Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Bluegod -> Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/9/2009 9:01:27 PM)

Were you introduced to BDSM first and then decided you were a Dom, sub or slave....or did you decide you were a Dom, sub or slave on your own and then discover the lifestyle?

I myself have been naturally dominant in all my previous relationships, but never felt satisfied when I did not go out with a sufficiently submissive woman. In an attempt to define who I am and what would satisfy me, I stumbled upon D/S...and then in an attempt to look for this s-type woman I joined this website. :)

Blue



jeninvegas -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/9/2009 9:14:33 PM)

I found the lifestyle before labeling myself a 'submissive'.  Well, the sequence of events were as such: I found I like rough sex, googled it, stumbled on BDSM on wikipedia, was immensely interested after my read, did a few things/searched for something, and someone suggested collarme.com after I posted on some other website.  The rest was history...[:D]



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/9/2009 9:36:16 PM)

I'd always known I was submissive but didn't know that's what it was called until I discovered bdsm.  All I knew was there was something definitely missing from all my intimate relationships.  When I discovered bdsm, all of a sudden I felt "normal," whatever that is!  It was okay to be me!  lol



cagliostro -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/9/2009 9:43:20 PM)

I was definitely dom, before I found out about BDSM. I actually had concerns that I was wrong, or too controlling, or whatever. So finding the lifestyle was a huge relief for me. I found it very funny just how obvious it was to everyone, too. I can trace my dom tendencies back to preschool, lol.



xiam -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 4:54:13 AM)

The terminology came later for me.  I had no idea there were words for what i was doing or wanting to do, let alone the fact that there was a whole community of people who did it, too.  :)

Hooray for the internet!



SnareMage85 -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 5:41:33 AM)

I knew I was a dom before the lifestyle. 

And I find it very fitting for me.



DavanKael -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 5:42:52 AM)

I am what I am; words don't really matter (Except as a point of beginning a conversation).
  Davan



daintydimples -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 5:51:12 AM)

I have been a switch my whole life. As someone else mentioned, the personality traits were obvious as early as pre-school.  I originally came out as a Domme, though. It took me several more years to accept my submissive side. Like many people new to BDSM, I started out primarily being interested in the sexual side of things. Then I did some reading about "what is a submissive" and it was a major epiphany.




VampiresLair -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 6:03:04 AM)

The reason I was introduced into the lifestyle by my mentor was because I was a dominant woman trying and failing at relationships with typical vanilla men. Too many power struggles and too much drama. I was a dominant personlaity before, I was a Domme once I found the lifestyle since the title didnt exist to me beforehand. Now, it is just to make my interests clearer to others, I personally dislike titling overall. But thats a different thread.

DV



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 6:07:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bluegod

Were you introduced to BDSM first and then decided you were a Dom, sub or slave....or did you decide you were a Dom, sub or slave on your own and then discover the lifestyle?

I myself have been naturally dominant in all my previous relationships, but never felt satisfied when I did not go out with a sufficiently submissive woman. In an attempt to define who I am and what would satisfy me, I stumbled upon D/S...and then in an attempt to look for this s-type woman I joined this website. :)

Blue


I identified as slave from the time I was a tiny little girl. That is, I knew what I was inside. I didn't have the vocabulary for it then. Was just learning to talk, and all that...

This was all a very long time ago, waaaay before the internet. You just knew what you were, back then. You just felt it inside.



Lashra -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 7:45:13 AM)

I've always been Dominant and found that my best relationships were with submissive males. I discovered this so called "lifestyle" at the age of 19 when I decided to tie up my boyfriend for the first time, then I didn't even think of consent I just did it lol. He was pleasantly shocked and surprised when he woke up tied to the bed.

Good luck in your search.

~Lashra



Andalusite -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 7:57:46 AM)

I had read "The Pearl," and really liked it, but couldn't picture myself actually *doing* that stuff in real life, since the intensity level was so high. I started out as a Domme (and also did S/M and bondage) for about 5 years, when I was 20. My next relationships didn't involve D/s at all, though, they were egalitarian kinky. My last relationship was as a submissive for 3 years, and I am currently a slave. I didn't get involved in the public lifestyle or BDSM community or whatever you want to call it, online or offline, until about 5 years ago.

I've introduced a couple of the guys I've been involved with to BDSM, but the others had at least heard about/fantasised about it already, even if they hadn't had an opportunity to try it.



Prinsexx -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 8:12:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bluegod

Were you introduced to BDSM first and then decided you were a Dom, sub or slave....or did you decide you were a Dom, sub or slave on your own and then discover the lifestyle?

I myself have been naturally dominant in all my previous relationships, but never felt satisfied when I did not go out with a sufficiently submissive woman. In an attempt to define who I am and what would satisfy me, I stumbled upon D/S...and then in an attempt to look for this s-type woman I joined this website. :)

Blue


I identified as slave from the time I was a tiny little girl. That is, I knew what I was inside. I didn't have the vocabulary for it then. Was just learning to talk, and all that...

This was all a very long time ago, waaaay before the internet. You just knew what you were, back then. You just felt it inside.

ditto



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 8:15:46 AM)

*adores Prinsexx*

[:)]



slaveluci -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 8:20:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming
I identified as slave from the time I was a tiny little girl. That is, I knew what I was inside. I didn't have the vocabulary for it then. Was just learning to talk, and all that...

This was all a very long time ago, waaaay before the internet. You just knew what you were, back then. You just felt it inside.

I second this. I wouldn't say I identified as "slave" from a tender age but definitely very submissive to men. I've written on here before about remembering incidents when I was as young as 4 where I had such feelings toward adult men who had visited our house as friends of the family. Of course, I didn't know about the sexual side of anything then but I knew that being close to them was pleasant and I wanted to make them happy even if it was just by sitting on their knee and making them smile or bringing them a glass of water. I can remember feeling so good getting to bring them something to eat or drink. I was serving them. They were happy and I felt happy. I knew how I felt but didn't know the labels for it. Now I do for what they are worth [:)]

luci




Mercnbeth -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 8:28:05 AM)

quote:

Were you introduced to BDSM first and then decided you were a Dom, sub or slave....or did you decide you were a Dom, sub or slave on your own and then discover the lifestyle?

this slave was introduced to the idea that one submits to whomever is in authority over them as a wee one.  they didn't call it dominance/submission.  they called it "The Way Things Are...As Long As You Live Under Our Roof".
 
her clothes, etc. were not "hers"...she owned nothing...it was all provided for her, under certain conditions...submitting to their authority through obedience was one of those conditions.  they didn't call it submitting, though.  they called it "smart", "good", "right" and "proper".
 
it was impressed upon her that her "husband" would have that role of authority as well as provider, in the future, so therefore she was taught "women's work" such as cleaning, gardening, caring for small helpless creatures, sewing, knitting, nursing and patience and not "men's work" such as how to earn money, repair an engine, build furniture, pour a concrete walkway, defend one's property, make friends with the neighbors or win a fight.
 
just for the record, Mom was not submissive, she was a career woman who dominated everyone she came into contact with...except Dad.
Dad wasn't submissive either, he also dominated everyone he came into contact with...except Mom.
 
they didn't call it dominant or submissive, though, they called it the way they were to everyone else(dominant)...and the way they were to the one they loved most(submissive).
 
this slave tried to submit to every vanilla partner she ever had...they found it repulsive and either ended the relationship and/or suggested she get help for that.
 
as far as the sexual/BDSM part:
this slave fantasized/masturbated about BDSM starting around age 5...but didn't participate with anyone until 31 years later.



LaTigresse -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 9:01:02 AM)

I've always been dominant, struggled to have a pc relationship with equal power, and fell into power exchange relationships. Discovering that there really were people, sub/slaves that WANTED to submit, removed a huge load of guilt I carried around.



Missokyst -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 9:04:34 AM)

I did this from the moment my virginity was completely removed, hands over head, secured by a shirt.  Considering how much it hurt I thought this was natural.
lol
Kyst 



SirRussellP -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 9:12:32 AM)

Yes, even as a young boy I lead others my age and older.

Russell




kuriouswitch -> RE: Were you a Dom/Sub/Slave before hearing about the lifestyle? (7/10/2009 9:36:12 AM)

I've always been submissive and tried to take care of the people i love. But when I purposely looked into BDSM I "identified" as a Domme but I knew I was submissive but was afraid to actively submit to someone. But after trying and failing at a Domme/slave relationship I decided I couldn't keep doing that and hurting myself and them.



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
6.445313E-02