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Good scenes/play techniques for beginners? - 6/29/2009 3:24:49 PM

scribeofclio

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Hey y'all!

My gf and I have been goin' steady (as us modern kids say) for about two months now. I'm a switch (leaning heavily towards dominance) with about a year's experience under my belt. She's interested in adding some BDSM elements to sex -- but not sure what she's into. So far we've only tried light play (pinning her wrists, hair tugging, etc). I'm looking for some advice how we might find out what turns her on -- without making her uber uncomfortable or pushing her limits too far.

Obviously we're keeping communication *wide* open, and all that. She's just not sure what will squick her and what will make her moan. Any horizon-broadening ideas?

Thanks in advance for all help!

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RE: Good scenes/play techniques for beginners? - 6/29/2009 9:59:25 PM

AlexandraLynch

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I like to use sensory play as a nice easy introduction. You don't need a ton of fancy toys; your hands, let your fingernails grow out a tad bit, a silky piece of fabric, a pair of chopsticks, a cup with some ice in it, a piece of fur... and start with a light rubbing of the skin of the back, move to scratching lightly with your nails, stroke over it with the fur, drum lightly all over with the chopsticks, draw circles and loops with them, stroke the silky fabric over the skin, etc. I alternate pain and soft, and periodically ask the person if we're still green (for go), and when they reply in a really drunk voice, "Oh, yeahhh....we're gooood...." you have subspace, and can keep it going for a bit or end it and just be there while she comes down. It's very satisfying to put someone into subspace like that. If you both like that you can start adding in impact play with that sequence.

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RE: Good scenes/play techniques for beginners? - 6/29/2009 10:15:13 PM

Maxwell67

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Quick reply

I would recommend trying a light spanking session, perhaps use a paddle. Sometimes the simplest ideas will bring inspiration. Start with something that is hard to screw up. Light spanking can be very erotic, especially combined with sensual play. You might see how well she responds to bondage by tying scarves around her wrists and looping the ends around something, then having her hold onto the ends. If she does not let go, no matter what you do, then it is probably worth exploring further in that direction.

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RE: Good scenes/play techniques for beginners? - 6/30/2009 6:17:39 PM

cagliostro

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You said you'd tried pinning her wrists, go for some light bondage. Take a bedsheet and fold it up into a 2-3" wide strip. Wrap it around her forearms or calves or whatever, probably a few times, and tie a good old fashioned granny knot. Voila. You are now playing with bondage. The flat side of the sheet keeps it from biting into the skin too much. A pillowcase works well similarly as a blindfold.

I'm also a big fan of biting a clawing. No tools required :)

A towel makes a half decent whip if you hold opposite corners of it and wind it up. It's the old towel in the lockerroom trick.

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RE: Good scenes/play techniques for beginners? - 6/30/2009 6:37:52 PM

BalletBob

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Hi and Welcome to the group. Now lets see.......

Try a tying her Spread Eagle to the bed? Use silk scarfs, and make them loose, so she has some movement, and won't strain her arms and legs. The BLINDFOLD her ! I feels so neat not knowing what is coming next. The maybe lay with eher Puppies (Nipples) with your Finger Nails. I know it drives me really nuts, more than a naked female or a Ballerina in Fishnet Tights. I like to use Bobby Pins on my Puppes sometimes, but I put them on halfway, so it isn't too much pressure.

Thinking hard, sub BalletBob

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RE: Good scenes/play techniques for beginners? - 6/30/2009 7:02:02 PM

scribeofclio

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Awesome! Thanks!

I'm definitely going to spring your ideas on her. :)

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