Please help me (Full Version)

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mck1959 -> Please help me (6/26/2009 11:26:36 AM)

This might seem like an odd question but I have been trying with several different Mistress over the last couple of years to receive or get what is referred as a “Therapeutic cleansing spanking” one were during I can just let go and cry, this makes any sense. I have never been able to cry as long that I can remember. I enjoy the sessions with all of the women and they came some very hard spankings but I never got to the point were I could let go. I have been tied to a spanking bench so tight that I could not move and blistered raw and crying then one women wrapped me in plastic wrap so I could not move then laid me over some pillows mounded up on a bed so my butt was higher, then she cut the area around my butt free from the plastic wrap and paddled, strapped and caned me, but no crying. The last one tried the some what material approach were she stripped me then took me by the ear and turned me over her knee and pined my legs down with her other leg and took a very heavy lexan paddle with hole drilled in to it and just paddled me to almost death, my but was covered with blisters and she kept saying that she was not going to stop until I was balling and I truly wish I could just to make her stop but I just not let go and cry. Now is there something I can suggest to my Mistress or is there any thing I need to do before hand as prep. I have even been hypnotized to get me to a more submissive relaxed state.



angelikaJ -> RE: Please help me (6/26/2009 11:44:33 AM)

Not everyone is going to cry from a spanking, no matter how hard/long it is.



Ambyant -> RE: Please help me (6/26/2009 11:46:33 AM)

Aside from 'do-me' plastered on that post, it looks to Me that you had no emotional relationship with any of the people involved.  Mayhaps that is one asspect that is missing.
Looks like hitting your butt is not the way for you to achieve your crying release.
Have you asked any other bottoms about it?




lovingpet -> RE: Please help me (6/26/2009 11:52:53 AM)

I agree with previous posters.  I will also state that some submissives do not cry during sessions.  They are stoic.  Further, if it is this needed that you cry and you really believe this bottling up to be harmful, you need to be in therapy.  This is not necessarily because you are some whackjob, but because when that release finally does come, I don't know many people that will be able to handle you properly and in such a way as to not cause you harm.  Even you have  no idea what might come bubbling up at that moment.  Just some thoughts.

lovingpet



Lockit -> RE: Please help me (6/26/2009 11:59:56 AM)

I would think that what stopped you from crying in life was an emotional thing and it would need to be addressed with more than a blistering.  A beating, blistering spanking and such is physical and you are asking for an emotional release from a physical thing.  Now many can have that and do that, but they do not have the same issues of not being able to cry.  You can keep trying to get your relief in this way, but there is an emotional block that may require more.  I don't believe there is a way around emotional homework that needs to be done.

To tell your dominant?  Be amidextrious so your one arm doesn't give out or look into the emotional aspects of it all.



onlyfreelycaged -> RE: Please help me (6/26/2009 1:12:20 PM)


the thing that brings that release is being safe to let go. I have to know that I'm safe. that nothing will harm me. The easiest way to do this is with pain, and massive amounts (or at least for me.) Maybe you have to just find what's safe to let go.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Please help me (6/26/2009 1:29:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ambyant
Aside from 'do-me' plastered on that post, it looks to Me that you had no emotional relationship with any of the people involved.  Mayhaps that is one asspect that is missing.
Looks like hitting your butt is not the way for you to achieve your crying release.
My sentiments exactly!    M



CatdeMedici -> RE: Please help me (6/26/2009 1:31:16 PM)

A therapeutic spanking comes not from the pain of the spanking but the ability to break through the emotional wall that makes the spanking meaningful.  Its an emotional experience regardless of the level of pain, or not.



thetammyjo -> RE: Please help me (6/26/2009 3:02:13 PM)

Perhaps you can't let go because you don't really feel you are in a safe enough place to let go?

Maybe you can't let go because spanking isn't the best way for you to cry in this fashion?

Why do you think you need to cry like this? If you can answer that question it might help you figure out how to get what you want.



Politesub53 -> RE: Please help me (6/26/2009 3:39:41 PM)

I agree with the previous posters. Whatever is stopping you from crying also stops you from crying during spanking. The points made this being emotional and not physical are spot on.



OttersSwim -> RE: Please help me (6/27/2009 6:26:29 PM)

Disclaimer, this is SthrnCom4t typing under Otter.... :)

First, sorry I haven't read all of the above responses, so if anyone else has made this point, I apologize for the redundancy.

In massage therapy school we learned about emotional and mental armoring. In other words, if someone was armored, a deep tissue massage wasn't necessarily what was needed to break through......sometimes it could be a soft touch, secondary to being 'not' what the body was expecting.

You need emotional relief, but obviously spanking your butt is not necessarily the way to facilitate that release. A little more study into your psyche might help the person Topping you figure out which buttons need to be pushed. Also, it might not be a single thing, but a recipe delivered in a particular sequence.

Sometimes we get to the edge, and sometimes we don't. One session will yield a particular response on a certain day....do the same exact thing on a different day...different results. Do the same thing 10 times in a row, and session 11 might get you something completely different.

We are dynamic beings, not only physically and mentally, but emotionally as well.

Emotional release is an expulsion of energy. It can be triggered physically, but also through mental channels. Consider 'stage-fright' or reactions to humiliation. (whatever that is for you individually).

Perhaps doing some exercises on your own with the intent of being more present, in your body, and emotionally open could help you connect prior to your next session?  Meditation and visual imagery are two of the genres that come to mind. Also, being in a more connected type of relationship where there is on-going training could also be helpful.

SthrnCom4t disguised as Otter :)



DarkSteven -> RE: Please help me (6/27/2009 6:52:01 PM)

You may want to try being scolded for the particular thing you need to be punished for. Combining that with a spanking might put you in the proper mindframe to be sorry, and to get a release.



rc4otkVA -> RE: Please help me (6/27/2009 7:16:39 PM)

The first time I was able to let go during a spanking it was with a dominant who I'd seen several times. When ever I did something wrong I went to him to be disciplined, and I cared about disappointing him. That session, I thought of alot of as many things as I could that I had guilt about, and emailed him to discuss those things with me before my punishment. After being scolded for a list of things, I was spanked for each thing seperately, given time in the corner between to think about everything more. The more I was forced to think about the reasons I was there, the more theraputic the spanking was. I cried like a baby halfway through, and he was going to stop, but I asked him not to. I left cried out, with a raw backside.

Any therapy is a mental thing. You have to let your dom know why you need it, keep it in mind, and feel like they will take care of getting you to where you need to be emotionally.



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