RE: True submission?

RE: True submission? (Full Version)

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IronBear -> RE: True submission? (6/25/2009 9:26:39 AM)
FR This is the reason I advocate a reasonably long courting period including some time spent together over night etc. At least you have the chance to see each other at their worst.... First thing in the morning without make-up unshaven and what ever. showering together you can pick up all sorts of good info about the other person too like skid marks in undies and other stuff vital to start a good relationship. perhaps he snores or even grabs you by the hair and holds your head under the bed clothes after he has farted as punishment... So much you need to learn before you even consider submitting to anyone.

CaptainSex -> RE: True submission? (6/25/2009 11:51:33 AM)
TPE is true submission.

xiam -> RE: True submission? (6/25/2009 2:26:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHexx ....and didnt get yourself into something that was abusive. Calling it "abusive" is a bit extreme, IMHO. It's purely a matter of taste.

OsideGirl -> RE: True submission? (6/25/2009 7:55:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CaptainSex TPE is true submission. What is "twue" to you, is not always "twue" to someone else.

kdsub -> RE: True submission? (6/25/2009 8:34:33 PM)
Will my 2 bits...You did exactly the right thing...There should be a reasonable meeting of the minds between you two before you enter a relationship. Another agreement on how to address problems that may come up after the initial agreement. Sounds like a contract...will it should. You must know what you are agreeing to physically and mentally. If not you are asking for a failed relationship and perhaps putting yourself in danger. Butch

Subbieariana -> RE: True submission? (6/26/2009 4:32:00 PM)
Thank you for all your advice... and yes I had my profile in Hidden mode..now it's available for viewing. I was uncertain of my decision, and I needed some feedback from more experienced people so I could read and think things through...I tried to explain to him that I was uncomfortable with the scenario he was proposing, and mentioned that I wanted to get to know him better. To which he replied that spending the night/weekend together was bonding time... to get to know each other... and in a way I agree but wasnt that comfortable with giing myself 100% to a man I've never met...

Subbieariana -> RE: True submission? (6/26/2009 4:40:46 PM)
NihilusZero, I asked this question like I said to get feedback from more experienced people here on the message board, and I wanted to read their answers, not criticism as to why I am asking this question.

Subbieariana -> RE: True submission? (6/26/2009 4:42:14 PM)
I had put my profile in Hidden mode... and no it was not gone.

QuixoticErrant -> RE: True submission? (6/26/2009 4:57:33 PM)
My honest response is that you have a creeper. You are clearly not experienced, and if he is pulling this, either he is not so experienced himself, or he should know better. The fact is you need to get to know people before you play. You need to do a thorough negotiation without the constraints of control. The whole point is negotiating how much control you will surrender. I am not going to rule out play on a first date happening spontaneously, if both parties are that comfortable with each other and honestly had spoken enough before hand, but to expect such a thing is a very big red flag. To me, it means that he does not respect you enough to play with. Either that, or he is just really new himself, living out a fantasy of what he thinks you two both want, and doesn't know any better. I am leaning toward the former though.

SpankU2tears -> RE: True submission? (6/27/2009 12:33:50 PM)
...insecurity about letting you set ground rules?

WyldHrt -> RE: True submission? (6/27/2009 12:51:36 PM)
quote: I tried to explain to him that I was uncomfortable with the scenario he was proposing, and mentioned that I wanted to get to know him better. To which he replied that spending the night/weekend together was bonding time... to get to know each other... It's fairly obvious that he wasn't listening to you, just trying to manipulate you into doing something you had already told him made you uncomfortable. For me, this is a major red flag, as I prefer a dominant that wants me to be comfortable with him before things progress. Going with your gut instinct is always the best move, and something that is easy to forget when you are new to this. Good on you for doing the right thing [:D]

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