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Its a pain for everyone - 6/26/2009 1:09:53 PM   
Esinn


Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline 		Correct me if I have used the wrong search phrases but this topic has been defunct for a bit.

I find the thought of myself sleeping with another male in a sexual way turns my stomach.  Disclaimer: I am being personal not judgmental. I have had such ideas presented and the situation quickly deflated.

When I play with a sub/slave I am inclined to introduce or think about sex/sexuality.  It does not need to be immediate but my implied eventual sexual gratification is on the mind. For obvious reasons the same is true with the daughter fantasies I/we have been thinking about.

When fulfilling sadist desires I can play with both m/f.  There is another 'satisfaction'  I can receive without bringing my sexual gratification into the picture.  That said I do enjoy this type of play w/females more. I believe this is because of personal fetishes.

Before 'residents' jump me with standard comments I know there are as many answers to this as there are people.  I am interested in how common this is along with additional comments you have on this topic.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/26/2009 1:26:22 PM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		as a bottom, I prefer to separate sex from the rest of play. I can do both just fine with no emotional attachments, but combining the two together requires more of a commit, for me.

as far as being a top, I don't really know yet... I'm still figureing it out. But I do know that I don'w always want to have sex with the people I'd like to play with.

(in reply to Esinn)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/26/2009 1:30:09 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		you think exactly how i think, though i did play with females sexually to base my own conclussions on...

other than that, i guess i'm missing the question so i think it's time for my afternoon nap


(in reply to Esinn)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/26/2009 1:43:37 PM   
Esinn


Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

you think exactly how i think, though i did play with females sexually to base my own conclussions on...

other than that, i guess i'm missing the question so i think it's time for my afternoon nap

There is the infamous what's the question comment .

Why do you view sub/slave/daughter relationships as something that needs personal sexual gratification and Sadist play/relationships as something which always does not.  I wish to hear from others on this topic.



(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/26/2009 1:55:37 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

you think exactly how i think, though i did play with females sexually to base my own conclussions on...

other than that, i guess i'm missing the question so i think it's time for my afternoon nap

There is the infamous what's the question comment .

Why do you view sub/slave/daughter relationships as something that needs personal sexual gratification and Sadist play/relationships as something which always does not.  I wish to hear from others on this topic.


I don't.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to Esinn)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/26/2009 2:17:35 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I think it is more common than not to want to have play with people you find sexually desirable even if you know you aren't going to have sex with them. In fact, I think it is rare for people to be able to separate the two.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/26/2009 3:05:42 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		While play doesn't necessarily mean it'll be sexual, it's still an expression of intimacy to me (as is a cuddle or sleeping in the same bed, for eg) and I only do it with the female of the species. And not just any ole female, either....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Esinn)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/26/2009 8:32:30 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		As far as sex goes I am as gay as I can be, but I can and do play with women who are my friends. We have a connection, non sexual but a connection normally. The play can be sensual just not sexual.

Mike

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/27/2009 11:30:34 AM   
Screwtape


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/9/2009
Status: offline 		Why would you want to play with someone you are not sexually interested in? 
I am not suggesting that sex figures into the scenario, but a general chemistry should be there.  If you have a desire that only someone (you would not normally be attracted too) can fulfill, then you will have your answer.  If your desires can be fulfilled by people you prefer and have a sexual connection with, than you are in a great place.



_____________________________

“Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.”

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/27/2009 11:42:37 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I don't separate 'play' from sexuality (Nor do I really like the word 'play' particularly but I digress) so, for me, it would be impossible to separate those factors.  Even if I'm not 'getting off' from a particular activity or there isn't penetration or whatever, it's still, to me an exchange of energy and an intimacy.  Obviously, some intimacies have greater depth than do others. 
  Davan


_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Screwtape)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/27/2009 11:43:58 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		It would depend on the slave and what we had originally agreed on at the start. I am open to a basic service slave/maid without any involvement with sex or BDSM just as I am open to a good service slave/maid who will be at times sexually involved with both Lady Neets and I either alone or us all together as well as some areas of BDSM play such as bondage and needle play as I desire it. If I consider a girl to change her ownership from the Home to me personally, the latter will be what I will be looking for as well as a number of other atributes and abilities. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Screwtape)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/27/2009 2:36:31 PM   
Born2BMasochist


Posts: 42
Joined: 6/19/2009
Status: offline 		As in there are differant kinks for everyone, i believe that the perception of this is differant for everyone. That being said, here is my perception. I entered into all this through a friend whom was of the male gender. When i met Him, He knew my views on the male anatomy. I do not like it. I am more into females then males. Bottom line. I state to many people I am lesbian because my husband is the only man i want to see without pants. So once he introduced me to the dynamics of the lifestyle, and broke it all down for me, him and i have played. I have found that what him and i have is not linked to the sexual relationship, intimacy i would have with my husband. It is entirely differant for me. Each relationship symbolizes something differant in my sex life. Because i do believe the BDSM stuff is part of my sex life, just a differant part.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/27/2009 4:07:00 PM   
BarnacleBill


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline 		Sex is all to some. and to others is not important as is the trainging of others. Some get off on spanking or whipping bare bottoms and others dont.

We all have different kinks likes and dis-likes and we should keep our minds open for others as well.

(in reply to Born2BMasochist)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/27/2009 4:33:43 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

Correct me if I have used the wrong search phrases but this topic has been defunct for a bit.

I find the thought of myself sleeping with another male in a sexual way turns my stomach.  Disclaimer: I am being personal not judgmental. I have had such ideas presented and the situation quickly deflated.

When I play with a sub/slave I am inclined to introduce or think about sex/sexuality.  It does not need to be immediate but my implied eventual sexual gratification is on the mind. For obvious reasons the same is true with the daughter fantasies I/we have been thinking about.

When fulfilling sadist desires I can play with both m/f.  There is another 'satisfaction'  I can receive without bringing my sexual gratification into the picture.  That said I do enjoy this type of play w/females more. I believe this is because of personal fetishes.

Before 'residents' jump me with standard comments I know there are as many answers to this as there are people.  I am interested in how common this is along with additional comments you have on this topic.



What you've said is fairly common, at least among those males that are able/willing to play with both genders.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Esinn)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Its a pain for everyone - 6/27/2009 5:02:34 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I don't really seperate the two, to me the gratification of my sadistic desires tends to inflame my sexual desires. On a few rare occaisions it has not, or the sadistic release was intense enough to satisfy the sexual desires as well (not making me cum, just sating me completely so I had no desire to continue in a sexual way), but usually one leads to the other.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 15
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