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Alphascendant -> Ten Years is a Long Time (7/9/2009 3:36:41 AM)
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Upon joining a certain monastary, a man was instructed that he was only allowed to say two words every ten years, or he would be expelled. At the end of the first ten years, the abbott approached the man to congratulate him for being there ten years without saying a word, even though he could say two, and then asked him if he had anything to say. The man replied, "Food cold."
Another ten years passed by, again the abbott approached him to congratulate him for being there another ten years without saying a word, even though he could say two, and asked if there was anything he would like to say. "Bed hard," the man replied.
Ten more years passed by, and again the abbott approached him to congratulate him for being there another ten years without saying a word, although he was allowed to say two, and again asked him if there was anything he would like to say. The man replied, "I quit."
"I kind of expected you would," remarked the abbott. "You haven't done anything but complain since you've been here."
One day a trapper noticed that his stack of furs was beginning to take up too much space and starting to smell quite raunchy. So he took them into town, sold them and made a lot of money. He went to the nearest bar, the only bar in town, and sat down. The bartender asked him what he wanted. "Beer and women," said the trapper. The bartender poured him a beer and said, "We have all the beer you can drink, but there hasn't been any women around here in ten years. But we got old Joe out back. He ain't got no teeth. That's the best we can do." The trapper downed his beer and slammed the mug onto the bar and said, "I don't go for that shit," as he stormed out of the bar.
After awhile the trapper noticed that his stack of furs was beginning to take up too much space and starting to smell quite raunchy. So he took them into town, sold them and made a lot of money. He went to the nearest bar, the only bar in town, and sat down. The bartender asked him what he wanted. "Beer and women," said the trapper. The bartender poured him a beer and said, "We have all the beer you can drink, but there hasn't been any women around here in twenty years. But we got old Joe out back. He ain't got no teeth. That's the best we can do." The trapper downed his beer and slammed the mug onto the bar and said, "I don't go for that shit," as he stormed out of the bar.
Before you know, the trapper noticed that his stack of furs was beginning to take up too much space and starting to smell quite raunchy. So he took them into town, sold them and made a lot of money. He went to the nearest bar, the only bar in town, and sat down. The bartender asked him what he wanted. "Beer and women," said the trapper. The bartender poured him a beer and said, "We have all the beer you can drink, but there hasn't been any women around here in thirty years. But we got old Joe out back. He ain't got no teeth. That's the best we can do."
The trapper thought for a few minutes, drank a few more beers, thinking how thirty years had been a long time. "How much for old Joe?" he asked the bartender. "Fifty bucks," said the bartender. "Fifty bucks?" said the trapper. "What in the hell does he do for fifty bucks that's so special?" The bartender replied, "Oh it ain't for old Joe. It's ten bucks apiece for the five guys to hold him down. Old Joe don't go for that shit!"
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