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rouletteslave -> RE: what is wrong with my method to meet a Domme? (7/7/2009 1:51:27 PM)
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I don't often quote Mistress Akasha, but she actually said this one best.
"People often contact me saying, I'm a submissive, you're a dominant. Let's get together. That's like writing to a woman saying, I'm a man, you're a woman. Our parts are compatible. Let's fuck."
I feel a lot of BDSM practitioners get lost in thinking that a BDSM relationship is radically different than a vanilla one. I believe that the best way to approach this is that BDSM is merely an aspect of the sexual activity that you engage in, and little more. Sure, some of the dominance can give overtones to other parts of the relationship, but the things that make a BDSM relationship work are the same as what makes a vanilla relationship work: common interests, chemistry, communication style, maturity, shared goals, etc.
Also, I've dated a few female dominants over the years and only one of them was through a BDSM site. Instead I found them in either goth/industrial clubs, or in vanilla life. Instead of focusing your attention on BDSM, I'd look for other things dommes like to do. I've noticed a large overlap in the goth industrial scene, Ren Faires, roleplaying games, and BDSM. You might focus your search in those areas.
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