lovingpet
Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: maia09
quote:
ORIGINAL: vinylchick42
being fairly new to the wonderful world of BDSM i am curious as to what it means to be owned without the obvious physical collaring of someone. does it mean i have been 'owned' if my mind swarms of thoughts of the Dom literly all day long? or when i hear his ring tone on my phone and it causes an instant automatic rush of wetness in my panties? also making my heart race like a young girl on her first date. even after months of being with him, he still makes my palms sweat with giddy nervousness and excitement.
are these some feelings of being 'owned'?
Well my take on it is yes, you are owned alright, but i'm not sure if it's by your Dom or your own reactions to him. So what happens if the day comes and you don't feel giddy nervousness, excitement, sweaty palms and an automatic rush of wetness in your panties? Then what - are you then not owned? This kind of ties in a little with another thread about subs knowing or not what they're asking. Lust and excitement are oh so fun, but for me, ownership entails a great deal more. The physical collar is not the significant factor, nor do i believe the things you've mentioned. But then i have to say - being owned is probably just as much a personal perception as anything else. Too often subs and slaves rush into a "ownership" relationship because of the feelings they have and what they get - not because they have a strong desire to give to the Dominant. It's a tricky thing.
I absolutely agree! I have someone asking me constantly if I understand what I am asking and explaining to me what things like a collar mean for him. We converse very regularly on these matters. I have actually been forced to slow down when it was needed and had the heat turned up when I was I thought I was doing such a peachy job. It can be a real pain in the rear to be with someone who actually cares about you and wants you to enter into such a thing knowingly, willingly, and still want it just the same. There are parts of this that scare me, that are not going to be "the fun part", that I downright don't like, but they are not dealbreakers. To me, a collar is rather meaningless if it doesn't carry some difficult sacrifices.
I can have all the fluffy bunny feelings I want. It is when I am standing in the stark reality of what it actually means that any of it matters. Either I faulter and show that my submission runs only surface deep, or I take the plunge and put action to those words like trust, respect, obedience.
A great example of this happened about two months ago for me. I didn't want to do something. I was told plainly it WOULD happen. As much as I didn't want to talk about why I didn't want to do this thing (required reliving some horribly painful stuff from my past), I did so anyway knowing full well I would still have to go through with the act I was begging to not have to do. He understood and knew better how to support me through the whole ordeal, but, yes, the time came and I had to either do or die. It was awful. It was wonderful. I am glad I did it. I can't say every time something similar has come up, I've done so well, but I am ever trying to be able to take that next step and the next.
That's where the good emotions come from. Knowing we've both been tested and tried time and again and still our bond is true and even stronger than ever. He says it's so. I say it's so. It is so. The collar will come in time and will be a very special formal announcement of what we already know to be true. We have invested and continue to do so to see to it that this collar will be worth far more than the adornment around my neck. It will be a big and very special occassion. For now, I will just wear it in my heart.
lovingpet
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RE: feeling owned without a collar???? - 
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