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Cat's Diary - 6/23/2009 11:59:41 AM   
LotusSong


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The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.
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RE: Cat's Diary - 6/23/2009 12:05:39 PM   
CarrieO


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Seen this before and laugh every time I read it.

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RE: Cat's Diary - 6/23/2009 12:26:39 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


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Every time I see this, I have to smile - cause it makes me immediately think about my furry demonchild, the four footed freakazoid Fritz. I swear, there are days that I'm absolutely Positive he's thinking along those same lines...

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RE: Cat's Diary - 6/23/2009 8:48:19 PM   
NeedsFocus


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I am absolutely not a cat person, but I love this. Especially the part about the dog being retarded.

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RE: Cat's Diary - 6/24/2009 8:23:48 AM   
FourQ


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My mate's cat knows I'm acutely allergic has worked it to his advantage for some time now.
The little sod.


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RE: Cat's Diary - 6/25/2009 4:53:07 AM   
sirsholly


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RE: Cat's Diary - 6/25/2009 5:05:23 AM   
mydestiny2043


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I to have seen this a few times,and I never get tired of itIn fact I know my cat has had at least a few of those thoughts....LOL

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RE: Cat's Diary - 6/25/2009 5:38:25 AM   
brandi1379


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i laugh everytime i read this, being a  cat person i cant just imagine what they are thinking when there up to no good 

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RE: Cat's Diary - 6/25/2009 2:22:07 PM   
AlchemicMelody


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Considering I have a cat who loves to twine around my ankles, reading this made me laugh. xD I love my little monster, even though he tries to kill me sometimes. 

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RE: Cat's Diary - 6/25/2009 3:36:01 PM   
BlaiddDrwg


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I chuckle every time that I read this. Especially since my cat thinks that he IS a dog...and gave himself brain damage as a kitten...

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