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Here's Your Sign - 6/24/2009 9:40:27 AM

beargonewild

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Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?"

"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "No - We talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it!"

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. Said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me! Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So.. Is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering' a bridge...here's your sign."

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RE: Here's Your Sign - 6/24/2009 10:40:44 AM

FourQ

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My ex saw me in the kitchen with the food processor running, tomatoes, kidney beans, chillies, Tabasco sauce (Habanero), mince and various other ingredients out, the pan on the hob and asked me what I was doing. I told her the server had crashed and was trying to fix it. She actually responded with "but the server's upstairs". Had she worn a sign when we met it would have saved a world of trouble.

One night when exiting the lodge in a full set of leathers I unlocked the disc lock on the front wheel, unlocked the D lock on the back, unlocked the steering lock, sat on the bike before pulling on my lid and gloves to be asked by a pissed eejit "Here mate, is this your bike?"
It turns out that a couple of lads in the lodge had kicked it over earlier that night and had bragged about it openly. Someone weighing a mere 102lbs (approx) had threatened someone resembling Big Mick (260lbs+ of muscle who'd picked the bike up and placed it back on the side stand) saying "leave the bike alone or I'll kick your f'kin head in!".
I suspect the signs were invented for kids like this.

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RE: Here's Your Sign - 6/24/2009 10:44:33 AM

sirsholly

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<---scampers off to make signs for Rain and Potsie

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