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Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel it's... - 7/8/2009 5:44:23 PM   
Shylahgirl


Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		This is a question more coming from my curiosity then anything else... (I'm not really needing advice, just want to know your experiences)

First a little background on why I am asking (this is the most recent example I have)...

Daddy's method of punishment and discipline is strictly the absents of reward for misbehavior. He doesn't lecture or use corporal punishment, at all.

Recently I have requested Daddy to help me with my weight and to get me exercising for personal reasons. I feel that if it's an order I'm more likely to follow through to please him.

Because I am a very hands on and physical person I actually requested that if I don't follow the rules that Daddy has set for my diet and activity, I be physically punished with whatever he feels appropriate. Meaning I requested that I receive some kind of corporal punishment. Daddy said no, the only punishment would be the absents of reward.

If I follow the rules for 2 weeks for the diet and exorcise, Daddy who is a licensed massage therapist, will give me a 1 hour massage. If I fuck up, no massage. Now that is really good intensive, I even have the option to change the reward, if I want... But I still worry that it's not enough to really get me there.

Now for the question...

Have any of you had a situation like this where you know one form of punishment would work, and you requested for your Master to implement it, after which they refused to? What was the end result of you're experince?

Shylah

< Message edited by Shylahgirl -- 7/8/2009 5:45:33 PM >
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/8/2009 5:48:59 PM   
mixedemotions


Posts: 123
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		No, but I wish you good luck with your weight loss.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/8/2009 5:57:44 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		one punishment works best for me. that doesnt mean others wont work. Its just trial and error. men that i have been with have used different methods. each had their preference.

good luck to you

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/8/2009 6:10:40 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Is it possible that this request is coming from a completely different need altogether? Sometimes, part of being able to take good care of yourself is having a mechanism to release the bad, pain, stress, etc. I find that slip ups usually have a source more to do with almost a self destructive means of dealing with such things. Undergoing a physical punishment resets the balances so to speak. I find I am better able and desiring to take care again because I don't have so many things grasping at me and dragging me down. The problem is that once it has come to the point that I needed, felt I had to, or just plain wanted to not take care of myself, the damage was already done. Is it possible you could request that when you are feeling negative things pulling at you and sapping your self nurturing energy, that you can come to him and release through a session involving pain play?

Just a thought. I wish you all the best both in your relationship and with your new goal!

lovingpet

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/8/2009 6:42:23 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm a little bit confused.....who's the dom in this relationship???

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to lovingpet)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/8/2009 6:56:27 PM   
dove967


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline 		Oh , wyndchymes, ouch!  That one always puts me in my place.....LOL.

dove

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/8/2009 7:20:42 PM   
rayne221


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/27/2005
Status: offline 		Yes...i have been in exactly the same position you are in, several years ago.
The answer to me was two-fold; Do not ever try to top me from the bottom. Do as you are told.
I guess um..when i suggested a punishment that  i felt would be more effective, my Dominant saw that as topping Him from the bottom. The other piece i had to face was that i was expected, due to the length of time we had known one another, to trust His judgment and to know, better than me, what would be effective.
Just the very fact that i could have no effect on the punishment was almost an additional punishment to me; i felt the actual one even more intensely.

(in reply to dove967)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/8/2009 8:00:37 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		I am somewhat like rayne but Sir has never told me in the 2 yrs I have known him I top from the bottom.

He wants my opinions and ideas....he makes the final decision.
I trust his judgement.


(in reply to rayne221)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/8/2009 8:07:53 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I think it's important for the dominant party to know how the submissive's brain works.  In this case, maybe he thinks the reward system will be more effective than the threat of punishment.  And obviously you disagree.  Have you told him why you feel this way? 

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/8/2009 8:14:46 PM   
vasha


Posts: 99
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline 		this reminds of one of my favorite quotes that i saw a Domme had in Her profile (wish i could remember who that was, but i digress) :  "your wants, are immaterial.  your needs, are criticle."  we trust that They know wich is wich, and what is best for us.  if the Owner doesnt care well for the slave,  He/She is damaging their property for no good, and likely long term detrimental purpose.  and if the slave is damaged, how can it well serve?

(in reply to RealSub58)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 1:50:21 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		I would prefer the quick corporal punishment always

I like the reward idea of a nice massage aswell, but for me dangling carrots do not always work...the immediate seduction of the food might be stronger than the want for a massage sometime next week...and if i then do not get my massage because i have failed, we both miss out on some fun and  i just get depressed and so less sexy so we miss out on even more fun and i'll wanna eat instead...downward spiral...

I would always prefer a quick hard slap with a ruler or even crop for my stupidity...
Or being denied my evening meal and having to serve Him and sit there watch Him eat
Or since i behaved like a pig be expected to eat something really disgusting for punishment...
Also He could make me go without my bra for a day...that would be hell

I could probably think of more good ways to punish me... and you have to make sure your Dom knows what would work best for you. That is not topping from the bottom, that is making for a good relationship and helping you reach your goals.

goodluck

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 2:07:53 AM   
StoneFox


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		_FR_

I know I'm not a sub but the OP's post seemed to make something very clear to ME...which is that it would seem her Master does not feel comfortable using pain (mental or physicaL) in punishment or with her need for that as a way to cope and learn from her mistakes.

Either way, I understand weight loss is incredibly hard. I myself have just come off a week and a half fast. One never realizes how much food is a luxury until you can't have it. I wish you the very best of luck, shylah :)

(in reply to ranja)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 2:57:07 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Nonsens...if he denies her a nice massage because she has failed it is a mental punishment innit?  And since he is a qualified massage person it seems to me he would physically hurt people on a regular basis to actually make them better so he would not be adversed to hurting people a bit otherwise he couldn't do his job.
Seems more a matter of simple choice to me, which is fine unless it does not really work for his sub and in that case some adjusting needs to be done...
Like i said; the taking away of rewards might mean he goes without a bit of fun himself aswell... everybody to their own but it wouldn't work for us.

(in reply to StoneFox)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 3:13:17 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		You accept the punishment he gives, even if that is no punishment.
Thing is, you may think you want something or know you want something but that doesn't mean that it is what is best for you.  If you trust your Master, then follow his request.  You have voiced your opinion, he made the choice.  You have to at least try it for a few months to see if he is correct.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 3:42:47 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		No my sub would not tell Me what punishment to give him because he is the sub and I am the Dominant, I make those decisions and he accepts them.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Shylahgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 4:34:39 AM   
StoneFox


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		As respectfully as I can say this...what you're saying is incorrect and misinformed as far as his job goes. And is giving her a massage fun for him as well? You don't know that. It very well might be a sacrifice on his part to reward her. You assume because massage is enjoyable for the receiver that it is going to be enjoyable for the giver. It isn't always. Sometimes it's really all about the other person.

And as for the mental aspect...not rewarding the negative behavior is not the same as causing mental anguish/pain. There is a difference between someone not getting a reward and someone getting a verbal beatdown. Rewards are for doing well, but they are not things that a person gets regardless of if they do good or bad. Things (most) people get regardless are things like food and shelter.





(in reply to ranja)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 4:52:01 AM   
MistressDiane


Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

No my sub would not tell Me what punishment to give him because he is the sub and I am the Dominant, I make those decisions and he accepts them.

~Lashra


 

I second that!

_____________________________

Ms. Diane
"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

"My treasures do not sparkle or glitter, they shine in the sun and neigh in the night."

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 7:16:17 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

, I be physically punished with whatever he feels appropriate.
 
There you go..................."whatever HE feels appropriate".
 
If you're not getting what you need, either become a Switch or move on to a Dom who can give you the beatings you seem crave.

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to MistressDiane)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 7:16:55 AM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello Shylahgirl. First you should know that the great majority of ''daddy doms'' are not into corporal punishment or sm stuff.

Second, if you are overeating because you find it pleasurable, you would be substituting displeasure for pleasure. Not a very
nice thing for the mind and not a very good long term strategy.

Third, by substituting a pleasure for another (positive reenforcement) your dom is keeping himself from psychological entanglement
(not his problem, your problem) and making you face up to your complete lack of self discipline in the self gratification department.

If I was your dom (not a daddy dom), I would punish you on the spot for trying to impose discipline in the dynamic for a problem
that you seem to lack discipline in. You have a good dom that accepts you like you are and leaves the ''growing'' up to you. Discipline
comes from self not from the outside. I could make you behave exactly like I want either by using severe threat or a million dollars but
that would be total bullshit. Your dom cannot make you want discipline, only you can grow into it. Good luck. RL


(in reply to Shylahgirl)
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RE: Master wants to punish you like this, but you feel ... - 7/9/2009 7:18:10 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		That was my first reaction upon reading the OP also.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MistressDiane)
Profile   Post #: 20
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