"Tell me more about yourself"

"Tell me more about yourself" (Full Version)

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littlesarbonn -> "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 4:17:34 AM)
Some time ago, I went through a lot of work to create a profile that pretty much summed up everything I thought was necessary to know about me. Yet, for some bizarre reason, I always seem to get first contacts that say something along the lines of "tell me more about yourself". And I really don't know what to say. I mean, it's such an open-ended question, and I don't know what interested the person about me in the first place. I'll go to read their profile, and it's short and sweet, so I literally know NOTHING about them in which to even try to continue the conversation. So I end up committing the cardinal sin of collarme; I end up not responding. I don't mean to be rude, but one gets really, really tired of responding with a lot more information and then getting a one line response that sort of repeats the previous statement again, "tell me EVEN more about yourself" so it feels like I'm writing a blog that only I'm reading. I don't mean to call anyone out or to start any kind of flame war. I'm just curious if this is a common situation with everyone else. I'm sure a lot of the women get it from guys who are hoping to get wackoff material in a lazy way, but I think this is a lot different, as I don't believe the intention is anywhere near the same.

Oberonrex -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 4:30:24 AM)
I tend to ask it when there is either not a lot of information there, or when the information is a bit too focused. It is nice to know that someone lives to have X done to them, and even the details and sub details. Yet, it is also nice to get a feel for the whole person since X is not their whole life. Do they work, like their work? What foods do they like? Music? Part is looking for some common interest, so that can then serve as a springboard for further discussions that let both parties learn about each other and become comfortable with each other. For if there is no other mutual interest beyond X... Yes, it is awkward, but an e-mail or IM is sort of like a blind first date (or meeting someone somewhere). You have a rough idea about them, but are trying to see if something is there that sparks both. So, you open with a general question hoping they will give you something that can be followed up, or just let you know if you should run away. I've always wondered if a couple of people I've met over the years who were into interrogation scenes were reticent simply to provoke a scene...

amayos -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 4:41:55 AM)
This is why I tend to like moving to the phone early on in the exchange of contact; it saves a lot of time and frustration for both parties, especially if the communications are ultimately doomed to failure (finding out after thirty minutes of discussion vs. two weeks of tediously lobbing e-mails back and forth is preferable to me).

IrishMist -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 4:54:22 AM)
I tend to reply depending on my mood [&:] If I am in a good mood, I usually answer with something along the lines of "well, what would you like to know", a bad mood, well a bad mood gets a nice, short, rude, comment back [8D] I will agree with Oberonrex though, that more often than not, the person is trying to open up a communication, and get a feel for you. I would assume that most are looking for some general comments back to see if there is any common interests. Your best bet is to just go with your instincts. If there is something in their profile that strikes a chord with you, answer back with some mundane interests and see where it goes. If not, then let them know that you do not understand what they want to know, and could they please clarify?

Cloudz -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 5:01:42 AM)
Hello, Your post led me to read your profile and while it generated a lot of questions, and areas that I would explore further with you...there was definitely no room for "Tell me about yourself" In your case I would use that question as an automatic screening process. IMHO anyone who could read your profile and NOT engage in specific questions or comments...is not anyone you would ultimately be happy with. When I have to ask general questions, due to lack of info in profile, I at least try to narrow it down a little. "Why did your last relationship end?" "What about being a submissive do you find satisfying?" - Something to at least jump start the conversation, whether it be over the phone or in email. When I get the "tell me about yourself" question I always reply with "What would you like to know?" When I get the inevitable answer of "Everything" I say something along the lines of "I was born in Lansing, Michigan and moved from there when I was very young. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was young, oh and I am allergic to shellfish." A response like that either ends the correspondence or generates more specific questions. You sound like you are very clear about what you seek, and I hope you find all that you are looking for.

servingwench80 -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 5:15:28 AM)
For me, and a lot of other subs I'm sure, I often get the question "What are you looking for?" Now, this might not be a bad question, even if it is tediously common. But I tend to wonder if someone has even looked at my profile when I get this. I thought I made it pretty clear that at the moment, I just don't know. A lot of those emails don't get answers from me simply because I'm tired of always having to explain over and over again that "I don't know." It's frustrating enough not to know. I don't want to have to keep rehashing that. I know I'm not going to figure it out without putting some serious thought and experience into it, but simply asking me a question I've pretty much already answered isn't going to help. And if that's all there is to the email, without any kind of opening for more discussion about them or me or anything at all.... sorry, I'm not going to bother.

MsIncognito -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 5:21:22 AM)
I'll join you in not being particularly fond of this question. When I start speaking to someone and we're still in the getting to know each other phase being told to 'tell me more about yourself" sounds like a job interview rather than a budding friendship. It always makes me a tad uncomfortable to just blather on about myself. For me part of the fun of getting to know someone new is to listen and ask questions based on what they tell me. If someone expresses an interest in art I'll ask them what kind of art, which artists, etc rather than a lazy "tell me more" because I know how tedious it can be on the receiving end of "tell me more."

MsIncognito -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 5:22:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: servingwench80 For me, and a lot of other subs I'm sure, I often get the question "What are you looking for?" Now, this might not be a bad question, even if it is tediously common. OK, I'll admit this question is another that I'm not fond of either. I tend to respond with "I'll know it when I see it" which doesn't usually sit well with those who take an a la carte approach to getting to know people.

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 5:25:10 AM)
quote: For me part of the fun of getting to know someone new is to listen and ask questions based on what they tell me. If someone expresses an interest in art I'll ask them what kind of art, which artists, etc rather than a lazy "tell me more" because I know how tedious it can be on the receiving end of "tell me more." I think phrases like "tell me about yourself" and "tell me more" are, at best, lazy communication. There is certainly no give and take - for a conversation to be satisfying to most people, there really needs to be disclosure on BOTH parts. In other words...don't ask me to tell you a bunch of stuff about myself without telling me a thing about you. I know for me, it's a surefire way to get me to slam doors shut. Generally, I try to push a conversation PAST basic q&a - if there's resistence to that, then the conversation is over.

xxblushesxx -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 5:50:28 AM)
First off...guilty! Secondly, I also try to throw in some interesting (in my opinion) information about me, or chat about well...anything...current events, things on the news, things on his profile that interested me, or on mine, that I wonder about for him... Basically, as if you met someone at a cocktail party. With some it flows naturally, and we banter, spar and play...with others, no matter how nice you are, or careful not to offend...something just isn't right. (and never will be!) I'll try not to ask that too often anymore though, and at least be aware of how others may perceive it. Thanks for this thread!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 6:17:14 AM)
I agree, it's a lazy question and not very good to start things off with. But try and be positive about it. If you want to have fun, respond with something like "Well when I wear lime green underwear and dance to Charlie's Angels, I feel truly myself"

RavenMuse -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 6:25:30 AM)
Guilty in certain circumstances. Namely where there is nothing much in the profile to give me a sense of the person. If they have a detailed profile then there isn't much need for it as you can narrow things down, spot points of interest you might have in common and focus on them.

Wildfleurs -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 6:27:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn Some time ago, I went through a lot of work to create a profile that pretty much summed up everything I thought was necessary to know about me. Yet, for some bizarre reason, I always seem to get first contacts that say something along the lines of "tell me more about yourself". And I really don't know what to say. I mean, it's such an open-ended question, and I don't know what interested the person about me in the first place. I'll go to read their profile, and it's short and sweet, so I literally know NOTHING about them in which to even try to continue the conversation. So I end up committing the cardinal sin of collarme; I end up not responding. I don't mean to be rude, but one gets really, really tired of responding with a lot more information and then getting a one line response that sort of repeats the previous statement again, "tell me EVEN more about yourself" so it feels like I'm writing a blog that only I'm reading. I don't mean to call anyone out or to start any kind of flame war. I'm just curious if this is a common situation with everyone else. I'm sure a lot of the women get it from guys who are hoping to get wackoff material in a lazy way, but I think this is a lot different, as I don't believe the intention is anywhere near the same. When I was single I hated getting that question because it meant that the effort I had put into writing a profile that outlined what I wanted just wasn't even being read. So like you I usually just ignored questions like that. C~

MHOO314 -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 6:33:16 AM)
Acquittal!---I use the phrase, tell Me about you--the man inside you--that in the past has been in response to a full profile--I see what you have written I see that you have checked---to that reponse, I will either get, I need to have XXX done to me---eh, off the list or I get a nicely written response about the human that lies behind the profile--I want to hear you speak from your soul--

ownedgirlie -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 8:01:54 AM)
my Master and i spoke a few times in IM before moving to a phone call. It was during that phone call he wanted me to tell him about myself. i felt awkward and a little clumsy. i learned later what he was looking for was not the information i was giving, because he could find that out in due time, but to see how i presented myself, as he found that to be most telling. Was i condifent? Unsure? Full of myself? Not full enough of myself? Etc. Aside from that, i had often received that question numerous times from those "lazy" types and i agree it did get annoying. i contemplated just sending my resume and saving the effort.

foxglove716 -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 8:28:44 AM)
Yeah I dont really like the "tell me more about yourself" question either. I usually reply with a bunch of arcane details about myself. "I woke up at 8:32 this morning, I never step on cracks on the sidewalk, my hair grows very slow, Im deathly afraid of moths..."

perverseangelic -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 8:40:19 AM)
I nearly always replay with "well, the basic BDSM stuff is covered in my profile, feel free to ask about that. As for the rest of me, what are you interested in knowing?" I dislike questions that general.

IronBear -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 8:50:33 AM)
I've never received the "Tell me about yourself" question. proably because I'm specific what I want and the location they will need to be in. However I do contact a few people from a friendly aspect rather than searching and I prefer to make a general comment about either their profile or their posts. Then I'll comment on the aspects which we have in common and ask specifioc questions.

sunshine333 -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 8:59:57 AM)
quote: But try and be positive about it. If you want to have fun, respond with something like "Well when I wear lime green underwear and dance to Charlie's Angels, I feel truly myself" omg that is hysterical. i will definitely have to remember that one!! ~sunshine

KnightofMists -> RE: "Tell me more about yourself" (2/14/2006 9:00:33 AM)
there is two things to consider with a question like that. One... generally the more popular of the two.... It's a lazy question and the person can't seem to read your profile and come up with any real thoughts/quesiton to begin a conversation. They also seem to not know what they want themselves and somehow if you give a response that resonates with them the conversation will get going. Which is strange thinking in of itself since your profile was rather involved, but obviously it didn't resonate with them, so why would they think an email from you be any better? These types of people really are not of much concern for you... and likely they could be wasting your time. Two... When we write a well written profile, we spend alot of time and effort and thought on it. Usually though we are not spending near the time or thought on the email. By asking such a question, the person is giving you on the spot opporutunity to present yourself. A comparable analogy would... be appling for a job. You send in your resume and cover letter. Then you go in for the interview, how many times do they ask what is very much on the resume itself. In the interview you are presenting yourself in the "NOW" your resume was a presentation you did in the "Past". Consider that your profile is a "Past" presentation and each time you recieve an enquire.. it' is in the "Now" The "past" don't matter at this point... your trying to "land the job" "get the sale" or more importantly "Make a connection with the Domme" in your case. So Sell yourself.... I read the profiles and am often impressed with the depths of thought and experience that they have shown..... But can they talk!? can the just carry a conversation. Do I have to pull things out of them... Can they give of themself easily... is it intrinisic to there nature just to share and express themself. My suggestion... every time you recieve such a question... Answer it ... but answer it in the vain of what is in your profile. meaning... Look at your profile and provide alittle more depth in the email than what is shown in your profile. Keep the subject/content to what is in your profile... but increase the depth or knowledge alittle of what is there... maybe you share something as you write the email as well that just comes to you. Also, make sure that you read the profile of the Domme that ask you this question... and end with asking question of the Domme.... Questions that directly reflect her profile! Option one is clearly not what you want... but option two might very will be the case. You are only looking to make one connection... do you want to miss out on the option two.. just because you assume everyone is option one. I would add, that male submssives far out number the Domme's. so Domme's have a buyers market out there.! They are buying! and will buy the product that is promoting themself the best in all sitautions. They can be very picky and rather elusive and still be have line of submissive interested in them. I would also note... that even the lower quality of them are in good situation, just consider how in demand the very best of them are. You want the very best don't you!? So put the effort in.... I would think it is worth it to you!

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