question for sub/slaves/Doms re: love (Full Version)

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Jade4Wings -> question for sub/slaves/Doms re: love (8/20/2004 10:40:10 PM)

When you now someone has taken captured your heart, when should You tell Him?

I had no problem before when i was with another Dom but his one i do. He bewilders me to where my heart aches but yet the intelligent part of me thinks it way to soon.

Any suggestions?



stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: question for sub/slaves/Doms re: love (8/21/2004 2:24:38 AM)

Jade,

WOW, has this girl been where you are ... [:)]

stormi was not interested in or looking for anyone for anything
Then one day met the hubby a friend......... He was cranky, and made this
girl blush from head to toe with just a look.

Now pushing 18 months later, He not only has her devotion but her heart.

Follow your heart....it could be as easily as ... "love when you do so and so"
work the "love" into conversation and see where it leads and His reaction.
Then you will know.

Or ...... if like this girl, just be blunt. How do you feel about a "deeper" relationship
or one that also has strong love in it. This girl tends to go for the direct answer.

Fortunately, it work in stormi's case.

Be Well,
stormi
property of Master Bear



pixidust -> RE: question for sub/slaves/Doms re: love (8/21/2004 3:42:37 AM)

This one can be difficult...some of it is a fear i think of being rejected on some level. When we are kind of "caught of guard" per say. Maybe not so much "telling" him should be the thought as "showing" him. Send emails, e-cards, leave a message on his phone...things like that.

Good luck :)

pixi



sweetpleaser -> RE: question for sub/slaves/Doms re: love (8/21/2004 5:24:44 AM)

Congratulations!! Love is so wonderful. I'm with Pixi on this one. Email, send cards, put little notes on the bathroom mirror, slip notes into his briefcase. When he shows his appreciation for these things start signing them with "Luv" or "Love". He will get the picture. Good Luck!!!

I'm so happy for you.
ann



theroebabe -> RE: question for sub/slaves/Doms re: love (8/21/2004 6:02:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jade4Wings

When you now someone has taken captured your heart, when should You tell Him?

I had no problem before when i was with another Dom but his one i do. He bewilders me to where my heart aches but yet the intelligent part of me thinks it way to soon.

Any suggestions?


To me when it pops out of your mouth unbeknownst to your brain is the time to tell the other. I do not use the L word lightly. It has been few and far between the times i have used it since to me it means more than platonic feelings, but alas i am a hopeless romantic and this has been found to be uncurable to me. So when i do feel it, i hope the person knows it and can see it by the time it comes whispered from my lips.

Roe



subbiejenn -> RE: question for sub/slaves/Doms re: love (8/21/2004 6:29:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jade4Wings

When you now someone has taken captured your heart, when should You tell Him?

I had no problem before when i was with another Dom but his one i do. He bewilders me to where my heart aches but yet the intelligent part of me thinks it way to soon.

Any suggestions?



thats tough and i know where Y/you are at. Where Y/you heart aches and He leaves Y/you breathless! i don't take the "L" word lighty either as someone else posted.

i am actually where Y/you are, i even changed my profile here on collarme to NOT LOOKING . for me i am taking things slow, enjoying what W/we have now. i have a fear of saying it to soon and scaring Him... lol i have started to sign "some" email Luv ... He lives 3 1/2 hrs from me so most of O/our relationship is still online and phone and this is one of them things i want to hear in person. Maybe next time i see Him :)

My advice is just follow Y/your heart and it will come.. If it is "true love" there is no real rush because it isn't going anywhere. Give little hints on how Y/you feel. a lot of cards have "love" in them without Y/you directly SAYING it. SHOW Him how You feel and He will know..

good luck, i wish Y/you the Best!

*Hope my Dom dosen't decide to read forum* (giggles, talk about a BIG hint)



Jade4Wings -> re: love and task testing. ty for input (8/23/2004 6:42:42 PM)

To all, who posted up to the date. of this.

Thank-You for all your suggestions/input. Before i read this post (today) i did tell Him when i spoke to Him next i told Him, He i know was not surprised, nor did he respond back on it the way i thought but with kind words i wish to not express in texts.

Then came another test of my hard limits and it was only confirmed what i felt and i tried to do all the task he asked, to me i failed. Yet to Him i passed.

Oh, this Dom/man He surly was not the type of man that i normally go for. Yet, here i am loving a Sir who is younger but wiser and in my old life i would say was extremely not for me, but now He consumes my total life and thoughts. He is honest, and upfront in whom He is and i now accept Him for all He is. Though Him i am finding a new inner me. Now, i know positively He is my type and have no doubt.


this one does not take the word Love lightly. At my age i should know by now what love is. i do now and it scared me, but Yet i need Him.. as i sit here in physical pain from the tasks expected me to complete this past Sat. i too now understand as of this texting why that test of all He could have picked It though bewilders me why He said, this one passed when i feel n my heart i failed Him as I did not get all of it done to the terms He stated at the beginning.

this tasking is hard but then i know this Sir i seek would test my limits on to how and what He feels i can do. Oh, but it was a hard test and only one of many to come. Oddly, i can if i choose to space out and perhaps could have done it better if I had, but this one
needed to do this task knowing the pain, etc.,. and i did because i love Him and wanted to know what He wanted me to gain from the tasks he gave me on Sat. I knew i was in no physical danger as He knows of me like no other man or Sir in my past or present and was closely was He watching me i do not know i was too busy trying to pass.. It was He i saw in my mind as i did as ordered and my feelings for Him get stronger with each passing day.


Regarding some suggestions/input.

i am not able to e-mail, etc., unless He contacts me.
As once i had to learn not to e-mail Him as i took u too much of His time. I am/was going though some issues in the real life so i messed up.

i needed to ask but when i talk to Him he usually replies, " I will be in touch with You" so to me translation is in "His time not mine" He too is a busy man and Have learned not to contact Him, or am trying.



Again, ty for the posts to me i did not find these replies till after i told Him. i too understand not everyone will agree with me but i do accept both kind or not words as feedback from your perspective, though i am one that will read all feedback and reflect, study and then do as i feel best for my Dom. Please overlook my typos.

Thanks again,

jade

"isn't this universe of ours Unique"



WayHome -> RE: re: love and task testing. ty for input (8/23/2004 7:19:27 PM)

"Oh, this Dom/man He surly was not the type of man that i normally go for. "

When the ones you usually go for don't usually work out, this can be a good sign.



Jade4Wings -> RE: re: love and task testing. ty for input (8/23/2004 7:34:46 PM)

hi, this too is true as i have found out. (see text re: this) again ty for your feedback

"isn't this world of ours unique"



Jade4Wings -> RE: hope my Dom doesn't read this (8/23/2004 7:45:16 PM)

All i can say g/f is me too, did not think of it till i re-read Your post. oh my!



Estring -> RE: re: love and task testing. ty for input (8/23/2004 11:35:36 PM)

It seems strange to me that you are not allowed to email this Dom. This doesn't cause any concern to anyone? It would to me.



sweetpleaser -> RE: re: love and task testing. ty for input (8/24/2004 5:52:56 AM)

I agree--sent a red flag up to me. Is he married? Or, it could be a control thing. Kind of limits the good communication you need to have in this lifestyle. And why is he testing her hard limits? Hard limits are hard limits to me.

IMO,
ann



stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: re: love and task testing. ty for input (8/24/2004 6:45:03 AM)

This girl truly hopes that you are in a safe place.

Your post is truly frightening. Is he married???
Why is he pushing "HARD" limits???


Your first post seemed good, your second has big

R E D F L A G S and F i r e w o r k s

going off everywhere.


stormi is in agreement with others here... something is not right.


good luck,
stormi



January -> RE: re: love and task testing. ty for input (8/24/2004 7:13:02 AM)

Jade,

Is this an online relationship you have with your Dom? Have you ever met face to face?

Your last post freaked me out, too. I am very concerned that online orders by your Dom are being carried out by you in RL--and it violates your hard limits. (And apparently causing you pain.)

I have a deep prejudice against the kind of online "play" that requires RL aftercare. Sure, an order can be given online. But, IMO, aftercare CANNOT be given online. Under the best circumstances (which I think you should want, and you certainly deserve) aftercare furthers the intimacy and trust required for a healthy bdsm-type relationship. Where is it here?

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but I think you are in danger. I'm worried that this Dom is not aware of (or doesn't really give a shit about) the great responsibility he has for you if anything is being done to your mind or body in RL.

Best wishes, and please think this relationship over,

January



proudsub -> RE: re: love and task testing. ty for input (8/24/2004 7:41:12 AM)

quote:

Is this an online relationship you have with your Dom? Have you ever met face to face?

Your last post freaked me out, too. I am very concerned that online orders by your Dom are being carried out by you in RL--and it violates your hard limits. (And apparently causing you pain.)


I was about to say the same thing. I have a feeling Jade is wrapped up in the control he is exerting, which as a sub is easy to do. I wouldn't go any further til I was able to find out more about him, via phone and/or cam, or a real life meeting.



Jade4Wings -> RE: re: feedback ty for input Sir Estring (8/24/2004 7:54:08 AM)

Kind Sir,

perhaps i should restate or rephrase it. Not long ago i sent way too many contacts as i was new to His type of training. i was being punished for taking up too much of His time.
and Anger, i should have known better. And do now.

Thus i now do know .. in time... when He is back to my area and we can talk face to face (He is away on a crisis issue one that this one understands clearly ) .

No, He is "not" married, this one know this for sure!


I know of this man personality (off line) and He has shown me, many, many references, taken me to where i need to go to talk to off line and on line support from others and He hides nothing. For some on line Doms are great but it is "not" for me.

i can ask anything to date not one answer has He not given me a responses. Not always is it the one i understood and if so He "always" clarified. (see prior posts)

Perhaps kind Sir you did not read all my post as it was lenthly (working on that, be patient please). and Thank-You Sir for your feedback. I do repect all feedback and take time to reflect and the end result i use my best judegement. ty again, kind Sir this one knows she types long and too much and it can be therefore easily mis-understood.
Please bare too with my typos.

Repectfully,

jade



Jade4Wings -> RE: re: love and Kind re: proudsub hope this is clearer (8/24/2004 8:05:59 AM)

i,

i as always respect your input proudsub and have read many of your posts to others and too note you have a kind heart.

Yes, i only know of this man off line as in the most part but of course like all in life we do e-mail chat etc. and He is there for me when it is needed. I had an emergency (to me) last night and He was there for me within seconds for an example.


He is 100% real in all He does and has been Dom over 15+ yrs. (don't want to say exact years) as i do not want to is the only reason. I need a Dom who pushed me beyond my limits hard and He is this.

. I am innocent in many ways for my old age and D/s not in the vanilla world. I have met many off line Doms and wantabees and studied book wise for year but as He told me books are not people. He has to date tested my limits but not ever said I can or can't do this or that. I am not collared so Yes i can date others.

As i was saying (and should have clarified) that i knew Him off line. i forgot some meet on line only and i am one who needs to met fast off line to ask questions.

i though am new to this format of posting. So bear with me.

*hugs*

jade



January -> Jade's Dom (8/24/2004 8:23:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jade4Wings

Yes, i only know of this man off line.



I know you were replying to proudsub and not me, but I'm still not understanding this relationship.

Can you tell us if you ever met him face to face? have you seen him in person? (Not by phone, not by website, not by friends).

I'm sure other folks want to know so they can respond to your questions about love for your Dom in a reasonable way.



Jade4Wings -> RE: re: feedback from twisted (8/24/2004 8:30:55 AM)

Hi,

Twisted

1. Yes, i have on line to chat as family would but mainly we discuss issues off line in person. and He has spent much time trying to make me understand the wantabees from the real. i did not want to fall for Him it just happened. Now, i need Him.

2. I have more references than i need.. and attended meeting to meet other in city subs and they talk of Him highly he in fact popped in to be sure i felt safe.

3. He is NOT married, i know this for sure.

4. i know more on Him that i wanted to know, but He wanted me to know He is real with and in fact took me to this site, He has much expeience, He believes in collaring but in time.. much time .... (me i want years)

5. i do not want an on line Dom it is fine for some but this one likes to meet within Days of online to know they are real.

In closing i do understand your concerns and thanks *smiles but the topic was not if He was real but i should be more careful when posting.


ty
jade



sweetpleaser -> RE: re: feedback from twisted (8/24/2004 8:42:31 AM)

Jade:

It sounds like you have all the bases covered here. I am sorry if I misunderstood some things. I wish you luck in this new love of yours. I just have one thing I want you to think about. It is totally MY opinion so you can take it or leave it. I do not agree with a Dom who will punish with one of your hard limits. You have the right to tell him so. You will not lose him if he is a decent man. I know that fear of abandonment, but you have to respect yourself and that respect has to be stronger than your fear! I wish you the very best.

Be well,
ann



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