RE: Addressing Me As Sir

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thishereboi -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/9/2009 6:54:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Esinn quote: ORIGINAL: seekerof I teach my children to say "Sir" or Ma'am" to all unfamiliar adults. I am thrilled if you do not. Some day your child and mine might be up for the same job...... Hey! Thanks everyone! There were a lot of intelligent replies here. It surly gives me something to think about. Well, some were lacking in intelligence a little. Seeker, I too will be thrilled when my daughter and your child apply for the same job. I taught my daughter how to wield a bat and I assure your child will not make it to the front door. Come on? You trying to cut my throat here because I am seeking opinions of others? This was an honest question. I have all sides of my neck tattooed and might get my throat done soon. I never wear a suit to interviews. The fact I address my boss as a friend/equal(not calling them sir) or do not cover my tattoos has no impact on my ability to do the job much better than you can. I am and always have been a top performer. Any fool in management who does not hire me because they were not addressed as sir does not deserve me. I can understand my tattoos in some cases. . . . Piss off --Esinn Wow, all that anger over a little post. Good thing you taught that kid to carry a bat, because I am guessing you haven't taught her any manners. Have a great day.

oceanwinds -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/9/2009 9:32:05 AM)
Hello OP It would not occur to me to call you or anyone on the boards Sir or Ma'am. Being born and raised in Ohio, it was not customary to address people as Sir or Ma'am. Moving to Florida and meeting my friend, Sir, who is from the south, it is customary for him as well as a lot of people in south Florida to address strangers by saying Sir or Ma'am. Upon viewing this, I decided to try a little testing on people, especially younger ones, okay almost everyone is younger then me. When a young man opens a door for me, I look them right in the eyes and say, "Thank you Sir". I observe what happens afterwards, first they are a little shock I would do that, then they say thank you and walk away with head up and shoulders back. They have a sense of pride. I liked the results of my test, and have continued to do this, when I am outside of my home. In regards to BDSM, I do not automatically use the titles. I have many reasons to not, but basically because I do not serve them, nor are they 'in' my life. If I do find a Dominant, (male or female) posting here who impresses me with their manner of answering a post(s), I will email them and tell them that I appreciate their posts. I do not assume nor mind one way or another if they will reply. It is just something I do, though seldom. I do that as well with submissives as well. I have had people do this to me occassionally, and it pleases me that my words have touched someone. Blessings, oceanwinds

Ryana -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/10/2009 8:16:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Esinn I am new(er) here. I have strong personal opinions about things that I will share. On occasion I am open to being wrong. Respect is something which I demonstrate through actions I am worthy to have. Knowing things are done just for me or the select group the she feels are worthy is one of the things I 'get off on.' Call it an ego trip knowing I am that good. More so it is knowing she let me in. I am called sir or kneeled before on request because I deserve it. When a sub addresses me as sir off the bat I view it as a 'weakness'. I see it as a red-flag or 'con-artist'(sometimes). Reminds me of a child who calls everyone sir/ma'am because it is socially acceptable. They might not understand why they do it. In the office co-workers who call managers "MR/MRS" shocks me. Regardless of my title at work I have a name. If I have not yet requested it yet or this is how I am initially addressed it seems fake. If this is how she addresses everyone when used appropriately it looses power - no? Do I need to change this way of thinking? *No disrespect implied and I do not have in mind play parties, play partners or situations where roles might be 'predetermined' For me, i normally reserve Sir or Ma'am/Miss For a Dominate I've known for awhile and respect, but i know a few do it to show that they respect the title of Dom/me.

wildchild62 -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/12/2009 10:22:50 PM)
that is just the way i was trained as a sub/slave. i address all Dominants Male as Sir and Female as Ma'am unless They have specifically told me otherwise. it is second nature to me in this lifestyle. i also believe it shows respect this was in response to the original statement, not directed at IrishMist

Esinn -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/15/2009 9:57:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi quote: ORIGINAL: Esinn quote: ORIGINAL: seekerof I teach my children to say "Sir" or Ma'am" to all unfamiliar adults. I am thrilled if you do not. Some day your child and mine might be up for the same job...... Hey! Thanks everyone! There were a lot of intelligent replies here. It surly gives me something to think about. Well, some were lacking in intelligence a little. Seeker, I too will be thrilled when my daughter and your child apply for the same job. I taught my daughter how to wield a bat and I assure your child will not make it to the front door. Come on? You trying to cut my throat here because I am seeking opinions of others? This was an honest question. I have all sides of my neck tattooed and might get my throat done soon. I never wear a suit to interviews. The fact I address my boss as a friend/equal(not calling them sir) or do not cover my tattoos has no impact on my ability to do the job much better than you can. I am and always have been a top performer. Any fool in management who does not hire me because they were not addressed as sir does not deserve me. I can understand my tattoos in some cases. . . . Piss off --Esinn Wow, all that anger over a little post. Good thing you taught that kid to carry a bat, because I am guessing you haven't taught her any manners. Have a great day. Give me a break, son. It was not anger - read some of my posts get to know me. Any way it was humor to your asinine reply. Read the thread learn how to communicate intelligently. If you have a different view express it and do your best to share why. I do not care about your children. If we are to press forward lets do so like adults :)

JadeAngelslave -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/16/2009 1:03:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rainfire Again, it's all a matter of perspective. I don't call anyone Sir, Ma'am, Lord, Master, Lady or the Great High and Mighty Poobah except my Daddy and Master. I'm His submissive, not the world's. If it's someone here I don't know all that well, I'll simply address them by their screen nick. In personal correspondence on the other side, some people know me by my given name and I know their given name. Lumus has set it out perfectly clear that I am not to address another dominant in such a manner, not out of disrespect for the other dominant but because I am HIS, not theirs. It doesn't mean I'm rude or disrespectful but honouring my Master's wishes. Now, out in the world, for work and what have you, I do tend to still call some people sir and ma'am. I was raised in an old-fashioned country home where anyone older than you or your parents was Mr. Smith, Mrs. Jones, yes sir, no ma'am, or quite frankly, you got smacked upside the head for being rude. And we ain't talking love-taps here. I also worked in customer service for many years so politeness is doubly-ingrained in me. In some jobs, it's a requirement to call the customer "Mr. Jones" or "Miss Smith". I think I'd have to agree here totally. I also tell you something if someone demands that I cann them "Sir" or "Master" etc. instantly, it is a sign of weakness and insecurity in my eyes any respect for them that I would have had is gone. WARNING BELLS go off in my head and I tend to run the other way as fast as I can, because I could never be safe with them. Jade

petmonkey -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/16/2009 2:30:00 AM)
quote: Reminds me of a child who calls everyone sir/ma'am because it is socially acceptable. They might not understand why they do it. monkey nods It might be an attempt at socially acceptable courteous behavior within this particular context. No harm in insisting it be earned, as tiresome as that might become. subs can be as predatory as Doms, no reason to avoid telling them to get their grubby little proclivity-fingers off your self-definition until the time is right for you. [A thought: putting that in your profile notes is a good way to see if they can read directions.] i didn't fully understand why i acted like a doormat until i became someone in particular's "Special Doormat", so to speak. i had to work on not automatically reacting in a submissive manner to people besides my "Special friends" over the years. Life is much nicer now that there's a reason and a place for it. Is interaction on this website an automatic reason and place for it? For some maybe, just not for you. added: i do worry about telling a potential sub that it is seen as a weakness without careful wording, it could be misinterpreted as showing any kind of weakness, ever, is a bad thing. Possibly dangerous during an endurance test with a neophyte eager to please.

thishereboi -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/16/2009 3:43:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Esinn Give me a break, son. It was not anger - read some of my posts get to know me. Why would I bother, You obviously haven't made any attempt to get to know me or you would realize I am not a 'son' Any way it was humor to your asinine reply If you are refering to the reply "Some day your child and mine might be up for the same job...... " I did not write that post. And it was your reply to that post that I replied to. Nice try though.. . Read the thread learn how to communicate intelligently. You mean using phrases like "piss off" is that how you communicate intelligently? If you have a different view express it and do your best to share why. I do not care about your children. If we are to press forward lets do so like adults :) Again, suggesting you have taught your child to carry a bat is acting like an adult? Telling someone to piss off is acting like an adult? Maybe you should practice what you preach first.

AngelicaGoddess -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/16/2009 4:39:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Esinn I am new(er) here. I have strong personal opinions about things that I will share. On occasion I am open to being wrong. Respect is something which I demonstrate through actions I am worthy to have. Knowing things are done just for me or the select group the she feels are worthy is one of the things I 'get off on.' Call it an ego trip knowing I am that good. More so it is knowing she let me in. I am called sir or kneeled before on request because I deserve it. When a sub addresses me as sir off the bat I view it as a 'weakness'. I see it as a red-flag or 'con-artist'(sometimes). Reminds me of a child who calls everyone sir/ma'am because it is socially acceptable. They might not understand why they do it. In the office co-workers who call managers "MR/MRS" shocks me. Regardless of my title at work I have a name. If I have not yet requested it yet or this is how I am initially addressed it seems fake. If this is how she addresses everyone when used appropriately it looses power - no? Do I need to change this way of thinking? *No disrespect implied and I do not have in mind play parties, play partners or situations where roles might be 'predetermined' Judging from your replies, your question if you need to change this way of thinking was a purely rhetoric question. Strangely enough the best dominants always tend to have manners, being rude and impolite is not a sign of dominance and generally viewed as a sign of weakness, insecurity, that they try to hide by being rude.

nephandi -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/16/2009 6:52:35 AM)
Greetings Sometimes a sub is instructed by her owner to call all Dominants Sir. Other times it is that Sir means no more than it do when you say thank you Sir to a customer in the shop you are working in. In some parts of the world. Sir and Madam do not mean I am yours or you are the boss of me. It is a standard way to speak to someone politely. Now I understand a Dom not wanting to be called Master by everyone, that is a rather personal title. But I do not see how anyone can object to Sir. I mean in USA and England everyone say it. When I was in England not long ago. If I asked for directions pepole would answer. Just to the left and two blocks down Madam. That do not mean they where my subs. If I say to you I do not really see what you are getting at with your post Sir, that do not mean I am saying I am your sub, or that I am saying anything other than offering common cutesy. I do not use Sir on this forum or address anyone in the BDSM community as Sir or Ma'am without indication that that is what they want. And I am baffled about it, that common cutesy can be seen as rude or even seen as me coming on to someone. I can say thank you and have a nice day Ma'am to the lady in the store that help me find peeled tomatoes, I can say good afternoon Sir, I seam to have a problem with my computer, my screen is black, to the guy at customer service. I can even say you Sir are a fucking idiot and your opinions are akin to camel shit if I am angry at somone on a forum. But I can not use common curtesy among BDSM folks as they might get it the wrong way. Good for me that Sir and Ma'am is not used in Norway as away to show respect or I would have insulted scores of Dom's and subs to for that matter in my attemnt to be polite. I wish you well

Esinn -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/21/2009 12:12:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AngelicaGoddess quote: ORIGINAL: Esinn I am new(er) here. I have strong personal opinions about things that I will share. On occasion I am open to being wrong. Respect is something which I demonstrate through actions I am worthy to have. Knowing things are done just for me or the select group the she feels are worthy is one of the things I 'get off on.' Call it an ego trip knowing I am that good. More so it is knowing she let me in. I am called sir or kneeled before on request because I deserve it. When a sub addresses me as sir off the bat I view it as a 'weakness'. I see it as a red-flag or 'con-artist'(sometimes). Reminds me of a child who calls everyone sir/ma'am because it is socially acceptable. They might not understand why they do it. In the office co-workers who call managers "MR/MRS" shocks me. Regardless of my title at work I have a name. If I have not yet requested it yet or this is how I am initially addressed it seems fake. If this is how she addresses everyone when used appropriately it looses power - no? Do I need to change this way of thinking? *No disrespect implied and I do not have in mind play parties, play partners or situations where roles might be 'predetermined' Judging from your replies, your question if you need to change this way of thinking was a purely rhetoric question. Strangely enough the best dominants always tend to have manners, being rude and impolite is not a sign of dominance and generally viewed as a sign of weakness, insecurity, that they try to hide by being rude. Well, it is a good thing I am insightful, intelligent and often well received.

Esinn -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/21/2009 12:16:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds quote: ORIGINAL: Esinn ...<snip>Do I need to change this way of thinking? yes. Thanks for the articulate reply.

sirsholly -> RE: Addressing Me As Sir (7/21/2009 2:06:08 AM)
quote: When a sub addresses me as sir off the bat I view it as a 'weakness'. I see it as a red-flag or 'con-artist'(sometimes). so take the burden off of the sub and put it out there immediately by introducing yourself with a "please call me Bob"

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