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Better late than never... - 7/9/2009 6:01:54 PM

Trishymouse

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I have been on Collarme.com for months now but only discovered forums lately (what can I say, I am slow...) I now realize there is a lot more to the website than first met my eyes. Without going into long boring details why I'm asking, I have a sincere question. I'm asking because it confuses me, and yes I have talked it over with my Dom and he has given me what I believe is an honest answer: Because he has had bad experiences in the past, he wants to take things slow. What confuses me is my deep feeling of insecurity while we take things slow. I'm used to things proceeding much faster. That said, I admit at the faster paces things did not work out so well...LOL So what do you all think - is slow sometimes...good?

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RE: Better late than never... - 7/9/2009 6:15:22 PM

sirsholly

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i think building a relationship slowly is the best way to go!!

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RE: Better late than never... - 7/10/2009 12:17:10 PM

JoePNY707

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It varies from person to person, but I generally say take it slow....laying the ground for a solid friendship often leads to more, and when it does, you are comfortable telling the other person what more you want, and how you want it.

I had a good friend become more that way--if you like, PM me and we can discuss it.

Hope this helps!

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RE: Better late than never... - 7/10/2009 12:25:57 PM

justme1980

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Trishymouse

I have been on Collarme.com for months now but only discovered forums lately (what can I say, I am slow...) I now realize there is a lot more to the website than first met my eyes. Without going into long boring details why I'm asking, I have a sincere question. I'm asking because it confuses me, and yes I have talked it over with my Dom and he has given me what I believe is an honest answer: Because he has had bad experiences in the past, he wants to take things slow. What confuses me is my deep feeling of insecurity while we take things slow. I'm used to things proceeding much faster. That said, I admit at the faster paces things did not work out so well...LOL So what do you all think - is slow sometimes...good?

I think you answered your own question. I perfer a man who takes his time as one who tries to rush things

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RE: Better late than never... - 7/11/2009 9:08:15 AM

prpackaged

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I like this question. For me, any relationship can only proceed as fast as the comfort level of the slowest person involved. If you need to go faster than your opposite then you will run the risk of crossing limits that you have not learned about. some of us love the actions and not the relationships. Some would never want any action without having the relationship. If you are seeking that relationship as a requirement to action then you need to proceed at a rate that give comfort to your needs and securities. Talk with anyone who you are about to explore and find out what limits need to be in place. Seek out those likes and dislikes so that you are not caught unaware of hir/her needs. I think you will find that learning to judge the speed of acceptance of yoru other will give you that added confidence to proceed with confidence.

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RE: Better late than never... - 7/11/2009 1:28:01 PM

Rhembein

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Welcome to the boards! And I agree with those that posted above me. Slow and steady wins the race. Taking your time will lead to a very healthy relationship on many levels. So especially if you're looking for long term, build it slow... one brick at a time. And sit back and enjoy it!

If you doubt his interest in you, talk to him about it. Best of luck to you! :)

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