advice to someone new..

advice to someone new.. (Full Version)

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LadyElizabeth -> advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 9:24:34 AM)
What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 9:44:33 AM)
My advice for Novice Female Submissives Newbie! At a loss I'm a new domme seeking advice Does a slave also have to be a fool? sub: totally new concept Questions for other newbies The Journey Starting Out New to the Life, Help How to deal? Request for Advice Advice please: Relationships, bdsm, love and boundaries First time sub seeking you advice- how to find the right master? First time sub seeking advice a newbie seeking advice How can I be a great sub? Brand new life Help needed Emotional Rollercoaster Welcoming newbies New to this Just a few questions Do's and Dont's

amayos -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 9:48:06 AM)
Avoid the internet more often. LOL

truesub4u -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 10:24:50 AM)
LOL.. I knew it was only a mater of time... LINKS! Lady Elizabeth.. I really don't know. It's hard sometimes.. because sometimes you know the person you are dealing with, will still do things their own way.. no matter what you try to advise. Even when using yourself as an example. Or others you know as examples... they're only going to use that tunnel vision.. and selctive hearing. But when one does come.. and asks.. we usually are still willing to throw our 2 cents in and hopes it becomes a full $1 one day..

MistressOfGa -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 10:30:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently? I would advise that they learn as much as they can by reading, listening and seeking out others who have the same interests. I know that many times when someone wants to submit, it is very hard for them to wait for the right person, so they tend to jump at the first opportnity that comes along, I would suggest that they wait, ask questions and make sure that they are going to be safe with that first person that they are meeting. In this day of the information superhighway, there is no excuse not to educate yourself before you jump in with both feet. Anything I would have done differently? No, I am who I am and I believe what I believe because of my past experiences and mistakes. I wouldnt be who I am today without them.

Evanesce -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 12:07:59 PM)
quote: What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently? What I would have done differently is not to have wasted a year and a half of my life on "the sub who would be dom." Advice to the newbies: 1. Know who you are. 2. Know what you want and need, and the difference between the two. 3. Know your expectations and abilities and make absolutely certain they're realistic and rational. 4. Don't be in a rush to experience everything right now. Take your time and think with the brain residing above your shoulders. 5. Finally, don't waste your time on "partners" you know aren't right for you. If it doesn't FEEL right, it's not going to BE right, and you know when it's right - whether you choose to listen to yourself or not.

yourMissTress -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 3:43:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently? Read, read, read, research, read and read. Get out and meet people in the lifestyle, join a munch group, read. Find people that are like minded spend time getting to know them. Get to know yourself, read, and read some more. I think that reading is important. But also, one of the biggest things that I can suggest is to have a mentor. Find someone that you trust to help you, guide you, teach you and be a safe person that you can talk to.

IrishMist -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 3:45:49 PM)
quote: Avoid the internet more often Believe it or not, for someone new...this is what I would stress with them. AVOID online...get out there and meet people.

DragonNphoenix -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 6:49:40 PM)
Thank you LA... very good threads.. 1st Girl Phoenix

DragonNphoenix -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 6:53:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently? I would say that you should not waste your time on those that you think you might be able to change. People really dont change... I have learned this. If you click and you like the person... give it a go... if there is a 'tweak' about them that bugs you.. move on. 1st Girl Phoenix

KnightofMists -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 7:59:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship?,.. Is there anything you would have done differently? to any particular question get as many answer to that question from as many people as possible... then decide what works for you..... and then remember to question your answer from time to time.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 8:07:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists to any particular question get as many answer to that question from as many people as possible... then decide what works for you..... and then remember to question your answer from time to time. Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth, KnightOf Mists. To me that's basically a great rule to follow in all aspects of life. I can't think of anything else I would add except what's been said above...Read, and experience it in real life. Cin

ownedgirlie -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 8:14:28 PM)
Trust your instincts.

KatyLied -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 8:15:43 PM)
Listen to your gut. Allow it to rule your heart.

Petruchio -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 10:07:19 PM)
quote: What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship? Nah, don't pay any attention to the advice here. Instead, sign up for my new 6 day training course in sunny Orlando, Florida. Send $1495 to BDSM, Post Office Box … [:D]

truesub4u -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/15/2006 10:46:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Petruchio quote: What/how would you advise someone brand new to this sort of lifestyle, when they are looking for a potential D/s's relationship? Nah, don't pay any attention to the advice here. Instead, sign up for my new 6 day training course in sunny Orlando, Florida. Send $1495 to BDSM, Post Office Box … [:D] Breaks out the rubber check book... can't wait to see how far this one is going to bounce... LOL

Sirandlittle1 -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/16/2006 1:03:13 AM)
Learn to communicate Learn to listen Learn your needs Sort your shit out, put your house in order so the best of you is on offer Educate yourself, so that you can make informed choices Dont settle for less Watch carefully Learn your limits, which you believe to be hard and firm and stick to your guns Be assertive Always be risk aware, and minimise the risks Know that you will develope your own way, and sod what others think, only the opinions of the people involved count. Get physically fit, somethings require a LOT of strength Never use KYwarming lube without a enema! What i would of done different? Id not bother with online, just cut to the chase and go real life straight away. Id never of hit my dom with a whip Other than that, id do it all again, the same way. Ive had a very positive experience so far. little1

Petruchio -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/16/2006 2:36:28 AM)
quote: Breaks out the rubber check book... (naïvely) You actually write a check for rubbers?

swtnsparkling -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/16/2006 2:44:14 AM)
Read everything you can Ask questions Listen to your gut Never rush and most importantly use some Common friggin sense edited to add: Those were my own rules and No, nothing I would of done differently

truesub4u -> RE: advice to someone new.. (2/16/2006 9:08:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Petruchio quote: Breaks out the rubber check book... (naïvely) You actually write a check for rubbers? lmao... i've sat here for past 5 mins looking at this statement... laughing.. I can't even come back with a good response... Petruchio... you ass.. you win this battle again.. but the war is still not over!... lol

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