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Alphascendant -> Perez Hilton jokes (7/4/2009 7:45:41 AM)
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Pardon if these have already been posted here. Not having any luck with consistently posting anything with positive success, I believe there is one frequenter of collarme that will appreciate these:
Perez Hilton's ass hole was so worn out, from multiple male partners, to the point that he was unable to hold a turd in, that doctors took drastic measures today. The chief of surgery said that the only option they had left was to insert a Thanksgiving ham into his worn out ass and then to pull the ham bone out , creating a fake rectum. This is a one time only procedure, and can not be done again if he still engages in butt sex. The chief of surgery said all this could have been avoided if Mr. Hilton had only tried pussy just once, but from his physical apperance gay, sex was the only chance he would have of getting laid. In a related story Miss California said of Perez "Eat shit and die you limp wristed, cock sucking, fucked up looking bastard covered bastard with a solid bastard center."
A young lady visited her doctor, before her rapidly approaching wedding, for a physical exam. After the exam, her doctor told her she was extremely healthy and with her pelvic structure that she would not have any problem bearing children if and when her and her future husband decides to have any. The doctor then asked if she had any questions. The young lady then said "My fiance likes to have anal sex with me and I was wondering if I could become pregnant by having anal sex?" The doctor looked her in the eye and said, "Of course you can. Where the hell do you think douche bags like Perez Hilton come from?"
Perez Hilton was laying in bed with his new lover he had picked up at the gay bar. Perez reached over and gripped ahold of his new lover by his hand and guided his hand down to Perez's ass. Perez then said "Stick your finger in there", and his gay new lover did. Perez then said "Stick your whole hand in there", And his new gay lover did. Perez then said "Stick your other hand in there also", and his new gay lover did. Perez then said "Clap your hands together", And his new gay lover said "I can't." Perez then said, "You see, I told you I had a tight asshole."
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