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are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 6:48:35 AM

tazzygirl

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borrowed from another thread, this had me wondering last night. the following is an article found discussing equality both in the real sense of the word, and in the sense of it being used in a D/s, BDSM way.

http://www.domsub.info/equality.shtml

to those who serve, do you feel you are equal to your owner? why or why not?

to those who control? do you feel you are equal to those who serve you? why or why not?

and to both who do not see yourselves as equal to the other person in your relationsip... do you see that inequality as inferior?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 6:53:25 AM

Aileen1968

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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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I'm equal in more of a yin yang kind of thinking. We both are equal in wanting our needs met....emotional and physical. We just go about satisfying those needs differently. For me it's like two puzzle pieces fitting together. They are different shapes, but only complete when touching.

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RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 6:56:36 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

borrowed from another thread, this had me wondering last night. the following is an article found discussing equality both in the real sense of the word, and in the sense of it being used in a D/s, BDSM way.

http://www.domsub.info/equality.shtml

to those who serve, do you feel you are equal to your owner? why or why not?

to those who control? do you feel you are equal to those who serve you? why or why not?

and to both who do not see yourselves as equal to the other person in your relationsip... do you see that inequality as inferior?

No not equal ad more so not equal than a mere discussion on semantics...

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Post #: 3

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 6:57:07 AM

Padriag

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Equality is a pretty myth perpetuated to soothe the masses. No one is absolutely equal to anyone else, we're all different. We each have our talents and ineptitudes, strengths and weaknesses, advantages and flaws... but we are not equal in any of these things. Does that make some superior than others, yes it does. Does that make some inferior to others, yes it does.

So far as my personal relationships go, I have superior authority... period.
As for who is superior at various tasks... that depends on the individuals and their particular talents.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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Post #: 4

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 6:57:28 AM

RCdc

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So we had the fat thread, the subslave debate... and now we are back to the equality thread.
Must be the circle of life.

No. I am not equal.
No. Inequality is not inferior.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 7/1/2009 6:58:11 AM >

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RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 6:59:16 AM

tolovetolaugh

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Um... can I use apples and oranges to explain?

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RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 6:59:57 AM

agirl

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No, I'm not equal to my Owner, My children are not equal to me.

We are all important.

No, I'm not inferior as a person ....but I AM inferior in certain WAYS. He's inferior to ME in certain ways, too.

I never think in terms of *equal*.......I think in terms of being important and mattering.

The question is just begging ............... Equal to WHAT and in what way? BDSM, D/s doesn't alter the question.

agirl

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Post #: 7

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 7:00:31 AM

LadyPact

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No, I don't see Myself as equal. I think it would take a greater strength than I have to give to be a submissive to someone such as Myself.

Often, I'm honestly in awe of clip. One of the running gags around here is that it takes a lot of work to be Lady Pact. Just imagine what it takes to be Lady Pact's boy. If any person out there thinks that is easy, you have too simple of a view.

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RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 7:04:08 AM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh

Um... can I use apples and oranges to explain?

sure if you think that will help... lol

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to tolovetolaugh)

Post #: 9

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 7:05:14 AM

tazzygirl

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sometimes its good to revist topics. you could always overlook them.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 10

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 7:12:56 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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Indeed, you could over look them. If you wanted to.
Or you can mention it's been mentioned before so that people can revisit the old threads by using the search function as well as adding to a new thread. If you wanted to.

Forums are cool like that for discussiing anything. If you want to.

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Post #: 11

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 7:18:59 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

grins

true dark

i like debating.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 12

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 7:21:02 AM

agirl

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The fact is .... that *equal* is a poor word to use in a *D/s way.*....or indeed ANY relationship.

Few people wonder about whether they are *equal* to their offspring ......... they KNOW they are not.

Maybe it's the fact that people easily accept all these concepts...until they apply it to D/s.

I don't need to be in a D/s relationship to know that I'm not *equal* to anyone. I wasn't before and I'm not now.

agirl

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 13

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 7:22:04 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Indeed, you could over look them. If you wanted to.
Or you can mention it's been mentioned before so that people can revisit the old threads by using the search function as well as adding to a new thread. If you wanted to.

Forums are cool like that for discussiing anything. If you want to.

the.dark.

..and we obviously do.

agirl

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 14

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 7:46:34 AM

Whenready

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Joined: 3/5/2009
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Yes...but some if us are more equal than others...

Sorry - couldn't resist.

She looks up to Me. Equal is not up. She is unique. She has her own strengths, weaknesses, abilities. We are both equally human. In that we are equal. But that's all. Some of course may see that as arrogant. I guess I'll just have to cope.

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 15

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 7:57:46 AM

Leonidas

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You are equal to me in the sense that the founding fathers of my country intended, and that has been so bastardized now that they wouldn't recognize it in the least.

You are created equal to me. Which, of course, supposes that you were created at all; something that our founding fathers took pretty much for granted as something that "everyone knows". They were talking about divine right. The fact that they rejected the notion that some men are entitled to be kings and noblemen because they are ordained by God to be. They didn't believe that.

It goes along with the next sentence in the often quoted blurb about "equality"... that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

It's talking about freedom, specifically, about freedom from the arbitrary actions of "Sovereigns" who might justify the taking of your rights as their divine (God given) right.

I believe in that kind of equality, even though I'm not all that big on bringing the "divine" into it. In other words, I don't believe in entitlement, of any kind, divine or not. Funny how equality, and freedom, and rights have, over a couple of centuries been twisted around by many to mean exactly entitlement. Which is just about the opposite of what Jefferson had in mind.

Somehow, somewhere along the way people started equating "rights" with the world owing them something. The world doesn't owe you a damn thing, least of all "equality". You're born with all the equality you're going to get. After that it's up to you, which is as it should be.

So yea! is my vote. We are indeed all equal, at least in the sense that our founding fathers intended.

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Leonidas

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Post #: 16

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 8:23:27 AM

Andalusite

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I don't submit to anyone because I am inferior, or dominate them because I am superior. We're all equally human beings, but we each bring our own strengths and weaknesses to the relationship. This is part of why I'm not drawn to Female Supremacy or the Gorean lifestyle - not *all* Gorean men feel that women are biologically inferior, but several of them are quite vociferous about it.

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Post #: 17

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 8:29:52 AM

alanswhore

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

I don't submit to anyone because I am inferior, or dominate them because I am superior. We're all equally human beings, but we each bring our own strengths and weaknesses to the relationship.

Precisely. :)

Like I said in the other thread - there's an important distinction between "equal" and "the same." My owner and I obviously have different roles, both in our relationship and in our lives in general, but one of us is not somehow better or worth more than the other.

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 18

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 8:38:17 AM

tazzygirl

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why is it believed because some chose not to see themselves as "equals" that we are referring to ourselves as "less" or "inferior"?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to alanswhore)

Post #: 19

RE: are we all "equal"? - 7/1/2009 9:09:30 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Without him, I wouldn't be submissive to anyone. Without me, he wouldn['t be dominating anyone. We are equal in value to the relationship. Our emotional investment in the relationship is equal. Our goals are highly compatible.

Is a CEO equal to his executive assistant? No, but that isn't how you express the relationship. Does he need her to be as competent as possible in his job? Absolutely, because if he had to find his own files, schedule his own appointments, he wouldn't have as much time to make the decisions he does. Does he depend on her? Definitely. Does she depend on him to keep the company in good shape so she keeps earning her high salary? Absolutely.

For us, it isn't a question of equality. It's a question of what is needed to make the relationship work well, which means both our needs must be met or it ends.

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