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RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 2:42:01 PM   
variation30


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Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

No you were trying to make a silly guilt by association argument, and after getting called on it, you are trying to dress it up with sophistry.


as you've consistently misconstrued most of what has been said in this thread, I think you should take my word on what I was doing.

quote:

Of course not all societies are ethical. So what? In the context of even trying to establish that ethics are a good thing and that they imply duties, So what?


I will tell you what...I will posit that the only 'ethical society' is one where no agency monopolizes the use of violence nor does it monopolize decision making. it is a society that acknowledges that the will of the individual is never justifiably subverted to the will of the 'community' or 'society' (as things such as 'community' and 'society' simply do not exist outside of the cooperative efforts of individuals). what is more 'societies' which hold your brand of 'social responsibility' ahead of a respect for the individual are invariably totalitarian (most of which practice some form of slavery).

quote:

This is where I am simply starting to get weary. I know you feel that this is all so deep and so profound. But, it really isn't. This is basic introductory, how to carry yourself as a person 101.


on the contrary, I think this is all very simple. individuals are the only owners of their bodies and property. that ownership should be respected (if you want a more descriptive reason of why I think this is: http://mises.org/rothbard/newlibertywhole.asp#p23 ).

quote:

For example...

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness do not mean "do what ever you want."


I realize that, but what it does mean (Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Property), is that you can "do whatever you want with your life and property." unfortunately america gave up that tenet long, long ago.

quote:

American law has always been balanced by notions of ethics and social responsibility. Can you believe that? Can you believe that the founding fathers never meant it at all as "do whatever you want?"


first off, I would never be so...intellectually sloppy as to group all of our founding fathers' wills into one collective. I would never suggest that hamilton would ever think that life, liberty, and the pursuit of property (or happiness) is the citizen's ultimate goal. what is more, I would never suggest that just because a few men founded a country that all of their beliefs are 100% just and wise. I do not think this is the case (not even in the case of Jefferson, though we was the closest). but I will ask you this, if you read the original constitution (with or without the first 10 amendments) where do you get their notions of 'social responsibility'? can you elaborate what these notions are? the only social responsibilities I see in such documents are the limits of power upon the government.

quote:

As an example, what about freedom of speech? I can say whatever I want right?

WRONG.


you're right, you cannot say whatever you want *whereever you want*. however, on your own property or with your own property, you can. also, do you believe that just because the supreme court rules you can or cannot do something, it is just? I would advise you stay away from legal positivism, as it will only make you look more...well...how you look now.

quote:

Forbidden speech in American law:

1. You can't shout "fire" in a crowded theatre. (because you have a responsibility to not harm others by the ensuing panic)
2. Libel, Slander, Defamation (because you have the social responsibility to not falsely destroy another's reputation)
3. Sedition, calls to harm the elected officials (because you have a duty to uphold the Republic)
4. Disclosure of state secrets (because you have the duty to not give the bad guys an edge in killing our people)
5. Hate speech and incitement to violence. (Because you have the social duty to NOT whip angry mobs into a lynch gang)


I would suggest that 2-5 are blatant disregards and infringements upon free speech. it is not that 2-5 are unjust acts, it is that a government has unjustly cordened these actions as forbidden. 1 comes from a simple minded justice's opinion. it shows a superficial knowledge of rights (rights by their very nature cannot collide or conflict). Rothbard addresses this as such:

"
Consider, for example, the classic example where liberals generally concede that a person's "right of freedom of speech" must be curbed in the name of the "public interest": Justice Holmes' famous dictum that no one has the right to cry "fire" falsely in a crowded theater. Holmes and his followers have used this illustration again and again to prove the supposed necessity for all rights to be relative and tentative rather than precise and absolute. But the problem here is not that rights cannot be pushed too far, but that the whole case is discussed in terms of a vague and wooly "freedom of speech" rather than in terms of the rights of private property. Suppose we analyze the problem under the aspect of property rights. The fellow who brings on a riot by falsely shouting "fire" in a crowded theater is, necessarily, either the owner of the theater (or the owner's agent) or a paying patron. If he is the owner, then he has committed fraud on his customers. He has taken their money in exchange for a promise to put on a movie or play, and now, instead, he disrupts the show by falsely shouting "fire" and breaking up the performance. He has thus welshed on his contractual obligation, and has thereby stolen the property — the money — of his patrons and has violated their property rights. Suppose, on the other hand, that the shouter is a patron and not the owner. In that case, he is violating the property right of the owner [p. 44] as well as of the other guests to their paid-for performance. As a guest, he has gained access to the property on certain terms, including an obligation not to violate the owner's property or to disrupt the performance the owner is putting on. His malicious act, therefore, violates the property rights of the theater owner and of all the other patrons. There is no need, therefore, for individual rights to be restricted in the case of the false shouter of "fire." The rights of the individual are still absolute; but they are property rights. The fellow who maliciously cried "fire" in a crowded theater is indeed a criminal, but not because his so-called "right of free speech" must be pragmatically restricted on behalf of the "public good"; he is a criminal because he has clearly and obviously violated the property rights of another person."
glad I could clear that up for you.

quote:

What about limitations on Freedom of religion? Right to peaceful assembly? Would you believe that we have those too? Would you believe that those limitations are all based on notions of social responsibility?


if you define social responsibility as the fact that it is unjust to tell others what they can and cannot do with their bodies and property, then yes, I would say these are based on 'notions of social responsiblity.' they are not, however, based upon the social responsibility you are espousing (which is the exact opposite of these freedoms.

quote:

Now you breezily come to me and argue about about social systems and American law as if you know jack. It's frustrating. If you knew American law at all, you would never have claimed that it is "in direct opposition to my notions of social responsibility." However, again, you only have the most superficial knowledge of the subjects you are pontificating on. It gets old.


again, why is american law the end all and be all for what is and what is not justifiable between human action? I would argue that thigns such as eminent domain, tariffs, taxation, conscription, etc. are blatant examples of how american law is unjust. your appeal to authority is lacking.

Also, I see you convienently ignoring some of my posts. would you be a dear and elaborate on this # 72. I would especially love to hear your critique of Szasz's claims against the existence of addiction, my claims that social contract is merely a rationalization of oppression, that the 'law of the jungle' promotes willing cooperation fueled by self interest resulting in a divsion of labor, etc.

< Message edited by variation30 -- 6/25/2009 3:02:10 PM >


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RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 2:48:06 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZeroPeople with your mentality are the types that would forbid homosexuals from being able to peacefully have their own relationships decades ago because you found their preferences listed in the DSM II..


or

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/index.html

attention exhibitionists, masochists, sadists, and fetishists. you are one mental health expert's opinion away from being mentally ill.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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Profile   Post #: 122
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 2:54:55 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Addiction...from the disease standpoint...works much the same way.  There are scientific studies that show the genetic changes that take place within humans upon introduction of the chemicals from drugs or alcohol or tobacco.  But those studies show the biggest effect to occur at the beginning, long before a physical and/or mental need has developed.


could you do me a favor and cite those studies? I'm not aware of alcohol, drugs, or tobacco having the ability to influence an individual's genes.

other than that, this post was excellent.


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all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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Profile   Post #: 123
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 2:57:10 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

Have you, yes or no, ever seen someone spiral out of control in this lifestyle? Do you think that is possible?

Have you ever seen or heard of someone get terribly hurt in this lifestyle?

Have you ever seen or heard of a dangerous person who, as a dom would do really awful things?

Have you ever seen or heard of a completely self destructive submissive?

Have you ever seen a chorus of people on these boards start arguing all over the place, when something honestly awful happened or was proposed, that this person consented and "too bad?"

Have you ever seen a chorus of people go off on these boards about the supposed "rights" of the person who did or wants to do something honestly awful?

Have you ever seen these boards then devolve into a discussion that was about anything to do with the event *except actual responsibility* and an acknowledgement that it was wrong?


what I have never seen is so many blatant appeals to emotion.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 3:01:46 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

rather than a bunch of people who could not give a damn for the suffering of others.


Don't forget, this being a BDSM site and all, that some people are really sadists and not only "don't give a damn" but ENJOY the suffering of others. Hell, sometimes they even INFLICT suffering on others - in real life!

Regarding the 'newbies' - Darwin's theory is in play. Sorry - but advice is worth nothing. You can rationalize degrees, but prohibiting a total drunk from leaving a party can be a fun game and eventually he, or she, will get tired and pass out. More likely is the 2-3 drink guest who wrecks going home. Have you denied every house guest their car keys until they pass a sobriety test? You argue degrees and worst case - it happens. It is the person's fault and failing not mine - advice given or taken is a voluntary participation sport. I'm sure a bunch of people died trying to fly with home make bird wings. "Gee Clyde, you may want to reconsider. I don't think that will work"; didn't stop them. Sounds like you want to give the advise so you'll feel absolved from guilt. Or are you advocating for the elimination of all contact and play until both parties are throughly tested psychologically and for their toy use skills.

Just because someone has a single-tail hanging from the Dom -'utility belt' doesn't mean they won't cut you to pieces when they use it on you, intentionally or not. There is no prior testing or licensing to buy any toy. Are you proposing, as a responsible protector of the uninitiated, that there should be?

Posting in your profile that you like to be whipped has no meaning until you meet and get together in real life and see if the whip is made of leather or rabbit fur.

Personal accountability is a bitch but, for now, isn't completely taken over by the government's 'protect me from myself' laws. Everyone dies - it's better to do so as an 'addicted' sensationalist seeking the ultimate orgasm than wallowing in your own excrement in a hospital bed; unless of course - you're into that sort of thing.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 6/25/2009 3:42:01 PM >

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RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 3:11:33 PM   
QuixoticErrant


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No I really wouldn't care to reply on all of that. If you are honestly opposed to libel, slander, sedition, revealing of state secrets and so forth as some sort of improper infringement on speech, I am certain that I would enjoy talking politics with you about as much as having angry ferrets chew on my toes. I simply am not interested with the obvious political overtones that you want to take things in. Love the pursuit of property thing... I mean very bold of you to correct Jefferson, and put in what "he really meant." Please go be some sort of angry pseudo-libertarian whatever on a non-BDSM board.

A short comment on "a social contract is rationalized oppression" is in order because you asked so sweetly.

Depending on how you mean it, the answer is either that of course societies make certain things mandatory and coerce those who do not comply to comply. Indeed, actual felons are coerced by the police all the time. If you are stating this as a fact that societal power always has a measure of coercion, you are correct. You have also said nothing particularly interesting.

If I say that 3X7=21, it is not particularly interesting either.

If though you mean to discount that people also willingly establish and obey social contracts, because they feel they are the right thing to do, then you are simply being silly. There are those who honestly believe in morality and their duties. You know those folks who feel it is a duty to pay taxes, serve in the military or any other service institution and all. This is the other side of the contract.

And, as far as politics or political theory goes, this is all you are going to get from me. It is not because I am dazzled by your brilliance, but rather because life is too short to even go there with you.





(in reply to variation30)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 3:14:11 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

Have you, yes or no, ever seen someone spiral out of control in this lifestyle? Do you think that is possible?

Have you ever seen or heard of someone get terribly hurt in this lifestyle?

Have you ever seen or heard of a dangerous person who, as a dom would do really awful things?

Have you ever seen or heard of a completely self destructive submissive?

Have you ever seen a chorus of people on these boards start arguing all over the place, when something honestly awful happened or was proposed, that this person consented and "too bad?"

Have you ever seen a chorus of people go off on these boards about the supposed "rights" of the person who did or wants to do something honestly awful?

Have you ever seen these boards then devolve into a discussion that was about anything to do with the event *except actual responsibility* and an acknowledgement that it was wrong?


what I have never seen is so many blatant appeals to emotion.


Excuse me, how is the existence of a phenomena an appeal to emotion?

Wait, You know what,

I don't care.

You're right, these things don't actually happen, I am making them up strictly for emotional appeal. They can be ignored.... There be happy and stop plaguing me now.

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RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 3:19:04 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant



Wait, You know what,

I don't care.




But....isn't that the whole premise of this thread? How much you DO care.

_____________________________



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RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 3:21:29 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant



Wait, You know what,

I don't care.




But....isn't that the whole premise of this thread? How much you DO care.


OK that was funny. Touche.

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Profile   Post #: 129
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 6:17:54 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant



Wait, You know what,

I don't care.




But....isn't that the whole premise of this thread? How much you DO care.


OK that was funny. Touche.


Yeah. I'm good like that.

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 130
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 6:46:53 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

rather than a bunch of people who could not give a damn for the suffering of others.


Don't forget, this being a BDSM site and all, that some people are really sadists and not only "don't give a damn" but ENJOY the suffering of others. Hell, sometimes they even INFLICT suffering on others - in real life!

Yes, yes they do, and if their partner is consenting AND everyone walks away from it without getting seriously damaged AND what happened did not negatively affect their lives and livelihoods, have at, have fun. But for those things to happen, people really must actually give a damn somewhere along the way. Again, exactly what the line is for seriously damaged is in a grey zone, but I will say that the finger chopping example (all Yakuza fantasies aside) is definitely in the seriously damaged category. Those who truly do not give a damn, you know the type that masturbates to war footage, because intestines are just HOT, are likely to be quite dangerous to themselves and others - and yes, such a person is called sick and rightly so.

Regarding the 'newbies' - Darwin's theory is in play. Sorry - but advice is worth nothing. You can rationalize degrees, but prohibiting a total drunk from leaving a party can be a fun game and eventually he, or she, will get tired and pass out. More likely is the 2-3 drink guest who wrecks going home. Have you denied every house guest their car keys until they pass a sobriety test? You argue degrees and worst case - it happens. It is the person's fault and failing not mine - advice given or taken is a voluntary participation sport. I'm sure a bunch of people died trying to fly with home make bird wings. "Gee Clyde, you may want to reconsider. I don't think that will work"; didn't stop them. Sounds like you want to give the advise so you'll feel absolved from guilt. Or are you advocating for the elimination of all contact and play until both parties are throughly tested psychologically and for their toy use skills.

In a sense, yes I am advocating that. Most already do it. It is called negotiating with and checking out a potential partner before play starts. While of course there are no guarantees, there are all sorts of cues one can take that would indicate a responsible partner vs. a whacko. I will make a gun analogy.

I am all for the right of responsible people to own fire-arms. The key though is the word responsible. The person who has never seen a heavy machine gun that he didn't like and keeps making bang, bang, bang noises like a little boy, because he just can't wait to shoot something, and who argues that you never need to check that a chamber is clear or that a safety is on - Him I would not be around if he were holding anything bigger than a slingshot. I also would not weep if he could not get a license for a weapon, nor would I advocate for his "right" to have one. By the same token, as a Dom, the "subbie" who just can't wait to have the most extreme things done to her, even though we know almost nothing about each other is a giant red flag. For a submissive, the "Dom" that starts off talking about how he wants to do the most extreme things right away is a giant red flag.


Just because someone has a single-tail hanging from the Dom -'utility belt' doesn't mean they won't cut you to pieces when they use it on you, intentionally or not. There is no prior testing or licensing to buy any toy. Are you proposing, as a responsible protector of the uninitiated, that there should be?

This is completely true. Please see above.

Posting in your profile that you like to be whipped has no meaning until you meet and get together in real life and see if the whip is made of leather or rabbit fur.

This is also completely true, though I don't understand why you are saying it here.

Personal accountability is a bitch but, for now, isn't completely taken over by the government's 'protect me from myself' laws. Everyone dies - it's better to do so as an 'addicted' sensationalist seeking the ultimate orgasm than wallowing in your own excrement in a hospital bed; unless of course - you're into that sort of thing.

It's interesting that you are bringing up personal accountability. Part of what has been offending me has been the ways that people ignore personal accountability - like arguing that they are sadists, so they get to enjoy train wrecks. To my mind, you are personally accountable to look out for others.


< Message edited by QuixoticErrant -- 6/25/2009 6:50:51 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 131
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 6:47:04 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


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quote:

If someone has been drinking at your house, is obviously smashed, and wants to drive themselves home, do you let them? Yes, or no?


No, but they consent to giving up their keys before they get to drink. If they want to keep their keys, I don't serve them alcohol. If they want to drink, I get to keep their keys. To me, this isn't about my friends and their right to drink and drive. Aside from the fact that my friends are nearly as rabid about personal responsibility hand-in-hand with personal freedom as I am, if one of them wanted to drink and drive on hir own turf, at hir local pub or in hir own home, or anywhere where it isn't -me- serving them, they can be assholes and do so, and accept any consequences, including the blood of an innocent bystander on their hands for the rest of their lives. When I'm the one serving the alcohol, I get to decide who gets to drink in my house, so if you don't hand over the keys when you arrive, you're basically telling me you're a designated driver.


quote:

If your best friend is consenting to get in the car with them (a drink driver), do you let them? Yes, or no?


Short answer --Yes. If I couldn't talk hir out of it by citing common sense, and offering to give hir either a place to sleep, cab fare, or a ride home and reminding hir that hir driver might kill someone, including -hir-, didn't thwart hir from hir decision, then yeah, as much as I cared for hir, xhe made hir choice, and that is absolutely hir right.

Sorry, but people have the ultimate right to be idiots with their own bodies if they choose to do so... and they are ultimately responsible for the outcome. The deepest gift of friendship I believe I can give my friend is recognition of hir dominion over hir own body.

Now... if we're talking one of my servants... hell no on both counts... because xhe has abdicated ownership of hir life and body to me, for as long as xhe wears the House collar. As such, hir welfare is my responsibility, and I take that most seriously.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 6/25/2009 6:50:51 PM >


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(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 7:02:59 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

quote:

If someone has been drinking at your house, is obviously smashed, and wants to drive themselves home, do you let them? Yes, or no?


No, but they consent to giving up their keys before they get to drink. If they want to keep their keys, I don't serve them alcohol. If they want to drink, I get to keep their keys. To me, this isn't about my friends and their right to drink and drive. Aside from the fact that my friends are nearly as rabid about personal responsibility hand-in-hand with personal freedom as I am, if one of them wanted to drink and drive on hir own turf, at hir local pub or in hir own home, or anywhere where it isn't -me- serving them, they can be assholes and do so, and accept any consequences, including the blood of an innocent bystander on their hands for the rest of their lives. When I'm the one serving the alcohol, I get to decide who gets to drink in my house, so if you don't hand over the keys when you arrive, you're basically telling me you're a designated driver.

I have exactly the same policy. Though to be honest, I have never had a problem with any of my friends on this issue. The BDSM analogy then is, if you are going to play in my house, you are not going to do anything that has a serious risk of getting someone killed or maimed.


quote:

If your best friend is consenting to get in the car with them (a drink driver), do you let them? Yes, or no?


Short answer --Yes. If I couldn't talk hir out of it by citing common sense, and offering to give hir either a place to sleep, cab fare, or a ride home and reminding hir that hir driver might kill someone, including -hir-, didn't thwart hir from hir decision, then yeah, as much as I cared for hir, xhe made hir choice, and that is absolutely hir right.

Sorry, but people have the ultimate right to be idiots with their own bodies if they choose to do so... and they are ultimately responsible for the outcome. The deepest gift of friendship I believe I can give my friend is recognition of hir dominion over hir own body.

I hear what you are saying, but I very strongly disagree. I think that if you are going to be doing something stupid on my watch, I have the duty as a friend to try to dissuade you. I once had a friend who got deeply depressed. At a party, she disappeared and I became worried. She was crawling out of a window (on the 8th floor to jump) when I came into the room. I still sometimes shiver with the thought that I might have been two minutes later if I had stopped to take a leak. I ended up grabbing her back in and restraining her. She was angry enough at the time to try to bite me. About three weeks later though, she thanked me with all her heart. She got therapy. She is currently a successful attorney and the happy mother of two kids

Now... if we're talking one of my servants... hell no on both counts... because xhe has abdicated ownership of hir life and body to me, for as long as xhe wears the House collar. As such, hir welfare is my responsibility, and I take that most seriously.

This is telling.. See you really do care... you old softy... Actually said with a smile and nicely. I feel EXACTLY the same way about my charges.

Dame Calla


< Message edited by QuixoticErrant -- 6/25/2009 7:20:59 PM >

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 9:46:18 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

No I really wouldn't care to reply on all of that. If you are honestly opposed to libel, slander, sedition, revealing of state secrets and so forth as some sort of improper infringement on speech, I am certain that I would enjoy talking politics with you about as much as having angry ferrets chew on my toes. I simply am not interested with the obvious political overtones that you want to take things in. Love the pursuit of property thing... I mean very bold of you to correct Jefferson, and put in what "he really meant." Please go be some sort of angry pseudo-libertarian whatever on a non-BDSM board.

A short comment on "a social contract is rationalized oppression" is in order because you asked so sweetly.

Depending on how you mean it, the answer is either that of course societies make certain things mandatory and coerce those who do not comply to comply. Indeed, actual felons are coerced by the police all the time. If you are stating this as a fact that societal power always has a measure of coercion, you are correct. You have also said nothing particularly interesting.

If I say that 3X7=21, it is not particularly interesting either.

If though you mean to discount that people also willingly establish and obey social contracts, because they feel they are the right thing to do, then you are simply being silly. There are those who honestly believe in morality and their duties. You know those folks who feel it is a duty to pay taxes, serve in the military or any other service institution and all. This is the other side of the contract.

And, as far as politics or political theory goes, this is all you are going to get from me. It is not because I am dazzled by your brilliance, but rather because life is too short to even go there with you.


that's a whole lot of dodging.

if people willingly pay into government through taxes, that's fine. that's not oppressive in the least...but if an agency forces everyone to buy into it, well, then there's a problem. and every explanation, from the free rider 'problem' to social contract theory, fails to justify why a government is justified in doing things that the individual citizens cannot.

and people who willingly serve in the military aren't signing a social contract...they are signing a real one.

and I realize that as far as political theory goes, this is all I"m going to get from you. whenever someone falls back upon social contract theory, I realize they know very little about the topic (or when someone claims the constitution is a document that demands social responsibilities or that egypt/rome were societies built upon ethical social responsibility).

every point I've raised that has pinned you down, you've ignored. you care nothing about backing your with substance and illustrating why they are just. all you care about is feeling right. this thread has made that clear.


_____________________________

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or old.

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Profile   Post #: 134
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/25/2009 10:14:18 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
Oh how pathetic,

If you can make the point germane to the general BDSM conversation then fine, have at. Right, my point was that all societies rest on some system of rules, laws and ethics that the citizens are bound by - and that ethical standards apply even in BDSM.

I didn't say that Egypt or Rome was built on ethical social responsibility with the same standards we have today. I said that they certainly had very strong notions of social responsibility.

Consider the Latin word civitas. What does that mean? Why did the Romans have a word for the concept? What did Cicero's oratories about it mean? What is the story of Cincinatus? If you do not know the Latin, google it. hint, we get the word civics from it. The very existence of the word proves my point. Cicero, Cincinatus and Ovid will only make it clear.

Don't be silly.

If you honestly believe that American law makes no ethical demands on the citizenry, then you clearly have not read it. If you honestly believe that there was ever a serious movement in American jurisprudence that effectively said that the citizens do not have social responsibility, you know nothing of either the law or our history.

What is a draft for instance? Why is it mandatory? Could the justification for it be the social responsibility to defend your nation in time of war? Did we ever have a draft? If we ever had a draft, we have an implied social responsibility in the law. Is it legal to falsely advertise? Is it legal to sell poisonous things as medicines? Could it be that we are imposing ethical standards on sellers when we make such laws?

Don't be silly.

Actually, I am certain that you have read lots. You simply do not understand it. You look at it through whatever bizarre filter that causes you to misconstrue what you have read. It is much like the kids who want to argue creationism in biology class and get their "science" from the Discovery Institute.

I mean consider your smug line about taxes. You only got half the picture. Yes many do buy into the system and pay willingly - as they should. In fact, taxes are voluntary (voluntary in a way that only an attorney could use the word). What happens to you if you don't volunteer to pay? This is most assuredly coercion. Does that mean that the government should not collect revenue for the common benefit?

And the sound bite about people joining the military signing a real contract, not a social one... Wow, that is a sound bite without a speech.

What you don't seem to get is that I don't want to hear the speech. I'm sure that you think your political and historical analysis are the most brilliant things since Magna Carta. Good on you. I am not going to take my thread into debating what you thought Jefferson really meant or whatever other thing you have in mind.

Even if I thought that would serve a purpose, I simply have no desire to argue political theory with you because you have proven that you are not someone who has sufficient contact with reality to argue it with - and I refuse to waste my time. I have seen enough of the buzz words that you try to use to know that I will simply hate the experience. When someone wants to proudly proclaim that there is "nothing to justify why a government is justified in doing things that the individual citizens cannot" they have already announced that they have some really extreme political views of the sort that can not be reasoned with. As a great history professor of mine once said, "I do not need to take a bite to know a shit sandwich won't be good."

Actually, I violated my rule here enough by even responding this much.

Really, this is the last. Do with it what you will. Tell you what, you win... American law has no notion of ethics in it - feel better.

< Message edited by QuixoticErrant -- 6/25/2009 11:04:43 PM >

(in reply to variation30)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/26/2009 6:47:36 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Addiction...from the disease standpoint...works much the same way.  There are scientific studies that show the genetic changes that take place within humans upon introduction of the chemicals from drugs or alcohol or tobacco.  But those studies show the biggest effect to occur at the beginning, long before a physical and/or mental need has developed.


could you do me a favor and cite those studies? I'm not aware of alcohol, drugs, or tobacco having the ability to influence an individual's genes.

other than that, this post was excellent.

I'm sorry...brain fart.  What I meant to say was the neurologic synaptical changes, not genetic changes.

Thank you for the compliment.

(in reply to variation30)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/26/2009 7:24:40 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

We agree on almost everything you have said.

The only thing that I would add, is that there is still merit in the notion of action and responsibility. There is always merit in speaking the truth.
You'll get no argument from me there, when it comes to my friends, dominants/submissives I care about, or my submissive.  But it is not MY job to take responsibility for and thus initiate action for/towards another who is of a legal age.  Just because I think something is nutso...another example given:  suspension while opening multiple cuts...doesn't mean that everybody does.  I assume these people know the risks and have weighed them out.  If they have not, it is STILL not my job to do it for them because of what I know the outcome might be.  Responsibility, to me, involves a whole lot of PERSONAL responsibility.  That has to do with anyone in my sphere.  If you are going to be my submissive, yes I am going to take on a lot of responsibility for you BUT you always retain the right to make choices including the choice to walk away.  That way, I end up with a submissive who is forced to look within herself and decide things like:  "am I submitting because I want to, because this person inspires it within me OR am I submitting because he hits all the right buttons and things haven't gotten hard yet?"  OR:  "do I understand that if he puts a gun in my mouth and I don't "prohibit" it, then I have made the choice to trust him with my life?  Do I understand that if he does breath play, then I have put my life in his hands?  Do I understand the implications of that?" and then make a choice.  I do the same thing as a dominant and so I, just as she does, have the responsibility to look within myself and ask things such as: "Do I understand that dominance/submission and caring about someone as my dominant/submissive means that I choose to make their feelings and thoughts a priority over other dominants/submissives' thoughts and feelings and thus have a responsibility to safeguard and care (and for the dominant, guide) those thoughts and feelings along a path to further knowledge?"  If I understand it, do I now choose it?"

quote:

I mean, when you say that you would hope that the submissive would have the sense to not do whatever... I agree. The problem is that there are those who might not. We both see it. I hear you.
Yes, there is that problem.  But you and I see it differently.  I don't want to be anyone's nannyist and as an ex-G.I., as a self-employed health care provider/business owner, as a hot rodder and biker, as a dominant, I don't want the government or anyone else telling me I CAN'T do something.  Now, is that within boundaries?  Of course, it is...I understand that the government CAN tell me that I can't cheat on my taxes, that the government can tell me that I can't murder someone, etc..  But those are actions designed to save others from my darker instincts, not to save me from them because if I so chose, I would still do them.  But, when the government steps in and tries to tell me that I have to wear a seatbelt to "save my life" or that I can no longer allow people to smoke in MY establishment because "never mind those that wish to smoke on their evening out, there are others who wish to come here and enjoy themselves who don't smoke" when the reality is that they are saving me and my smoking patrons from ourselves...then I don't like it.  Once I have warned a submissive/dominant that they might want to reconsider their play with each other when it concerns a dangerous play situation, then I have done my part and, hopefully, have not walked away with a bloody nose for my "socially responsible" efforts.

quote:

I also hear, I really do hear your point about the limitations of what an individual can accomplish.

However, Suppose, just suppose that the one who was about to do something really dangerous came to these boards and found an atmosphere that didn't say, oh well, not my problem - or she consented, too bad.

Just suppose instead that there was actual support for her, and a notion of giving a damn.
And in many posts, that is what she finds...even those who let her know that she did sign up for it and agreed to it.  The question that is often raised is this:  "it happened.  you agreed to it.  you found that you didn't like it/hated it/feared it/realized it could end up in permanent damage.  What are you going to do now?"  There are numerous threads in which ways to get out of an abusive situation or how to deal with a dangerous play partner are spelled out even while recriminations are made.  If you are one who suggests that no recriminations be made, then I have to say to you that it is not going to happen.  Many of us in BDSM tend to see what we do as being for adults and as being for those with a logical mindset and so have somewhat of a difficult time with someone who displays the sort of mental acuity that most likely got them in trouble in their vanilla relationships.

quote:

What about the newbie submissive who has met a set of abusive cranks and thinks this is it, she just has to lump it if she wants to have the lifestyle? Seeing openly that not all kinksters could care less, and that not all of us are abusive would be beneficial for her.

Suppose you have a newbie Dom that imagines he can do anything, carefully saying that no you can't just do anything, might well cause him to think twice or look for advice on how to do something safely.
See last paragraph of mine above.

quote:

However, all of the open, declarations of who am I to say anything, only encourages ignorance and harm for such people.
If that is all they choose to listen to, sure it does.  But if they look at all the answers within a given thread, they are bound to find that one that says "hey...step back a minute...is that REALLY what was in your mind and heart when you signed up?  If it wasn't but you signed up anyway, then the bad is on you.  That DOESN'T mean you can't realize your mistake and either sit down and renegotiate or walk away".  Now, given how many times I've seen just those words, I wonder how you have missed them.

quote:

So while I hear you, I really do honestly, and I would much prefer that this thread had been about how D/s can get addictive for some people, it got turned into a much more basic discussion of if morality even exists in principle.

For all of the newbies out there, I would like to suggest, that kinksters can be moral upstanding good folk too, rather than a bunch of people who could not give a damn for the suffering of others.

Consider your example of "gun play." If someone had brought that up on these boards, and someone called that crazy, irresponsible, reckless and wrong - people would flip out. There is no one true way! She consented to having a gun in her mouth! Too bad if it went bang, everything has risks! and so on and so on... There would be a high end discussion on personal freedom as to why it could not be suggested that loaded guns and BDSM do not mix or that someone should try to prevent others from playing that way.

That's disgusting.

Just perhaps if it were called what it is, as in completely out of your mind insane, and that "dom" had seen message after message saying how crazy he was, or perhaps his poor sub had seen it, one of them might have gotten a clue on.
Again, see above but let me add this.  I have no problem with telling someone that what they might be intending on doing is crazy...but once I have done that, I have done my part.  I am not going to call the police and tell them "hey, so and so are having a fight and he has a loaded gun in her mouth".  I am not that nanny-istic.  I save whatever nannyism...as someone from outside D/s looking in might call it...for MY submissive.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 6/26/2009 7:36:07 AM >

(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/26/2009 9:18:16 AM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

Oh how pathetic,

If you can make the point germane to the general BDSM conversation then fine, have at. Right, my point was that all societies rest on some system of rules, laws and ethics that the citizens are bound by - and that ethical standards apply even in BDSM.


BDSM is not a nation. none of the denizens of this forum, or of other forums, or of local communities, are bound together by anything except willful participation. the only thing people on cm are bound by are the ToS. if I disagree, I leave. if I don't like the rules at a local dungeon, I don't participate. if I don't like the hardlimits set up by a woman, I leave. this is in stark contrast to territorial monopolies on decision making (i.e. government) where it is impossible to simply 'buy out' of the system and go my own way.

and let me guess your response: "if you don't like it you can get out." my question would be 'what right does a government have to tell me I have to forfeit my property and find property elsehwere'. my parents bought land that was untouched. they cleared it, cultivated it, made it into pastures (for quarter horses), built a home there, built the road that leads up to it, and maintained the property. why does this propert belong to anyone other than them? the only answer is 'because the government says so.' and let us not forget that the government is not some autonomous entity that acts, it's nothing mroe than a collection of individuals. so in essence, the reason we cannot, for instance, grow marijuana to sell to cancer patients on our property is because other people say 'well...if you do it we'll come in with guns and take your property from you/force you to stay in a prison..'

do you see the difference between 'bdsm' and our...'ethical societies'. the former is based upon free association which ends the moment any individual feels their energy and property are best spent elsewhere and teh latter is based upon one group of individuals using violence of the threat of violence to ensure certain services from another group of individuals.

the only 'ethical standards' that apply to bdsm are consent and the respect for that consent. it's unfortunate that such standards aren't applied to many more situations.

quote:

I didn't say that Egypt or Rome was built on ethical social responsibility with the same standards we have today. I said that they certainly had very strong notions of social responsibility.


you seem to be arguing for the moral and just, and then you use nations that are undoubtedly immoral and unjust in their aggressive wars, slavery, etc. you then point out 'oh but they had laws'. well, obviously they had laws, that does not make them right (unless you like the idea of legal positivism, which it seems you do).

and what is ethical does not change over time. if something is ethical, it is always ethical and will always be ethical. slavery did not magically become an unjust act in 1864, it was always unjust, it was just tolerated. I would imagine someone claiming to be the champion of morality to understand this.

quote:

Consider the Latin word civitas. What does that mean? Why did the Romans have a word for the concept? What did Cicero's oratories about it mean? What is the story of Cincinatus? If you do not know the Latin, google it. hint, we get the word civics from it. The very existence of the word proves my point. Cicero, Cincinatus and Ovid will only make it clear.


cicero's oratories meant cicero gained power. cincinatus, on the other hand, did what he did because of his own subjective values. what you are saying is since the romans had a words for citizen's feelings, you are correct. now I've only studied one book on symbolic logic but I'm pretty sure you're missing a few vital steps before you achieve a true statement. let me see, how can I show you how you are wrong.

ah, how about this, 'who are the citizens?' for instance, if civitas is concerned with the wellbeing of the citizens or the Roman people, would it be fair to say that an emporer, brimming with the milk of human kindness, would try to lift up his fellow man by hosting a great spectacle in which slaves were forced to fight one another to the death or be torn apart by wild animals. under your definitions of ethics, social responsibility, and morality, this would be a 'good' thing. I would suggest that, no matter how well intentioned, it is still unjust.

I see you didn't look up any of the speeches regarding the need for community and unity within the German "Volk". if you did, then maybe you would avoid such embarrassing examples.

p.s. was augustus sacking private citizens homes, murdering them, and stealing their property to fund his campaign towards tyranny a just act because he had the citizen's well being in mind?

quote:

Don't be silly.


ok.

quote:

If you honestly believe that American law makes no ethical demands on the citizenry, then you clearly have not read it. If you honestly believe that there was ever a serious movement in American jurisprudence that effectively said that the citizens do not have social responsibility, you know nothing of either the law or our history.


I said read the constitution, with or without the bill of rights. if you read it, which I doubt you have, you will see nothing dealing with 'ethical' demands upon the citizenry. at least not at the federal level. the constitution was destroyed pretty quickly though, as evidenced by your post. the supreme court ruined the document to where it means next to nothing.

I know enough about law and our history to know that judicial review is not in the constitution. I also know enough about law and history to know that most of our laws are in direct conflict with the constitution (namely the 10th amendment).

quote:

What is a draft for instance? Why is it mandatory? Could the justification for it be the social responsibility to defend your nation in time of war? Did we ever have a draft? If we ever had a draft, we have an implied social responsibility in the law. Is it legal to falsely advertise? Is it legal to sell poisonous things as medicines? Could it be that we are imposing ethical standards on sellers when we make such laws?


the draft is nothing other than slavery. there is no justification for it. you are using the words ethical and legal as if they were interchangable. decide which you want to argue as such sloppy thinking obfuscates any point you are trying to make.

I will leave you with one thought, if something is legal, will it always be ethical?

quote:

Don't be silly.


ok.

quote:

Actually, I am certain that you have read lots. You simply do not understand it. You look at it through whatever bizarre filter that causes you to misconstrue what you have read. It is much like the kids who want to argue creationism in biology class and get their "science" from the Discovery Institute.


that must be it. this explains why you, you who understand so much, have yet to illustrate any failings in my arguments. your only rationale is 'well other people force people to do things, ergo it is right for me to force people to do things.' most of my points are ignored by you and you keep appealing to emotion and authority with a few pseudo-pathological ad hominems (e.g. I have a bizzare filter that hinders me from seeing the world as it really is because the only way someone could disagree with you is if such a bizzare filter inhibited their normal functioning or that I simply say the things I say due to an addiction) thrown in for good measure.

quote:

I mean consider your smug line about taxes. You only got half the picture. Yes many do buy into the system and pay willingly - as they should. In fact, taxes are voluntary (voluntary in a way that only an attorney could use the word). What happens to you if you don't volunteer to pay? This is most assuredly coercion. Does that mean that the government should not collect revenue for the common benefit?


and as I acknowledged, people who willingly buy into taxes are not who I am referring to, but to individuals who only pay taxes out of fear of retribution by the government. I would be willing to bet a vast majority of individuals, given the option to cease paying taxes and fund services privately, would stop paying them. how many people would stop paying their social security or income tax? lots. gas tax? lots (especially with more and more private roads popping up and out performing public roads). sin taxes? hell, probably everyone.

what is the common benefit? if taxes truly benefited every citizen, then why is taxation forced throught he threat of imprisonment or confiscation of property? perhaps it is because such things are NOT for the common benefit (what a vague phrase that is).

but let's take another route, a government can take people's property, even if it is against their will, for the common benefit. well...should private industries do the same? should comcast, for instance, be able to take a percentage of everyone's property so they can supply everyone (even those who don't want their or don't want to pay for their service) with wireless internet? this would be for the common good, would it not? would you agree to this?

let me preempt you by saying that here is where you are getting confused: there is no common good. allow me to repeat that. there is no common good. why? because collectives are meaningless. there is nothing that is good for all people except letting them decide what is good for themselves and allowing them the liberty to achieve such ends through whatever means they feel is best. in order for a common good to exist, the citizenry would have to all believe the same thing. as each individual has a different set of values and ascribes different levels of desire to such values, the common good is impossible. what is more, any misguided clinging to a common good will inevitably pummel the liberties of individuals who do not ascribe to the same values as the...enforcers of the common good. 

quote:

And the sound bite about people joining the military signing a real contract, not a social one... Wow, that is a sound bite without a speech.


...um...the contract one signs to join into the military is a real contract in that it is on paper, one signs it, and it is empirical proof that the individual agreed to and understood the terms of the arrangement between himself and a branch of the military.

I'd like for you to find a social contract that is as 'real' as that one.

quote:

What you don't seem to get is that I don't want to hear the speech. I'm sure that you think your political and historical analysis are the most brilliant things since Magna Carta. Good on you. I am not going to take my thread into debating what you thought Jefferson really meant or whatever other thing you have in mind.


that would be wise. you've dodged most other points relevent to this discussion (namely the disease model of addiction) out of the knowledge that you know next to nothing about the actual subject and just say whatever feels right.

quote:

Even if I thought that would serve a purpose, I simply have no desire to argue political theory with you because you have proven that you are not someone who has sufficient contact with reality to argue it with - and I refuse to waste my time. I have seen enough of the buzz words that you try to use to know that I will simply hate the experience. When someone wants to proudly proclaim that there is "nothing to justify why a government is justified in doing things that the individual citizens cannot" they have already announced that they have some really extreme political views of the sort that can not be reasoned with. As a great history professor of mine once said, "I do not need to take a bite to know a shit sandwich won't be good."


...hm...well, I suppose you can go back to your reality where it is ethical for certain groups of individuals to use violence of the threat of violence to coerce other individuals into living life in a manner they do not see 'moral'.

quote:

Tell you what, you win... American law has no notion of ethics in it - feel better.


no. you lost a long time ago.


_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/26/2009 10:53:06 AM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30



that would be wise. you've dodged most other points relevent to this discussion (namely the disease model of addiction) out of the knowledge that you know next to nothing about the actual subject and just say whatever feels right.



Since you have such a hard on for this point, I will elucidate.

I took the liberty of reading your profile. You play the drums for a living. Do not front yourself as a authority on psychological models of anything.

Let me elucidate the bizarre filter that you see the world through. You play the drums for a living. You are NOT an authority on psychological matters.

Neither am I. I do not claim to be.

That is why my statements were of a general nature. You see, I was trying to establish that there actually *is* a problem first, which is a separate issue from dissecting the fine lines, models and technical details of the problem. There really is a problem for some people in the BDSM world. If you wish to give the problem a different name, fine. Let's just accept that there can be one first.

I used the language of illness at one point. I used it in the very common usage of the word illness - meaning that someone has a physical or mental problem that impairs them or makes them not 100%. I welcome the input of people who are actually qualified to speak more precisely, on the actual medical science, to help refine the notion. The rest of us are stuck with trying to share our own observations and experiences as clearly as we are able to.

However, I do not welcome attempts to obfuscate that an issue even exists in the first place, by the use of jargon, from people who are not qualified.

Now, you can object to using the English language in a manner that is commonly understood. I know that while you were in drum school, gaining clinical experience with addicts, they taught you all sorts of special, technical, words for talking about such things. My apologies.

As to your political views, nope, still not biting. There is no common good.... keep on trucking with your bad self...

Actually, that one does interest me as a psychological point.

You say that there is no common good with the certainty that 2+2=4 while failing to recognize that a great many much better men then you died to establish and defend the society that allows you to safely harbor such indolent and self serving views.

Yes, that is an emotive argument, but, it only applies emotionally to people who feel things like gratitude.

It is also, for someone who does not feel gratitude, to the social contracts that allow them to exist and live the lives they do, a practical point of actual reality. This is part of what I meant by a bizarre filter that you see the world through.

This is why you can say whatever you like about the constitution, and it is not worth arguing. I know that you had to write a brief on Marbury vs. Madison and all (no judicial review in the constitution... I LOVE IT!) while you were learning how to tune your drums, but debating with you on such matters would require you knowing something about actual case law and precedent. By the way, Marbury vs. Madison is where we get the notion of judicial review from. It is an upheld interpretation of the constitution since the earliest days of the Republic, but what would be the point of arguing this with you? No amount of evidence would change your views. So sorry, let's keep it to BDSM shall we - and that is why I find you a fascinating sort of creature. This issue is no longer the constitution per se, but of your ability to perceive reality.

You are so keen to establish some right for yourself to do whatever you want to, that you are willing to ignore the basic and well established facts. You are so interested in trying to establish that whatever you want is "just ok" that you are willing to pretend that the world actually does revolve around you and that any evidence to the contrary must be false - to the extent of denying clearly established facts. That's my real point about bringing Marbury v. Madison - which is one of those cornerstone legal things that people study in high-school, or in bringing the reality that the world you live in, and benefit from, was forged by those who believed in social contracts - even if the notion of a social contract bothers you when it is not convenient to your style. Another example is on how you go on about how the government can not coerce anyone to do anything and that such a thing is wrong. Really? What do the police do? Is it wrong for them to arrest criminals? Is that not coercion? This is not to debate constitutional law or any law, with you, but rather to point out, that you are not dealing in reality and that if you were not blinded so deeply by your own narcissism, you would see the world through a less bizarre filter.

This is a problem that I see a lot on these boards. I am not talking about things that honest people can legitimately hold different opinions on. I am talking about willful rejection of clear fact.

Further, it is this very narcissism that is so dangerous in relationships in general, let alone the BDSM world. This is the sort of narcissism that allows people to not only be willfully, but smugly blind.














< Message edited by QuixoticErrant -- 6/26/2009 11:51:42 AM >

(in reply to variation30)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: On addiction and D/s - 6/26/2009 12:23:52 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
This is incredibly well written, and you have made too many good points for me to give you the response you deserve. I agree with you on most points.

I would say, that much of any contention we might have would be cleared up in the following way.

There is a difference between stating that a problem exists and debating the proper solution to it.

Right now, I am still working on defending the notion that problems can exist in the first place. I am not arguing for a nanny state. Solutions to the problem though must start with accepting that one is actually there. The fact that people might think about potential pitfalls, and hence try to avoid them is also a big part of any solution, and that does not require any nannying.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 140
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