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RE: mystery required - yes or no or... - 2/17/2006 7:50:47 AM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
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He enters, dips His Lid,

Sorry ownedgirlie but I consider I may not have explained myself or you misunderstand. The passage you take exception to is with regard to what I have termed mystery romance. I am a romantic at heart and as such my Precious Ones are also. I believe that for this surprise romance mystery to consistantly occur, that I should take this view- otherwise I constrict, reduce or remove this element from O/our relationship unless it is purely initiated by me as Dom.

My Precious Ones would agree with your comments otherwise, just as I do, for they believe I 'manage them best' (better than they may manage themselves). These elements are essentially within O/our relationship alos, and so in no way was I attempting to cast a shadow on this beautiful dynamic of 'connection'.

I trust this clears the issue?

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Dance as though nobody is watching!

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RE: mystery required - yes or no or... - 2/17/2006 8:30:47 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

What do you think about the idea of keeping mystery in a relationship? Do you think one of the perks of a long-term/committed relationship - or any relationship at all - is being available, having your SO available in times good, bad, and in between? What about the idea of absence making the heart grow fonder and familiarity breeding contempt or out of sight out of mind? Do you think being purposely mysterious and unavailable a superfluous dating game?

I love mind games, I detest dating games. I am open, honest and forthcoming and whoever I am dating, courting, seeing, or fucking had better be as well. As soon as I think someone is trying to play that "hard to get" game, it's over. I also can't stand the "needy whiney desperate" game either. And they usually get played together.

Don't expect me to answer the phone or have the time to chit chat just because you had some free time, and I won't expect every phone call to be answered, unless it was scheduled. Then you better damn well have a good reason not to have answered, and you are still going to be punished. Do call me when you are thinking of me and if I don't answer leave me a sweet message to let me know I was in your thoughts. I like that.

Don't hint that there may be someone else that's interested in you, I don't care. If there's someone else you would rather be with by all means, there's the door. Maybe that's a benefit of being poly, but I don't get jealous, and you can't elicit those emotions in me. When I don't get jealous, don't start crying that I don't care enough about you to get jealous. Jealous just isn't in my nature when it comes to dating, sex or love. Do be honest with me about your feelings for other people, I want and need to know where your head and heart are at all times.

Don't start a discussion and then suddenly clam up with a "nevermind" and an attitude. I won't get drawn into this and you will have effectively put yourself in a no talking time out. I won't beg you to talk to me. I like to let things come at their own pace, if you aren't willing to talk, I'm not going to make you. At least not in this type of instance. Do tell me when something is important to you or has hurt you or you perceive the possibility of being hurt. Be open and honest with me and I will do the same with you.

I will create mystery and wonder in the relationship. I will tell you that 4 days from now I have a little surprise. Or I will tell you that we are going down a new road and name a road that scares you just a little but not say when we will be departing. I will bring you to a realization about yourself and your abilities. I will show you places in your heart and mind that you didn't know existed. But you will always know where I stand with regards to my feelings for you and your place in my life. That will never be doubted.

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"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

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Post #: 22

RE: mystery required - yes or no or... - 2/17/2006 8:47:02 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Driver1961

Yes I know men do it too, so don't go burning any bra's!

BURN THEM!!!!

BURN THEM!!

BURN THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. . .

okay, I got carried away on the thought of burning things.

I am really much better now.

Best,

LaMalinche

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Post #: 23

RE: mystery required - yes or no or... - 2/17/2006 8:53:58 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

quote:

ORIGINAL: Driver1961

Yes I know men do it too, so don't go burning any bra's!

BURN THEM!!!!

BURN THEM!!

BURN THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. . .

okay, I got carried away on the thought of burning things.

I am really much better now.

Best,

LaMalinche

LOL funny!

i have to admit, i finally begged Master if i might please wear mine when home and not in his presence, as i am concerned that in 10 years time i will be tripping over my girls with my feet! (i'm a bit endowed to begin with in that particular zone). i would burn panties any day over my bra - i NEED my bra!!

Fortunately he agree, when i am not in his line of vision i can keep my girls cooped up.

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Post #: 24

RE: mystery required - yes or no or... - 2/17/2006 9:01:28 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

quote:

ORIGINAL: Driver1961

Yes I know men do it too, so don't go burning any bra's!

BURN THEM!!!!

BURN THEM!!

BURN THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. . .

okay, I got carried away on the thought of burning things.

I am really much better now.

Best,

LaMalinche

LOL funny!

i have to admit, i finally begged Master if i might please wear mine when home and not in his presence, as i am concerned that in 10 years time i will be tripping over my girls with my feet! (i'm a bit endowed to begin with in that particular zone). i would burn panties any day over my bra - i NEED my bra!!

Fortunately he agree, when i am not in his line of vision i can keep my girls cooped up.

WHAT!!!!! And not let the plastic surgeons get their cut? (Pun intended)

Okay, when is the Miss America Pagent (and where) and we will get togeather and burn our panties. Wanna do this corectly.

Best,

LaMalinche

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Post #: 25

RE: mystery required - yes or no or... - 2/17/2006 2:12:08 PM

newflowers

Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
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Very interesting responses - thanks everyone.

I think the original newletter I read was more about mind and dating games - things I have always hated. I do thik that within a D/s or M/s content, the need for honesty and more transparency is essential. Maybe that's not the case for everyone - it is for my relationship.

I do think that it is possible for K to know me extremely well, cetainly better than anyone else ever has, to know and see into al the dark corners I have kept hidden - that is a different circumstance than lack of mystery. Every now and then, there are areas he finds that reveal I have something else stuck in there - debris from the past, thoughts/emotions I had not realized. There is also the fact that we are living, breathing, learning, growing humans - change comes with that - with that change comes newness.

And of course, planning surprises is always a good thing.

newflowers

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Post #: 26

RE: mystery required - yes or no or... - 2/17/2006 2:22:25 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
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In a committed long term relationship it would be pretty hard if not impossible to keep the *mystery*.

Mystery could be substituted for suprises though! Keeping things fresh and alive.

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Post #: 27

RE: mystery required - yes or no or... - 2/17/2006 2:27:28 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: newflowers

Very interesting responses - thanks everyone.

I think the original newletter I read was more about mind and dating games - things I have always hated. I do thik that within a D/s or M/s content, the need for honesty and more transparency is essential. Maybe that's not the case for everyone - it is for my relationship.

I do think that it is possible for K to know me extremely well, cetainly better than anyone else ever has, to know and see into al the dark corners I have kept hidden - that is a different circumstance than lack of mystery. Every now and then, there are areas he finds that reveal I have something else stuck in there - debris from the past, thoughts/emotions I had not realized. There is also the fact that we are living, breathing, learning, growing humans - change comes with that - with that change comes newness.

newflowers

i can relate to this. There are corners of my mind yet to be explored, so i can see where that would be construed as mystery. And yes as we live day to day lives and continue to grow and evolve, we create new areas of our mind to explore.

Driver: Yes You have cleared things up, thank you. i don't have that element of romance that you speak of from my Master, however i feel hopelessly romantic toward him!! i will always try to surprise him with unique and special gifts. The mystery i receive from him is more along the lines of what Amayos was referring to earlier.

LaMalinche: Ha! when i was a teen the Miss America theme song was MY theme song so i'm there, baby!! LOL! As for the plastic surgeons, well i'd rather hold off as long as i can. Let's not induce the process, shall we?