just wondering.

just wondering. (Full Version)

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homework -> just wondering. (6/29/2009 6:57:45 PM)
Why are women more likely to take on a service pet with no sex rather than a man? i ask because i really do want to trade house services- cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, and organizing (or any combination) for pain play and some training. Now i know that w/ a relationship like this- feelings on both sides can and do develop and that the topic of sex will come up. i have to say that would be normal. i also think that a conversation later on to change the parameters of the agreement would be in order. i know that part of why i am having problems finding someone is because i live in a palce that is far away from other places and that i am with a Dom already. So i am not relocatable or single. i know that this makes it harder but i have to think there is a man some where. What do y'all think?

DavanKael -> RE: just wondering. (6/29/2009 7:52:40 PM)
Hi, homework---- I remember your posting before. I am going to guess that the lack of sex piece is an impediment as are the other factors that you noted. Just occurred to me: are there any bdsm or other alt-lifestyle clubs around you? Perhaps you could work out cleaning there and explain your needs to whomever owns the establishment and they could provide some. Best wishes, Davan

homework -> RE: just wondering. (6/29/2009 9:09:10 PM)
Davan- no there are no clubs close. i wish that there were. so you think that the sex would need to be immediate?

Danibelle -> RE: just wondering. (6/30/2009 10:22:27 AM)
I think it's entirely possible. I play with a man who I do not share a sexual relationship with. It's extremely light and is really based in sadomasochism. We were both up front about not wanting sexual relationships at the time. For me it's because I have my boyfriend to fill my sexual needs and don't feel like putting myself more at risk from sexual play or from getting too attached (which I do when I get sexually physical). For my sometimes partner, it's because he reserves sexual acts for those he is in committed relationships with. I find it easy to be physically satisfied with someone without sexual contact.

Joseff -> RE: just wondering. (6/30/2009 6:32:38 PM)
Seems to me I asked you before where you were. I see you're not so close, so there goes that idea. Often with men, we get sexually aroused from any type of play, at least that's how it is for me, and we often can dissociate sex and love. This is most likely the reason you are having the trouble you are at finding someone. However, I know there are those out there who fit your requirements, because I would gladly agree to what you're looking for. My house really needs cleaning, too. Keep looking and good luck.

justme1980 -> RE: just wondering. (6/30/2009 9:39:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: homework Why are women more likely to take on a service pet with no sex rather than a man? i ask because i really do want to trade house services- cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, and organizing (or any combination) for pain play and some training. Now i know that w/ a relationship like this- feelings on both sides can and do develop and that the topic of sex will come up. i have to say that would be normal. i also think that a conversation later on to change the parameters of the agreement would be in order. i know that part of why i am having problems finding someone is because i live in a palce that is far away from other places and that i am with a Dom already. So i am not relocatable or single. i know that this makes it harder but i have to think there is a man some where. What do y'all think? And it has to be a man?

Danibelle -> RE: just wondering. (6/30/2009 9:56:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justme1980 quote: ORIGINAL: homework Why are women more likely to take on a service pet with no sex rather than a man? i ask because i really do want to trade house services- cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, and organizing (or any combination) for pain play and some training. Now i know that w/ a relationship like this- feelings on both sides can and do develop and that the topic of sex will come up. i have to say that would be normal. i also think that a conversation later on to change the parameters of the agreement would be in order. i know that part of why i am having problems finding someone is because i live in a palce that is far away from other places and that i am with a Dom already. So i am not relocatable or single. i know that this makes it harder but i have to think there is a man some where. What do y'all think? And it has to be a man? That's also a good point. I play with women on a non-sexual level or with my boyfriend present. Without sexual contact, might you be willing to entertain a woman?

porcelaine -> RE: just wondering. (7/1/2009 10:41:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: homework i know that part of why i am having problems finding someone is because i live in a palce that is far away from other places and that i am with a Dom already. So i am not relocatable or single. i know that this makes it harder but i have to think there is a man some where. What do y'all think? i wonder why your dominant isn't feeding this need for you himself. surely it wouldn't be difficult to allow you to do so, assuming you don't live together? or would your note imply he isn't interested in your assistance in this manner? another option is volunteering your services to an organization. while it may not be bdsm oriented service as a whole encompasses far more than merely serving in a lifestyle capacity. expand your mindset and you may find your niche and other opportunities for fulfillment. porcelaine

homework -> RE: just wondering. (7/1/2009 8:15:45 PM)
@porcelaine i do all of things that i am offering to do for my own Sir. what i do not get out of it is the pain play and a more formal training. He is laid back when it comes to the training. He has his own way and i love him for it. He understands that i am curious about a more formal and structured way of doing things. He has encouraged me to look for someone else who would indulge both my love of pain and more structure.i also volunteer my time to an organization and serve the community that way. It is fulfilling. i am just craving something kinky. @Danibelle, i would have no problem offering my services to a woman. It does not have to be a man. i had had the pleasure of a man previously and when he moved on for his own reasons i went looking for a man. But a woman would be fine. i like women as well as men. As far as sex goes it isn't that i don't want it to be sexual. i am just looking to keep it non-sexual for a period of time until it becomes something we want to go forward with. If that never happens it would be fine and if it did then great. Again thanks to all who have responded. i have lots to think about and remind myself to be patient.

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