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MaamJay -> RE: Question (7/6/2009 11:34:06 PM)
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I agree that it all depends upon what the people in question have agreed that it means. To Me there are several potential levels or types of "training". There's the initial exposure and grounding to bdsm - educating the sub about basics such as safe calls, safe words and other safety issues, about types of play, sub space, aftercare and sub drop - that can occur on a mental level, but also may have some physical input. There is specialised training in a particular area of expertise - massage, being a butler, shining shoes, cooking, gardening ... whatever! Both of these could be done by a Trainer(s) who is not aiming to be the Owner. The third type is the specific training in things to suit the Owner - how they like their food prepared, their drinks made, their chores done etc etc. That really should be done by the Owner to be efficient.
oceanwinds - re a velcro collar - I think of those as the sort that goes on and comes off again in a matter of days or weeks! Particularly found in chatrooms where a sub will be collared to MsD one week and MsQ the next! Shouldn't be the same as a training collar if there has been appropriate communication as to what the training will be.
And while I know some have issues with "consideration" and I also know some use it inappropriately to tie someone to them without mutual obligation, I do believe it has a place. I might play with subs, but I ultimately want one to join My household 24/7. I wouldn't leap straight from "play partner" to "collared 24/7 sub for life" ... I don't think that would be fair to either them, Myself or Master. There would be a period of consideration during which we would all gradually spend more and more time together, seeing how good a "fit" we all are. Just as much as we are considering them, they would be considering us! And the terms of that consideration period (eg whether any of us has the right to continue chatting with others) would be clearly negotiated and agreed to by all parties. Master and i consider a permanent collar to be a very serious level of committment. He and i lived together 24/7 for 2 years ... mutually committed consideration ... before He collared me permanently. As a Domme, I would ask for at least a year's consideration period from a sub.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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