulates around 30-50, younger than that and I feel as if I would be dealing with someone my sons age. Not good.

I am very driven by outward appearance. If I don't find someone attractive physically, why would I want to engage in any possible sexual activity with them. That said, there isn't a pretty enough face and body in the world is going to make me want someone who doesn't have a personality I gel with.

My preference is for those who have little experience. I want someone who is trained to my specifications and doesn't need to "unlearn" what someone else taught them.

(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 10

RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 3:14:28 AM

CatdeMedici

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Age is an issue for Me, I have an UM of a certain age and there is a range there that I am respectful of--as far as limitations, it depends, I hate to say it but My home and My life are not conducive to someone with physical limitations and that extends to someone who can't be in the sun, someone who can't take the heat, someone not interested in long days of outside activities--those things won't work longterm--far too limiting for a lifepartner.

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(in reply to dugald)

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 3:32:58 AM

TEMPERANCE

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I tned to go for guys which are mid 30's, a bit younger than i... and that is an historic thing. I have gone as young as 22 once, but he was a dom and was more mature than me! (which isnt hard)

Expericence doesnt matter really as i think the mindset is much more important.

Physical appearance matters greatly to me... because im completely shallow.... another reason why i go for younger guys as they tend to be moe asthetically pleasing..... the downside to that is all the fit guys seem to have Mistresses all over them so i dont tend to bother... a cute guy in the vanilla world seems to turn into a rare sex god in the bdsm one...

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 4:54:02 AM

LadyPact

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The problem is that one can not answer these kinds of threads without getting caught up between the oxymoron of ageism and preferences. For example, if I sit here and say that I have a preference for a sub to be at least 25 so he can suit not only My needs in BDSM but also that he can fulfill certain social components, accompany Me to events that I like to attend and so on, I am automatically an ageist. If I say that age is only a number in a personal relationship, but that same number would bar a submissive of Mine at the door of an event that I wanted to attend, I am giving up My preferences.

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(in reply to dugald)

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 5:13:00 AM

MsFlutter

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From: East Coast
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySweetOrSour

I don't mind a slave being younger than myself, but I think that a lot of the very young are more about the sex and the fantasy than the reality of D/s. ....

LadyS...VERY well said !

Another question floating around the universe relative to the very young could be...

"Why is he passing up the whole 'pretty/perky' genre for someone more mature?"

The answers can be interesting..

I still like the way LadyH says it...'If I could have given birth to you..."

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(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 8:34:04 AM

Starbuck09

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I am 23 MsFlutter and I prefer to go out with older women for a number of reasons. One of the most important is the fact that they tend to know what they want from a relationship both sexually and emotionally which is a pleasant change from the extraneous histironics of many younger women. The drama and theatrics of relationships that many young people are enamoured of are an unspeakable waste of my time. It sounds arrogant and to an extent it is but I am also very intelligent and I like to have a partner that can hold a decent conversation, I love sex but sex alone won't hold a relationship together, unless i'm having a one night stand where it doesn't matter. These are generalisations of course and simply being older does not neccesarily make someone wiser and there are plenty of intelligent mature young women I just find there is a greater ratio of decent partners between say 30 and 40. I am also annoyingly aware aware that the same reason I look for older partners is the reason that older people tend to ignore people of my own age bracket.

(in reply to MsFlutter)

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 8:59:59 AM

aidan

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Joined: 5/28/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

"Why is he passing up the whole 'pretty/perky' genre for someone more mature?"

On the subject of "pretty":
Too many girls my age look exactly like that; they look like girls, something I find physically unattractive in a sexual partner. Perhaps because of taking care of younger cousins, perhaps because of associating age with power and authority, I can't say, but I do know that if somebody looks like a girl I'm not prone to finding them attractive. When I do find somebody my age attractive they either look older or their age is somewhat indeterminate.

And on the subject of "perky":
All of the women my age whom I met that I considered to have the traits of a viable partner (above-average intelligence, a similar moral compass, overlapping interests in entertainment, etc.,) were all either lesbians or engaged in other relationships.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
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(in reply to MsFlutter)

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 9:10:11 AM

VampiresLair

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Joined: 9/3/2008
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How does a subs age affect how a Mistress views a potential submissive/slave. Do you prefer a slave/submissive to be the same age, younger or older (chronologically). Does experience matter?
-I personally prefer younger men. I have had subs and partners my own age, and I have not enjoyed myself nearly as much. I like the energy and openmindedness of the younger ones. I also prefer inexperienced so that I do not have to deal with bad habits, preferences that suited someone else but dont match me and assumptions based on someone elses likes and dislikes.

Do physical restrictions of a slave/submissive affect Mistress's desire to work with the submissive.
-That depends on the physical restriction. I had a pet for a short time that had MS, and we were just fine. I do not know that I would consider someone in a wheelchair, for instance, because one of the things I enjoy most in my everyday vanilla life is going on hikes and camping and I would not pick a partner who could not take part in that with me. I would not choose a partner allergic to animals, because of my love for having them around. I have no problem with a partner with hearing or sight issues, as long as we can figure out how to communicate adequately around them. So on, so forth.

Do You even consider the chronological age of a submissive or is it the mental age that matters.
-I openly admit I do. I am attracted to younger men, and so I will take that into account when looking. I would not consider someone in their 40s or 50s, because I have no interest in an older partner. My Fox is 22 and we are getting married in October, so there is no more looking for me, but when I was I noticed there was no shortage of young male sub/slave types looking for older women, so it was never a problem.

DV

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RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 4:04:58 PM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Starbuck09

I am 23 MsFlutter and I prefer to go out with older women for a number of reasons. One of the most important is the fact that they tend to know what they want from a relationship both sexually and emotionally which is a pleasant change from the extraneous histironics of many younger women. The drama and theatrics of relationships that many young people are enamoured of are an unspeakable waste of my time. It sounds arrogant and to an extent it is but I am also very intelligent and I like to have a partner that can hold a decent conversation, I love sex but sex alone won't hold a relationship together, unless i'm having a one night stand where it doesn't matter. These are generalisations of course and simply being older does not neccesarily make someone wiser and there are plenty of intelligent mature young women I just find there is a greater ratio of decent partners between say 30 and 40. I am also annoyingly aware aware that the same reason I look for older partners is the reason that older people tend to ignore people of my own age bracket.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

"Why is he passing up the whole 'pretty/perky' genre for someone more mature?"

On the subject of "pretty":
Too many girls my age look exactly like that; they look like girls, something I find physically unattractive in a sexual partner. Perhaps because of taking care of younger cousins, perhaps because of associating age with power and authority, I can't say, but I do know that if somebody looks like a girl I'm not prone to finding them attractive. When I do find somebody my age attractive they either look older or their age is somewhat indeterminate.

And on the subject of "perky":
All of the women my age whom I met that I considered to have the traits of a viable partner (above-average intelligence, a similar moral compass, overlapping interests in entertainment, etc.,) were all either lesbians or engaged in other relationships.

Gentlemen - thank you! I love insight and you've both very generously indulged me. I appreciate the glimpses into the male mind :)

I am never sure how to respond to younger males. In the back of my head, I have to shush the little voice that is always wants to ask what game they are running. I have ten years on most women they associate with and yes, gravity works. My radar is in overdrive and I'm trying to decide if the situation warrants closer examination or if they are just working the territory til they hear 'yes' - then they disappear because they consider consent to have been the prize in the game.

For my own sanity, I dont usually invest because it saves me having to beat their 8sses for thinking they could play me. Apparently the few make it painful for the many....

_____________________________

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"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 18

RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 7:11:36 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter
Apparently the few make it painful for the many....

As it has been and ever shall be, unto the breaking of the godsdamned world.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to MsFlutter)

Post #: 19

RE: Age - what does Mistress prefer? - 6/21/2009 7:36:37 PM

LyraLaLaurie

Posts: 83
Joined: 4/14/2009
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For lifestyle, sexually I prefer someone around my own age, or even younger...and it doesn't even have to be with tools, just good old D/s...I gave an 18 year old the time of his life once and I doubt he had a clue what was going on but he certainly enjoyed it.

For lifestyle, nonsexually I ideally want someone older and focused on what they want. Not that younger men can't be mature, it's just I find those with more experience are more comfortable being a lifestyle sub.

For pro I obviously wouldn't want a younger man draining money on me while he's trying to get himself settled. For the same reasons as above and their own financial security I'd prefer someone older.

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 20

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