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ishyB -> RE: 24 / 7 : Fact and Fiction (6/25/2009 2:25:06 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: aLittleKitten
The idea of 24/7 gives me the kneejerk reaction of hiding behind BDSM when you're in reality someone who doesn't see your partner as an equal, or someone with the ability to make their own decisions.
Greetings LittleKiten,
while I don't really consider myself to be involved in BDSM per say (Master is Gorean, and from that philosophy the motives for keeping slaves are very different from the motives of the general BDSM community) I am kept in a type of relationship like the one you mention so I'd still like to offer you my perspective.
Master does not see me as an equal at all. His pet, in a quite literal sense would be a much better description of how he views me.
But I'm not his equal/partner/lover/team mate/friend AT ALL. Not even close. He doesn't respect me either, nor does he love me, though he has said that he is quite fond of me.
And you know what? I don't want all that either, because *I* don't consider myself to be his equal/partner/lover/team mate/friend at all not do I seek his respect.
Further, he does consider me not to be capable to make my own decisions -at least to some degree.
The way I'm kept he still think that I should be capable picking out my own color of nail polish, or what I'm going to wear that day. But big decisions or long term plans? Nope, he doesn't consider me qualified to make decisions like that. He doesn't even thinks he needs my imput on them, though at times he will still ask stuff to know how I feel about things.
And again: I happen to agree with him, which is why I sought this type of relationship in the first place.
Other than that I'd like to mention that we do not use safewords, don't practice SSC, nor do be practice RACK. He pretty much can do whatever he wants with me, and should I not agree with something he's doing, basically my only option is packing my bags and leaving.
Now I understand that something like that is hard to understand for somebody with the perspective of just keeping it in a play environment with an equal partnership as a basis of that play. Just keep in mind that with the people in these type of relationships it is BOTH parties wanting it, and not the Dominant forcing the slave into 24/7 when they don't want to (no usually at least.)
For me, if I was single and somebody would contact me with the offer of a partnership based relationship, with safewords and mutual respect in place, then I would just not be interested at all....
I wish you well,
ishy
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