New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for something specific

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for something specific

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for something specific

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for something ... - 7/5/2009 1:52:33 PM

STLWalt

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline

My girlfriend of 7 years has expresed to me her desire to get involved in the lifestyle - I have a lot of questions that I would like answered and I would be much more comfortable speaking to a Domme rather than a Dom. Is there a Domme in the St Louis area that would like to go dinner with my gf and I?

I have never been a dominate person but for my gf I would like to explore the possiblities. It would be much easier to speak in person that it would be to continually type messages. I hope that I am not crossing some type of line by making this request.

Thanks in advance -

Walt

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for someth... - 7/5/2009 2:10:57 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

!. Just set up search criteria to identify Domme women in the STL area, and search.

2. It sounds like she may be sub-curious. There's a possibility that you'll think this is the greatest thing since cotton candy, and she decides it's not for her. Among other possible outcomes.

3. Talk with her and find out exactly what she wants. Does she want someone who'll set down rules and spank her for not following them? Does she want to have no will, no say, and whatever you say goes? Does she just want to be tied up in bed?

For that matter, what do YOU want?

4.Here's your first lesson in Domthink: You say that for her sake you'll try to be a Dom. Let's try this another way... you've just been given a free ticket to address all your sexual fantasies. Tell her about each one of them. As a Dom, you need to see if your own needs are being met.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to STLWalt)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for someth... - 7/5/2009 2:12:53 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

...dominate--to do
...dominant--to be

I highly doubt you will get what you need from a Domina as the dynamics are vastly different--I could be wrong--but you are looking for Male Dominant to female submissive--way dfferent. IMHO

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to STLWalt)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for someth... - 7/5/2009 2:25:31 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

...dominate--to do
...dominant--to be

(Thank you).

What she said.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for someth... - 7/5/2009 3:25:26 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

I would suggest you go to local munches and events and meet people there.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to STLWalt)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for someth... - 7/5/2009 5:26:56 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Read books, such as The Loving Dominant, Erotic Bondage, Screw the Roses. I know there's a list floating somewhere about here of good beginner books. When Someone you Love is Kinky might be helpful too.

Don't talk to others, talk to her. Does she want to start with bondage and light pain in the bedroom? What appeals to you? Want her to dress up in a school girl outfit while you spank her for not doing her homework? Go for it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to thishereboi)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for someth... - 7/5/2009 6:57:51 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

St Louis hosts an annual BDSM event that has one of the most amusing names around: Beat Me in St Louis. The name is more meaningful to those who are aware that there is an old musical film called Meet Me in St Louis.

There is a sizeable and active BDSM community in St Louis. I agree with those who recommend reaching out to this community.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to STLWalt)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: New to Collar Me and BDSM - I am looking for someth... - 7/5/2009 7:39:18 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Agreed. I know some folks from St Louis, but have never attended that particular event Myself.

I'm too far off for your needs, but I'm sure you'll find someone who fits the bill. Also, don't limit yourself to learning from Dominant roles alone. Education is everywhere, regardless of the label of the person who's willing to teach.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Profile

Post #: 8