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After the zombies - 7/8/2009 10:43:12 AM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
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There were three ZSers at InConJunction, and with some friends, I moderated a panel on how to kill the undead, including zombies, vampires, ghouls, etc.

One of our engineers (SF writer Darwin Garrison worked for Caterpillar) described the process for mounting a logchipper to the front of a large truck chassis. The method is to use it akin to a snow blower, set to "Superchunk" simply to chop zeds into large pieces. This allows maximum speed without choking the gears. The chunks are thrown into a second shredder set to either "Gooify" or "Slush." Resultant puree can be either used as fertilizer (After irradiating with UV), or fed to ghouls in order to develop a taste for zombie.

For mummies, flame weapons are ideal, assuming a safe burn area.

Vampires, of course depend on which culture's vampires, but garlic-laced holy water with silver nitrate, rowan wood ash, poppy seed and blessed by a priest, a rabbi, a mullah, a Wiccan priest and a lama, then fed through a supersoaker to add the "running water" effect, is a fantastic point defense and stun weapon. Recall that a wooden stake ONLY immobilizes. You have to decapitate after the fact. Also remember to have these materials on hand and ready. After you sight a vampire it's usually too late to start mixing.

For airborne, vapor and misty undeads, high speed ducted fans with flame or bleach or silver nitrate again, as a mist, provide a permanent and reliable kill.

We discussed ringed perimeter defenses with long range weapons, area effect weapons, kill zones and channeling/obstructing, and the need for fireproofing.

On the whole, an excellent discussion, though I did have to twice remind attendees that we were discussing real undead, not TV vampires from Buffy. [source = Michael Z Williamson]

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.