RE: "what's love got to do with it?"

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RE: "what's love got to do with it?" - 7/5/2009 2:02:52 PM

Prinsexx

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i think the question is a leading question.
It has more to do with the concept of love and the logic of how we do the future than anything else.
Most of us here I would suggest are culturally determined to think of love in a certain way: as a freedom, as an expectation, as natural. Whereas it can be seen as an emotionl luxury. It can be seen as something that grows rather than a pre-requisite.
And as for the future: most of us, myself included do the future as a corollary of the past. x + y occurred in this situation. This is similar to x therefore I can expect y. With a logic governing the future like this everything from conversation, decision making and relationship simply gets stuck in patterns of what has been done before.
One of the best trainings i ever did was based on Robert Fritz's The Path of Least Resistance
http://www.robertfritz.com/index.php?content=about

Trying to break out of this and basing my response to situations on the least resistance rather than the most often gets me accused of moving too fast, way too fast. But life is too short to sit in constant self-debate and social conformity.. (IMO)

Love will continue to be a fuck-up of a concept but as it fills most Hollywood movies, novels and magazines, it's a sure fire conversation starter, and something to talk about. And my goodness.. it goes on and on and on and on............

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RE: "what's love got to do with it?" - 7/5/2009 2:08:04 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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I'm not really big on the "L" word. To me, it's one of those 'rare-to-use' words like "promise". I think people get caught up in the attraction/lust, and when the intensity fades and they start seeing all the -other- aspects of the person they're with (and they start getting annoyed by those little cute habits that aren't so cute anymore), the lust isn't enough to hold things together, and the resentment sets in.

It seems to me that, over the years, one thing I've noticed is that people, in general, tend to have difficulty with getting rid of their 'clutter', whether it's physical clutter or emotional clutter. They hang on to things and people -long- after there is any healthy benefit in having them around. I think the reason people end up feeling so 'beaten up' at the end of a relationship is because they -cling-... they cling to all the little hurts, all the missed opportunities, all the mistakes, traumas, bitterness, and anger that, frankly, are a normal part of a healthy relationship, and go right along with all the fun, closeness, affection, and intimacy.

Crappy prognoses from insensitive doctors really have a way of kicking a person into gear, and cleaning out those overstuffed 'crises closets' if they tend to be motivated that way. I was. So along with the screwed up diagnosis, I made some decisions about how I was going to live my life, and what kind of intensity really moved me forward instead of dragging my life down into the cellar. So now, my general rule of thumb is to treat every single day as if it's the last day I'll ever have. I make sure the people whom I cherish know that they're cherished, I don't hold on to old anger and useless baggage, and I don't hold on to people that don't want to be part of my life. For me, that helps me to deal with the endings of things without having to blame or hurt forever just so I have something to feed my intensity addiction.

Dame Calla

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RE: "what's love got to do with it?" - 7/5/2009 3:02:07 PM

subtee

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I believe it's not for everyone. It's certainly not necessary.

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RE: "what's love got to do with it?" - 7/5/2009 6:22:28 PM

littlewonder

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For me it was trust. I simply did not have the energy to do it again. I was worn out and tired and needed time to get myself together again.

You see, when I'm in a relationship I give all of myself. I give everything I possibly can and really..that's a lot and a lot of energy and time. I give my entire life to that person so when the relationship ends I'm zapped of my lifeforce.

I'm like a battery that needs to recharge.

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