|
kneelingrebel17 -> RE: "...I like what You like..." (8/12/2009 7:46:14 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: masteredwin
As a domme I think the question "what do you like?" is not the right way to ask.
Obviously I do expect a sub/slave to have some idea what she likes or dislikes.
I do however ask her if she likes specific things, like being tied up, or being spanked.
Better yes, I have her rate those on a scale from 1 to 10.
Another approach is to have her describe some of her fantasies to me, with details.
I also have her describe what some specific thing looks like, if it is to be played out.
All of this allows me to discover what she likes, rather then having her explain it to me.
Further more I always ask her the things she does not like, and what her limits are.
Now as for the "I like whatever you like" mindset.
If she indentifies as a sub, I play out something that is to both our liking, but I control the action.
If she identifies as a slave I do whatever feels right to me, assuming only it does not violate her limits.
And I do like being a bit sadistical.
The question "what do you like?" puts the sub in control.
As a domme the burden of knowing is on me, not on her.
As a domme its is better fo find out what you like yourself, and then let her respond to that.
And if a sub/slave has a specific fantasy, I may play it out with her, but she should know there will be a twist somewhere.
I agree with this, that when I'm asked what I like, I feel like they are putting me in control, and it makes me uncomfortable and is rather a turn off.
I am truly one of those people for whom my interests vary person to person. When I'm with a new partner, I want to know what he is interested in doing with me. Almost certainly, I will be very interested in doing that with him, and it makes those interactions unique and meaningful. I've often struggled with this question, even when it's asked conversationally at munches and the like, because "I like to do what my Dom likes" isn't a clear-cut answer, and I think people kinda go "Well, duh" in their heads. If they start asking specifics (do you like x, y, or z) I'm okay, but there is something about that broad "what do you like?" question that makes me uncomfortably put on the spot and never engenders an illuminating response.
If I absolutely have to respond to it though, I say that my real interest, and arguably my "fetish", is the D/s relationship itself...and all the other activities are tools (albeit sometimes amazing tools) to help develop it. And the fact that each relationship is different and so the specific activities engaged in are different, is what makes it valuable to me. Therefore I do not have a blanket "this is what I like" answer.
|
|
|
|
