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yourMissTress -> RE: mystery required - yes or no or... (2/17/2006 8:30:47 AM)
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quote:
What do you think about the idea of keeping mystery in a relationship? Do you think one of the perks of a long-term/committed relationship - or any relationship at all - is being available, having your SO available in times good, bad, and in between? What about the idea of absence making the heart grow fonder and familiarity breeding contempt or out of sight out of mind? Do you think being purposely mysterious and unavailable a superfluous dating game?
I love mind games, I detest dating games. I am open, honest and forthcoming and whoever I am dating, courting, seeing, or fucking had better be as well. As soon as I think someone is trying to play that "hard to get" game, it's over. I also can't stand the "needy whiney desperate" game either. And they usually get played together.
Don't expect me to answer the phone or have the time to chit chat just because you had some free time, and I won't expect every phone call to be answered, unless it was scheduled. Then you better damn well have a good reason not to have answered, and you are still going to be punished. Do call me when you are thinking of me and if I don't answer leave me a sweet message to let me know I was in your thoughts. I like that.
Don't hint that there may be someone else that's interested in you, I don't care. If there's someone else you would rather be with by all means, there's the door. Maybe that's a benefit of being poly, but I don't get jealous, and you can't elicit those emotions in me. When I don't get jealous, don't start crying that I don't care enough about you to get jealous. Jealous just isn't in my nature when it comes to dating, sex or love. Do be honest with me about your feelings for other people, I want and need to know where your head and heart are at all times.
Don't start a discussion and then suddenly clam up with a "nevermind" and an attitude. I won't get drawn into this and you will have effectively put yourself in a no talking time out. I won't beg you to talk to me. I like to let things come at their own pace, if you aren't willing to talk, I'm not going to make you. At least not in this type of instance. Do tell me when something is important to you or has hurt you or you perceive the possibility of being hurt. Be open and honest with me and I will do the same with you.
I will create mystery and wonder in the relationship. I will tell you that 4 days from now I have a little surprise. Or I will tell you that we are going down a new road and name a road that scares you just a little but not say when we will be departing. I will bring you to a realization about yourself and your abilities. I will show you places in your heart and mind that you didn't know existed. But you will always know where I stand with regards to my feelings for you and your place in my life. That will never be doubted.
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