eager to learn.

eager to learn. (Full Version)

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sweetsub41 -> eager to learn. (6/25/2009 12:10:18 AM)
hello to all! this little thread has been started in the hope of aquiring the advice of the more experienced Dominants. i am fairly new to the lifestyle. lucky for me, i am involved with a most wonderful Dom. i was hoping to get some insight on what a new sub might study, in order to become a better sub in His eyes. oh yes, He has laid out directives and made clear His likes and dislikes. i am posting this to gather thoughts and possibly surprise Him in the process. Thank You to those who offer advice, it is greatly appreciated!

Asherdelampyr -> RE: eager to learn. (6/25/2009 12:45:16 AM)
get a few good cookbooks seriously does he like massages? there are some wonderful books on how to properly massage someone. The real trick here is to basically perfect your duties as assigned. Nobody can give you a list of things that every sub must know, because it doesnt really exist. You stated that you spoke with him regarding his likes, my advice would be to study the things that he likes, so that you can do them better :) Good luck and congrats

DarkSteven -> RE: eager to learn. (6/25/2009 3:11:17 AM)
Don't surprise him. I hate it when a sub "surprised" me with something that Doms like, to find out that I am not like all Doms. The research has value. Do it, and then sit him down and say, "I've read that a lot of Doms like XXX. Would you like me to do that?"

dreamerdreaming -> RE: eager to learn. (6/25/2009 6:05:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub41 hello to all! this little thread has been started in the hope of aquiring the advice of the more experienced Dominants. i am fairly new to the lifestyle. lucky for me, i am involved with a most wonderful Dom. i was hoping to get some insight on what a new sub might study, in order to become a better sub in His eyes. oh yes, He has laid out directives and made clear His likes and dislikes. i am posting this to gather thoughts and possibly surprise Him in the process. Thank You to those who offer advice, it is greatly appreciated! My best advice is to ask him.

OsideGirl -> RE: eager to learn. (6/25/2009 7:50:00 AM)
Learn to make his favorite food Read his favorite book Learn how he likes his food. Master likes his coffee black, strong and in a smaller cup. He likes his sandwiches cut diagonally. He likes his steak done medium. He dislikes chicken still on the bone. He wants something to drink before his meal and another one during. He likes his beer dark, in a glass with a medium head. He likes wine = take a wine tasting course He likes massage = learn how to give one. He likes to soak in the tub = learn about ceremonial bath rituals He likes sports = learn about his favorite sport It's really about paying attention and being proactive rather than surprises.

leadership527 -> RE: eager to learn. (6/25/2009 9:57:28 AM)
@sweetsub41 Don't you think it'd be more productive to look inside yourself? What exactly does the word "submission" mean to you? What is it that you are offering? If you are tempted to answer anything that sounds like "My entire self" then erase the sentence and start again. Why are you doing so? If you say, "because it's my nature" just erase that line and try again What sort of relationship are you hoping for? SPECIFICALLY, not "happily ever after". You would be a better sub in my eyes by knowing yourself and being able to offer whatever it is that you offer from a standpoint of inner strength and conviction as opposed to empty fantasies and misplaced trust. If I wanted any particular sub parlor tricks, I'd just command them. The simple answer to your question... "Us doms like blowjobs."

maia09 -> RE: eager to learn. (6/25/2009 11:37:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Don't surprise him. I hate it when a sub "surprised" me with something that Doms like, to find out that I am not like all Doms. The research has value. Do it, and then sit him down and say, "I've read that a lot of Doms like XXX. Would you like me to do that?" Not a Master, but from my side of the kneel, YES YES YES to what DarkSteven said. i think it's important to learn HIM, not some fantasy or model of what you think a sub is "supposed" to be. Talk with your Dom, observe Him and always check to make sure anything you think He'd like, He would actually like. At the risk of sounding like a complete idiot - ask anyway. Once you know Him a bit, you may experiment with being more proactive in your service. Your "surprises" will be things you know He enjoys, rather than things He may not have ever even thought of.

antipode -> RE: eager to learn. (6/25/2009 5:06:54 PM)
quote: become a better sub in His eyes. What's that you say? He's a Dom? Ah, now I know all about him. You think this will be a meaningful conversation by your not providing any information about the guy in question? In the vanilla world, a girl might say "my boyfriend is a broker and likes skydiving" or "my husband spends time with his kids from a former marriage". When you provide no information, you can't expect advice pertaining to your situation.

cagliostro -> RE: eager to learn. (6/25/2009 9:33:49 PM)
Learn to read him. I think there's a book called, The Body Language Book, or Reading Body Language, something about body language. He'll appreciate when "you know" what he's thinking. It means that you pay attention, and that he doesn't always even need to "tell you."

Fitznicely -> RE: eager to learn. (6/25/2009 9:40:15 PM)
Well damn, Cagliostro beat me to it... Learn what He likes, His routines and simple pleasures and impress Him by pre-empting his needs. Does the trick for me, I can tell you.

SailingBum -> RE: eager to learn. (6/29/2009 7:39:08 AM)
keep your mouth shut and your ears open. Simple shit BadOne

xiam -> RE: eager to learn. (6/29/2009 7:53:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 What is it that you are offering? If you are tempted to answer anything that sounds like "My entire self" then erase the sentence and start again. Why are you doing so? If you say, "because it's my nature" just erase that line and try again What sort of relationship are you hoping for? SPECIFICALLY, not "happily ever after" I'm curious as to this particular bit of advice... Is it because you feel such answers are too vague, predictable, or knee-jerk? And yes, if all else fails, learn to give exquisite head!!! :D

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